An unwanted "gift" for my 40th birthday

CozyCat

Hi everyone,

In the middle of January, I felt a lump in my breast and went through the usual tests - mammogram and ultrasound, and then biopsies of both breasts. At the end of February, roughly two weeks before my 40th birthday, my doctor called me to come in straightaway and told me that I have DCIS in the right breast.
I was referred to a specialist, and then had an MRI to properly rule out any spread of the cancer cells. The tumor is 6x4x6cm. 
I have lumpectomy surgery booked for 3rd of April. The doctor is planning on using a flap (LICAP) to reconstruct the breast and nipple. I am feeling overwhelmed by all of this and am trying to process all of my feelings. Luckily I have a therapist with whom I have regular contact. My family is trying to be supportive, but they don't live close by.

I would greatly appreciate any tips for preparing myself prior to and after the surgery. Eg: Wound/scar management. etc. As well as coming to terms with the changes I will face afterwards.

Thank you.
CozyCat
  

Jenmcd

Hi CozyCat
Sorry to read your unwanted “gift”. It sucks doesn’t it? I am new to this as well having been diagnosed with DCIS in my right breast mid Feb after a routine screen. So hard to process as I didn’t feel any different but they were telling me I needed a partial mastectomy, removal of the nipple and the sentinel lymph node. I am now 10 days post surgery and trying to process all that has happened seemingly so quickly. So in terms of advice on how to prepare, I don’t have a lot other than trying to take it all one step at a time as this helps me feel more in control. I’m learning to control the controllable and let everything else go. I’m learning to manage the pain better and stay on top of the medication so it doesn’t get too bad. Ice packs have helped as I’ve had so much swelling and bruising. Think the phantom nipple pain is the thing I’m struggling with most and got told to massage the area but that hurts more! It’s been difficult to look in the mirror and accept the changes but I’m guessing time will help with this. 

Go Gently as this is such a shitty ride to be on and I’m learning the grief and loss is an emotional roller coaster. Take care and hope you find some joy in turning 40. 

CozyCat

Thank you for your reply, Jenmcd

I'm sorry to read that you are going through something similar, but I appreciate your advice.
It's good to know about the ice-packs. 
Something that is helping to keep me buoyant is the plan to return to study once life gets back to "normal". I had just started a new course (in Design) when I got the diagnosis, and have had to put it on hold for now. It'll be something to look forward to. 

Thank you for your well-wishes. I really hope your healing journey gets easier for you.

  

Tri

Hi @CozyCat what a hectic couple of months and an unwelcome birthday development 🌻❤️ sorry you have had this. 

I had a lumpectomy to my left breast for a tumour last year, after having chemotherapy. 

Prepping for surgery - 
I was advised by the surgeon to purchase a couple of soft cup front opening bras, to bring one to theatre and to wear the bra (night and day) for 4-6 weeks after surgery. I believe you can purchase these at most department stores. 
The nurses also gave me a small breast supportive pillow. I think BCNA will also provide these and a bra to you for free. 

I was also studying and unfortunately I had quite a bit of tiredness, BUT I think it was probably due to chemo and getting Covid, rather than the surgery itself, so a medical certificate was helpful to support extra time I needed. 

I also started some physio about 4 weeks after surgery in an oncology physio program that was helpful for stamina and strengthening. 

I did find having a few tubs of soup and prepared light meals in the freezer helped as I didn’t have much of an appetite. Hydralyte was good too.
I found the physical recovery very straightforward- no infections, a bit of seroma (fluid build up) but healed very quickly. 
Wishing you all the best! 

arpie

Sorry to see you joining our 'special club' ... the one we never thought we'd have to join - and Definitely not the birthday present you wanted @CozyCat   It is a real roller coaster ride - and our emotions are up & down .... it is totally normal to feel sad & upset - check out Charlotte Tottman's Podcasts - she is a BC Psychologist who had a double mastectomy & chose to remain flat, so she 'gets it'.  She has a very natural & easy speaking style & the podcasts are very easy to listen to.  
Click on the 'show the 22 tracks' and click on No 13 (which is actually the first one!) Or you can just listen to them in random order.
https://soundcloud.com/search?q=charlotte tottman

After your surgery - definitely keep up the pain meds (whether you think you need them or not.) If the pain breaks thru, it can take much longer to get on top of it - so take the meds as advised (often 4 hourly) to prevent it breaking thru in the first place.  Take notes & if you think anything 'looks weird' - take a pic of it every day or so - it can be handy to show your Breast Care nurse or even your surgeon. 

Some great advice given already .... just make sure you don't use Dr Google ... as a lot of the info is OLD & not even relevant to your own diagnosis (and it can scare you!)   The support pillow is very important - it supports the arm on the surgery side - and also is good for 'hugging' on the drive home, as any bump in the road jars your boob and it can hurt - specially going over gutters, eg to petrol stations & into your property (as I found out on the way home! And another reason to keep your pain meds up!)  And definitely cook up some of your favourite meals & freeze them for easy post-op meals.   Buy in your favourite snacks & fruit - as sometimes you just feel like something 'light & easy'.

