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Sam09's avatar
Sam09
Member
8 years ago

Wanted someone who cares!

Today it really hit me .....I have no one that cares not one person. Coming up to my cancer 2 year diagnosis life goes on and I'm in it but so alone . I cook clean straighten hair do nails but still no one cares enough to say how are you mum . I am so very lonely . When my husband gets home late he eats and watches tv if I talk it's schhhhh please. I have to book to spend time with my beautiful daughter and when we go to do something.  A better offer comes up and she says sorry love you mum . It doesn't matter that I've been so excited for days . Ah well lots of cleaning and cooking to do I guess.  Phone calls yay...not one question I long to hear.....and how are you. Just ended with got to go love you mum.I now go to treatments alone...sorry mum to busy . Ring ring today mother in law yay someone to talk too . Talk talk yes that' terrible about your heartburn and horrible flatulence no no your not dying but hey I felt like saying I am probably sooner than later I do have stage four . But MUM...I say interrupting guess what 
 I got wonderful test results back ....sorry love gotta go bye. The tears fall and I sob then the son rings oh  mum what's wrong . Whats  wrong son....no one cares and I have cancer. 
MUM..get off the pity trail love you gotta go .
WANTED SOMEONE THAT CARES.



coping
metastatic-breast-cancer
  • goingdancing's avatar
    goingdancing
    Member
    8 years ago
    Hi Sam09 Your story brought tears to my eyes. I'm just beginning my BC journey so you are in a different place to me. I think a BC support group is a good idea - people who are or who have walked in your shoes. I think learning to be selfish is difficult for those who've always been the supporter of others. It's hard to break old habits both for the supporter and for the supported. A step away from the supporter role could be a good thing. Someone suggested you treating yourself by going away for a break. You don't have to go far away. Just a place where you would like to be, where you can be in a space, where you can relax, spoil yourself and love yourself.  It may assist in resetting roles and would also give you the time for a "love me myself" opportunity (stroke yourself lovingly) and perhaps a chance for a healing cry. But I'm not a counsellor, just someone who had to try to learn the "allow some selfish" lesson at age 62!! I had been the rock for everyone and the rock was fracturing. I went to Italy and Switzerland! But now anywhere near ocean or fresh water is good enough. Big hug from me. Catch the hug and hug yourself.  xxoo