I am dealing with secondaries...I'm not going to lie to you it is shit! planning your own funeral...crap! Telling your kids you won't see them grow up! totally, utterly gut wrenching crap!
Dealing with the fact that cancer is going to kill me! utterly, completely CRAP!
People telling me I should just stay positive "wanting to punch them in the face" CRAPPITY CRAP CRAP CRAP!!!
Hi Belinda,
As another ABC woman, I can completely understand your feelings. It is great to be able to use this site to "vent", and vent we must. So much energy can be spent protecting our family and friends, so connection with others in similar situations is really helpful. I find your language very restrained!
I have no solutions though - we don't "battle" cancer, but endure what we must, and try to make the most we are able of every day we have. It's a wild ride.....
Best wishes..... Pam
Hey BelindaM - Good on you for putting it all out there. I too am really tired of all the pink ribbons and positive tough 'rahrahrah' that goes on. No one it seems really wants to know about it when it goes to secondaries and all those realities you have to deal with. Like all of us you really need the support and it is often not there although family and friends do try. We end up supporting them more often than not. Nothing wrong with a bit of language and thowing a few things around the place. Scream, cry and let it all out - doesn't actually make you feel better but it is a release valve of sorts. Just know that there are a lot of us with secondaries out here - not that many want to talk about the reality of it all. Yes, planning your funeral is shit - telling your kids and partner is shit, but they will surprise you with their strength. Then again about the funeral thing, just think how many people would be shuddering with what happened at the end of day rather than being in control - if you are like me you want to be in control!! Make sure your doctors actually talk with you not at you and emphasis to them that they must actually communicate with you as to what is going on rather than just waffling around the edges. They also need lessons in how to deal with these issues.
Luv, Jaci
Just wanted to say this whole bl**dy thing is shit, and you have every right to scream it from the roof tops, and I know what you mean about the stay positive line, if I have one more person say how strong I am I think I might throttle them, dont they realize we are crazy on the inside, arrh, would love it if we could wipe it off and flush it down, but seeing as that is not going to happen, I say bottoms up with a whole new meaning ( have a drink) and yell all you like.
Cheers Narelle
Just wanted to say this whole bl**dy thing is shit, and you have every right to scream it from the roof tops, and I know what you mean about the stay positive line, if I have one more person say how strong I am I think I might throttle them, dont they realize we are crazy on the inside, arrh, would love it if we could wipe it off and flush it down, but seeing as that is not going to happen, I say bottoms up with a whole new meaning ( have a drink) and yell all you like.
Cheers Narelle
However you feel, go with it. Unfortunately or fortunately, I have not "done" the angry bit YET. You need to let it out, punch walls, yell, swear whatever. I deal with my diagnosis by keeping extremely busy - even if I ache all over. The only person who knows my pain is my hubby - and I keep most of it from him!!! I can't tell you how to feel - only be here to "hear" your ROAR. If I could wave a magic wand and rid us all of BC I would be a very happy soul. It is CRAP and it does CRAP things. Please live in the knowledge that there are people on this site who care about you. XLeonie
However you feel, go with it. Unfortunately or fortunately, I have not "done" the angry bit YET. You need to let it out, punch walls, yell, swear whatever. I deal with my diagnosis by keeping extremely busy - even if I ache all over. The only person who knows my pain is my hubby - and I keep most of it from him!!! I can't tell you how to feel - only be here to "hear" your ROAR. If I could wave a magic wand and rid us all of BC I would be a very happy soul. It is CRAP and it does CRAP things. Please live in the knowledge that there are people on this site who care about you. XLeonie
Hey Belinda,
I'm not gonna lie and tell you I know how you feel, cos I dont.
But I am gonna tell you that I would be feeling the same way and I think your restraint in language is amazing! :-) I know we're online and all but yep, I'd be lettin out those crazy a** words, just put some of these **** in there and we'll get you! If you cant say that stuff here, where can u?
Chicks at our age have got too many other much more important things in life we should be dealing with other than this shite! I've got 3 girls too (21, 18 & 10) and they are my life, so you have every damn right to feel angry and let down by the world.
Positivity is great and all but C'MON PEOPLE...BREAST CANCER SUCKS!!
Its that phrase that everyone says to you when you get diagnosed but I reckon its a crock! Lets see if THEY can be positive while dealing with surgeries, chemo, rads, vomiting, being bald, scars, stitches, hospitals..and that's on a GOOD DAY!!!! Then lets chuck in kids, work, running a household, school excursions, lunches, homework etc etc
WE HEAR YA BELINDA!!! YELL AWAY!!!
Sam xxxxx
