Today was D Day
Comments
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Golly gosh, @MelV83 I am so sorry to hear that your contract hasn’t been renewed. That’s a really tough call, leading up to your surgery and Xmas with the kids
How long have you been at that school? I am sure the kids will miss you next year too With the current teacher shortage (even where you are) it doesn’t make sense to get rid of a specialist Maths & Science teacher …. When I am guessing there would be way more ‘general’ teachers available ….. have they given you a reason? They owe you that, I reckon! My husband and sister were teachers & both had meltdowns from stress. Hubby was close to retirement age, but my sister was only 3 years in - both left the profession altogether! Are there other schools in the area that you can check out for next year? Yearly contracts make NO sense. No continuity for the kids, either.
Yep - the biopsy can really bruise your boob - one of mine (a couple of years after my surgery) had me left absolutely black & blue! It took months to settle. Luckily it was a false call.
Yes, relief teaching can be horrible - not only the financial insecurity - but often you don’t know til 8am if you are needed that day - and you’ve got to sit there, hoping! And then, it may not even be convenient for that day!!
Consider contacting the Cancer Council - they do provide financial advice and possible financial assistance ….. even if it means possible Centrelink support in the short term. You will also probably need someone staying with you initially after your surgery, helping with the kids & cooking etc as you won’t be able to do housework/washing/maybe even shopping. .. no heavy lifting til after you see the surgeon again ….
https://www.cancersa.org.au/support/support-services/legal-and-financial-assistance/
In NSW there are a couple of philanthropic groups who actually give financial support to those with cancer … I am thinking there may be some in SA as well. The social worker at your hospital should be able to help you contact them eg: https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/financial-support-during-long-term-illness
With your son being autistic, it may help you move up any list for assistance xx.Thinking of you - take care, take it one day at a time & try not to get too far ahead of yourself …. Contacting the Social Worker, sooner than later, would be my first bet xx1 -
@MelV83 Im really sorry but also pi**ed off that during such a huge teacher shortage that we have in this country. It’s hypocrisy to not fix things we keep loosing teachers all across the education sector 12 months contracts?? what are these bureaucrats thinking are they if the real world.
Check your superannuation insurance to see what cover you have.
also the groups others that have already been mentioned.Take care of you 1st get the help with the children that you can source, Canteen etc
Accept all the help you can get at this time. Its hard at first to ask but it is needed.Keep us in the loop with how you’re going.2 -
@arpie the only reason I was given was that they didn’t need me anymore. Then today one of the student teachers burst in all excited because he was going to be given a special authority to teach next year, so I guess I know why they didn’t need me.So after 3 years teaching there I’ll be saying goodbye in 6 weeks. There might be a teacher shortage but it would seem that there isn’t a lot of jobs advertised at the moment so I will have to just wait and see if I come up on any lists for principals in terms of contracts.The one thing I maintain about myself is that I’m very good at my job, and as I work in a tough school I run a tight ship in my classroom, which benefits the kids but has made the leadership look bad I suppose so there is another reason.I need to see if I can freeze my mortgage once I have a final diagnosis and plan in place. Then I have to check if my super has income protection and if I can access it if need be while I am unable to work. I have my sister who said she would help but I find that very difficult.I FINALLY made contact with a breast cancer nurse today who is pretty concerned that I am 2 weeks post diagnosis and I’m still 3 weeks from an appointment so she is going to try and get an appointment earlier than that. I no longer owe my workplace anything and will lose my accumulated sick leave once I’m no longer working so am planning multiple days off for the rest of the year so I can have some time to organise what I might need in the next few weeks/months. Hopefully she will call me tomorrow.2
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@cranky_granny unfortunately there is not quite as much of a teacher shortage in metro Adelaide as there is in other states. A colleague of mine is moving to QLD for next year and has already secured a permanent position, a place to leave and will receive financial bonuses to go there.But I spoke with my psych tonight and broke the news to her and while she gets why not having a job is so upsetting she was very glad I won’t be working there as it’s a toxic work environment where we have lost 2/3 of the staff in the last 12 months with the changeover of the principal, deputy and other high level executive staff. Rats deserting a sinking ship lol3
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@MelV83. Its all a bummer but I agree with your psych getting out of the toxic environment is best. It’s what I call a blessing in disguise. I read on here somewhere or the cancer council website about accessing your insurance. (My tax 25 yrs old consultant brain kicked in) make sure its taxed or you put money aside for tax).I drew down super once I used up all my sick leave and holidays. Then I was on a part jobseeker payment as I never went back to work full time again it suited me that way. I’m >67 so now its age pension with wages. Less stress accept at this time of year.I pick the days I work.When I get overwhelmed with all the BC stuff I try to humm ( cant sing at all or whistle) Monty Pythons
Always look on the bright side of life, And have a laugh about the movie.Hope everything works out with the planning1 -
Gosh - that really sucks, @MelV83 - can we assume that the ‘new’ teacher will be on a cheaper contract? I bet he isn’t a Maths/Science teacher! Being a new teacher, he will have NO idea what lies ahead of him with difficult students, ‘real lesson preparation’ and all that teaching entails …. The burnout on new teachers is huge. OMG - losing 2/3 of the teachers definitely shows a lack of leadership …. Maybe debrief to the Dept of Education … I am sure THEY’VE noticed the exodus! It does almost seem to be a bonus to be getting out. XxBummer that you will lose your accumulated sick leave - in ‘normal jobs’, if you have surgery/illnesses during holidays, you can take that OUT of your sick leave …..
