Triple Neg, diagnosed 4 wks ago, have had 2 cycles of AC chemo - I wonder what has happened?

Sorry to hear that @Jennim I'm a two time winner of the booby prize as well. It sucks. Mxx

Tasia said:

Hello, I am not sure how to introduce myself, as this self, is new to me. I feel I havenʻt had time to prepare or make sense of who I am when I look at self. An experience, I have walked into or more precisely, I am on a treadmill of some sort and someone has yanked it up and I canʻt keep up. Emotions running havoc. I am very grateful for support services such as this and give thanks to the community of people who reach out to help each other. For those who read this, thank you.

Hi Tasia,
This is my 2nd time on this treadmill.  I was first diagnosed in 2013 with TNBC and had 9 months of full on treatment-surgery, chemo and rads.  I was into my 6 year clear and had my usual mammo/us and bingo here I am again. TNBC but in the other breast - what are the odds? Had surgery within a week of getting the results and then had to go back in as they found another tumour but of another type & DCIS to boot.  my advice is you will be scared to death and emotions will be high and low but just breathe and ask lots of questions...never feel like you need to make decisions on the spot. Don't sweat the small stuff and remember to laugh!! Good luck, you got this! 

Hi @Tasia, it is such a difficult and confusing time, there is just so much to process on the hop. I was diagnosed in December 2019, and have had chemo and surgery. I too posted at the start of it all and @Afraser gave me advice that I absolutely clung to - ‘as impossible as it seemed, I would one day look back at everything and would struggle to remember all of it.’ Gosh, I can’t tell you how many times I said that to myself.
@Zoffiel nailed it, it is a shitfest, but you will get through it. There are so many people here who will be able to offer so much support. This is going to challenge you and yes you may change, but I guess any life event, good or bad impacts us in some way. Things feel shaky at the moment, but you will get your confidence back in time. You have had a lot to take in and you need time to try and make some sense of it and catch up. In the meantime, be kind to yourself. I am wishing you all the very best wishes as we all walk along this path. There are many helping hands here offering support when we stumble or struggle to navigate the way forward. Mx

Thank you iserbrown. My warmest and best wishes to you also.

It's certainly a roller coaster!

Zoffiel has summed it up well!

There are some uplifting posts on the forum that may help you 
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/22349/9-years-clear-after-second-triple-negative-diagnosis/p1

Take care and best wishes 

@Zoffiel - I need to find a way to believe that it will not change my character either. I sit with curiosity and doubt - when the mission of treatment is to destroy the tumour, does it not break down other parts of you? change you?

i went for a walk today and watched people around me - I noticed two things a) people avoid making contact (maybe my choice of bandanas or scarves don’t appeal to them 😜)
and b) how differently I do the walk thing now. Yes, I can still walk but I’ve lost my ability to walk with confidence, strength and energy, to walk kms without concern. To interact with strangers and not so strangers. Covid only adds to the challenge. 

“Gritty brutal dehumanising shitfest”  I will borrow your spot on description (with your permission) to come up with a visual to match the words 😁 x

@tasia I'd like to say this shitty disease has a merciful side. I really would. If it does, I haven't seen it.

Dialogue around cancer tends towards the brave, the battling, the epiphany where people turn their lives around and reinvent themselves. Even those who perish have done so for The Greater Good. I'm going to call rubbish on that.

It's a gritty brutal dehumanising shitfest for the majority of us. Deep!y unglamorous.

After two bouts of BC, a decade apart, I can't laugh without worrying I'll wet myself. I laugh anyway. I was hugely amused by stories about folk stockpiling bog rolls. Anyone who's done chemo knows you may need none for weeks, and then you will need rolls and  rolls. I've done the broke and nearly homeless thing--work myself to death or expire in not so gentile poverty?

You could not makes !of of this stuff we go through up, it ridiculous.. And the ridiculous is what keeps me going. This disease does many things, but I like to think it hasn't changed my character--though it has given me more licence to express it on occassions. 

Keep plodding. MXX

Feel like I’m always exhausted!

I woke up this morning (like almost every morning these days)  flooded by emotion and rolling tears; at times, I can self regulate. Connected with cherished family and friends - that keeps me balanced. 

Will the treatment worsen symptoms? Or does it basically remain at a stand still?

I have been researching cbd oil for symptom management. Between pharmaceuticals and the underground market, I’m starting to sense the priorities are lining pockets rather than supporting affordable wellness.

Thank you for taking the time to read my posts and comment  
🍃🦋🍃

I was diagnosed 17.8.20, saw 2 breast surgeons 18.8, followed by the oncologist 19.8. The rest of that week, I spent daily at the hospital undergoing the series of tests. 24.8 I had the port inserted, 25.8 I had my 1st cycle of chemo, Wed Pegfilgrastim injection.have completed 2nd cycle and this coming week will go for 3rd round (if all goes well). 5.9 port confirmed infected, now they suspect I have internal bleeding from Cyclophosphamide, I’ve lost weight, hair, my ME self. I am self employed and that has suffered also.

Is there a part of your life BC shows mercy to?