Hi Sam09 Your story brought tears to my eyes. I'm just beginning my BC journey so you are in a different place to me. I think a BC support group is a good idea - people who are or who have walked in your shoes. I think learning to be selfish is difficult for those who've always been the supporter of others. It's hard to break old habits both for the supporter and for the supported. A step away from the supporter role could be a good thing. Someone suggested you treating yourself by going away for a break. You don't have to go far away. Just a place where you would like to be, where you can be in a space, where you can relax, spoil yourself and love yourself. It may assist in resetting roles and would also give you the time for a "love me myself" opportunity (stroke yourself lovingly) and perhaps a chance for a healing cry. But I'm not a counsellor, just someone who had to try to learn the "allow some selfish" lesson at age 62!! I had been the rock for everyone and the rock was fracturing. I went to Italy and Switzerland! But now anywhere near ocean or fresh water is good enough. Big hug from me. Catch the hug and hug yourself. xxoo