Get onto that super income protection sooner than later - everything goes on ‘go slow’ pretty much from the end of Nov as people gear up to Xmas!
Great that your BC Nurse is going in to bat for you & hopefully get you an earlier appointment. Xx Take a trusted friend or family member with you as an extra set of ears & support - and record it too, so you can go back over it as well, later on. Have a list of questions & tick them off as they are taken care of.
Take care & all the best for your appt date changing0 -
@cranky_granny yes I agree getting out is a good thing for wellbeing. I plan on waiting until my staging scans are sorted and I have final results and a plan before I have to go to sorting the financial stuff which is very daunting.Plan is to freeze the home loan and check if I need to be in contract to start the income protection from super. I’m 41 so still have a good 20 years of teaching left in me yet. I also have some savings which I will likely have to burn through before I can claim any other Centrelink benefits.While I don’t regret becoming a single parent, it is times like these I do envy those who have someone else who can take the financial strain so I could focus on treatment but that’s not how it all worked out I suppose 🤷🏼♀️
@arpie yes he will definitely be on the low end (tier 1 to my tier 7) of income, but his inexperience with running a classroom in a complex school is not going to help him in the long run and may even burn him out, as the types of schools I work in are not for the faint hearted and it is a completely different role compared to his current one (he is a SSO currently).
And unfortunately the department for education already knows. Every year staff across the state fill out a wellbeing survey and ours was so low they sent people from the department to talk to teacher about why. Yet the only thing that came from that was passive aggressive emails telling us that change is hard and we need to learn to be more adaptable and find our “why” (which makes most teachers either roll their eyes or gag, except for the newbies who are all bright and shiny and don’t know the game or the rules yet). The exodus has continued. 4 other teachers were told on Friday. 3 more have been announced as getting jobs elsewhere.But, on a brighter and slightly anxiety inducing note, I took the day off yesterday to recalibrate my brain- and heard back from the breast care nurse! She had definitely gone in to bat for me and as it is currently 4:15am I can now say I have staging scans tomorrow. I assume this is the standard set of scans- CT contrast of head, chest, abdomen and pelvis followed by whole body bone scan?Then on Monday I will see the breast surgeon at a different hospital linked within the network, and my medical team will have their meeting on Tuesday- after which time I will have a plan moving forward.It kind of feels like the time since diagnosis has been like the beginning of a roller coaster ride- clicking slowly up to the first crest which now I am getting there seems super high up and I know once I go over that edge everything will be fast and moving every which way very quickly.
I wouldn’t say I’m feeling scared, but it’s feeling more real now the next step, more information, more decisions and plans are about to be made. Definitely anxiety inducing…3 -
@MelV83 glad the planning is under way. Thats the worst part about all this. We always seem to be waiting and waiting for results and answers.I appear blasé about it sometimes but inside it eats at me. Had a bad 3 weeks on my medication this round. Along with long days at work. I’m asking for a longer break before I start again. Just to get something's like normal feeling back. Not ready to chuck it in because it’s working but the side effects are the pits.By this time next week hopefully you will mapped out
and i hope you have someone to take with you to be that 2nd set of ears. I was surprised how much info I missed when the choices were put to me. My daughter came with me then we went for coffee and talked about it. I went with the one that they felt was the would give the better result. Boy didn’t things move fast after that.Treatment started the next week.1 -
Good on you for taking the day off - you'll be doing that more before the end of the school year!
That is terrific that your BC Nurse has arranged all that so quickly @MelV83! She can also become your confidant in MANY ways too - so don't be afraid to discuss all issues with her, as your mental health is just as important as your physical health! Don't forget to check out the 'tick sheets' on the 'Welcome to new members' thread on Page 1 .... sometimes it is easier to show them to your team, than to talk about it! xx
It is great to get all the scans done, including full body - as they then have a 'picture of you 'now' ... and can compare any future ones with it, to show that chemo/treatment is working & less activity xx
You are now on the official 'bandwagon' ... and it can be a bit exhausting, so be kind to yourself. Is there any way that your kids' father may be able to step up to the plate & help out now & then, maybe by having them with him during some of your treatment/recovery? or hopefully other family members?
In the mean time, keep yourself as busy as you can, doing things you love doing .... also keep your mind active & busy - otherwise it can go off on tangents on the 'what ifs' ... Take each day as it comes ... and remember that just now, you need to put yourself first xx
take care and all the best for next week xx
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@arpie I don’t think the children’s father will be much help. The DV in the marriage has continued long past the divorce and there is the very distinct possibility he will take me back to court to take the kids completely by claiming I am incapacitated. I haven’t ruled out telling him that I’m having surgery with late notice and not tell him what for till I’m ready- but I’ll have to think about it once I have the plans moving forward. What would have been more helpful is more child support while I am unable to work, but even asking for that could be asking for trouble.I do have other family members to help though which is good. Since my kids are older (12 and 14) they should be able to help me at home, it’s just driving and stuff.@cranky_granny I have my sister coming with me tomorrow and hopefully on Monday- she’s a pediatric oncology nurse so can definitely talk the medical talk where needed and advocate for me as well as explain my options if my brain freezes on Monday.
In terms of decisions I want everything they can throw at it that will have a positive outcome and give me the best chances of avoiding recurrence, depending on the results of course. All this time thinking about it does eat at me quietly but I’m pretty good at reminding myself that it is anxiety and doing something to distract myself and calm down. Melatonin is also helping at night.3 -
Scans were yesterday, all went well. Met a lovely lady with cancer in the waiting room for the bone scan and we had a nice chat about some of the side effects of the chemo treatment she had and her lovely headscarf.Now I have the seemingly forever wait for the results on Monday. Keep everything crossed for me that it has stayed localised!4
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Hi @MelV83, good luck with your scan results. Don't be too freaked out if they send you off for more scans as a result. They picked up a few things on my initial scans, completely unrelated to my breast cancer, which they then had to investigate. They assured me at the time that it is very common to pick up other things when they do full body scans. I had a cyst on my liver (common), cyst on my ovary (common) and nodule on my lung (fairly common). Mine were all fine.2
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@Katie46 I also had a nodule found on my lung. I am getting sent for a PET scan hopefully later this week.As for the rest of my results- I have been upgraded to stage 3 locally advanced, but no distant metastasis at this point. So far there are at least 5 lymph nodes involved and most of those are relatively large. They are concerned it is moving into lymph nodes in my neck as my collarbone area has become tender but is still nothing compared to my armpit.The surgeon wants to do breast conserving surgery but I’m not sure why if there is a risk of recurrence. I made it clear I wanted an aggressive approach to limit the chances of it coming back. Then we discussed the options and it looks like I will have the whole lot- chemo first followed by surgery and axillary clearance, then radiation in the armpit, maybe chest and neck. Then the hormone blockers.I’ve asked for a port to be inserted for chemo so I go back to the surgeon next week to sign consent forms and hopefully get that sorted, then the cancer centre at my local hospital will call to organise all the chemo etc with my oncologist who I haven’t met yet. I do know that the Red devil will be my starting point so I’m going to research that a bit.
I’m feeling relatively positive about it all as my main concern was it moving to stage 4 but stage 3 made more sense based on what I already knew about the lymphatic system. Chemo will hopefully shrink my lymph nodes down as I’m finding sleep without medical assistance (painkillers/melatonin) hard, and even having my arm against my side is painful.2 -
Had my PET scan this morning, and some unfortunate news- while still locally advanced, it appears that some Mets are in the lymph nodes around my clavicle so there is definitely no more waiting and everything is happening very fast. Signed the consent forms for the port today and am on an urgent call list. I see the oncologist on Friday to go through my protocol so looks like we are throwing everything we can at it asap to stop its progress.The doctor I saw today told me this new news hasn’t changed my treatment plan but it has made it more urgent- although they have not told me that it is aggressive or anything like that so I’m trying to keep positive.I’ve now told my children’s father and while his reply to my email seems supportive, he has already mentioned changing care arrangements which can be taken both ways, so I’m keeping a quiet eye on that. The last person I need to tell now is my principal who has a poor history of being compassionate towards staff, so hopefully that discussion will go well.3
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That's a bugger @MelV83 ... good that they'll start treatment sooner tho xx
I hope your kids' father surprises you supports both you and the kids well xx.
All the best with the Principal ...
And remember - when the going gets tough ..... the tough get going xx. Treatment for Mets is MUCH better now than it was in the past ..... your team will be doing the best for you - for the best results xx
take care xx1