ACCEPT ANY offer of assistance or meals - you'll be a bit restricted in movement afterwards - so you may need some help around the home & garden - no hanging out the washing or mowing .... it could be taking the kids to school or sports ....   

Jump onto this thread - it has lots of info in it, re what to take to hospital etc as well as some other posts that may interest you, re your hobbies (art & Craft, gardens etc) and we even have some 'funny posts' as we all need a laugh now & then!    There are also some tick sheets down the bottom that you can print off & fill in re your mental and physical recovery .... fill them in & take them with you to your appointments xx.    Make lists of your questions - and give your surgeon a copy & tick them off as each one is 'addressed'.  Ask for copies of all your Reports ... get a box & store them!   Also Consider recording all your appointments - it is easy to miss (or forget) bits, with so much going on. 
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/23477/a-big-welcome-to-all-our-new-members#latest

take care, I will never forget how relieved I felt after the surgery, just knowing 'the beast' was GORN!! 

All the best

cactusk

Hi @CozyCat
The first bit really is crazy, but as the others have said, day by day.
During the first few weeks & months of tests and appointments and waiting, I formed a WhatsApp group. 2 of my closest were the admins, they came to all the appointments with me. There were able to then update a larger group of my nearest and dearest (including friends and relatives from interstate) so that i didn't have to share the same info over and over. I was in the group too. It meant that everyone I wanted to let know what was going on had the same info at the same time, and then I could chat to them as I had the energy and courage.
This worked for me and saved me on the days when I really didn't want to talk anymore, but I knew that people were worried.
Best of wishes, this forum was and remains a great source of comfort, information and support.
Kelly

AnnieMichelle_123

At the start of the breast cancer journey it is challenging to even think that one is about to start a ‘journey’.  Coming to the reality of a diagnosis takes a lot of time and patience to accept. It is important not to rush yourself. Practicing self -compassion and an attitude of receiving from others helped me during a difficult and daunting period.  

I gave myself the kindness that I would offer someone else and therefore, I factored in the pleasant things of life such as making art, exercising, eating healthy foods, having creative pursuits and enjoying moments like going out for a special meal or a walk in nature. 

I was diagnosed with early breast cancer last year in mid June and treated with surgery and then radiation therapy. I have been taking hormone blockers since last October ( Letrozole) 

It is important to plan for moments of gratitude and joy even when one’s world is turned upside down. It was a reminder to implement self-care, especially soothing my nervous system and grounding myself. 

I also found that receiving information and support from the medical team was very important rather than using Dr Google! I was advised by my surgeon to contact BCNA and Cancer Council for information and this gave me the up to date and most helpful information regarding the diagnosis and treatment pathway. The support network and hotlines are there to support us every day. Finally, taking one step at a time was my mantra and being in the moment rather than rushing ahead. 

In terms of wound management, I began to moisturise the area before surgery with Moo Goo product. I used the pillow during the day and when resting at night. I also did the exercises shared by the physio after surgery and kept active with gentle walking as well. I visited my dietitian who advised me to eat more protein and gave me a wound healing eating plan. It worked well. I also contacted the breast care nurse attached to the hospital where I was having surgery. Her support pre and post surgery was amazing in information and emotional support for me and offered to my family. 

All the very best. Stay connected to BCNA

Ann 

CozyCat

Thank you all so much for taking the time to comment on my first post and to lend support on this strange journey. I will note down all of the advice given. 
I have been very busy cleaning and tidying up my flat so that I don't have to worry too much about it while I'm in the early stages of recovering. My sister is coming to visit me over Easter and it will be lovely to see her again. 
I have noticed that I've been very fatigued for last few weeks and am trying to get enough sleep and eat healthy food. Maybe it's just stress.

I'll definitely stay connected with BCNA.

Thank you
CozyCat

iserbrown

Fatigue is very real!

https://www.bcna.org.au/resource-hub/articles/fatigue/

cranky_granny

Hi @CozyCat  all of the previous suggestions are spot on. 

With my surgery (2017) though left sided they went in not sure whether I was going to end up with a mastectomy or not. They knew at the time the tumour was attached to the skin and the muscle what they found was attached to the sternum as well. I still came home with most of my breast though a cup size smaller. Thankfully it hadn’t reached the nipple I’ve  a bit if a patchwork where they took the affected skin area away and used the underside of the breast for the patch. My breasts had a lot if sag and no longer youthful or useful. They surgeons did a good job apparently. They asked me to show it off to a couple of registrars etc on their morning rounds. Recovery was not too bad considering I was expecting the worst. Before  your surgery make sure you already have a list those questions ready so they can be answered prior to release from hospital. 

The only thing i forgot to ask was what to watch for I had a small area of infection in the scar line where a stitch had been this  delayed radiation for a week. Hell i couldn’t see under my boob and didn’t think to look. 

After surgery i didn't use ice packs i had 2 packets of frozen peas which i switched between i wrapped it in a thin cheap hand towel. Just because they could be shaped around my breast. I reckon the seroma i had developed could have gotten a lot larger.   I just recently broke my wrist and used the same thing for the pain and swelling till the proper cast went on.  

A very close nurse friend saw what i was doing and applauded my efforts. 

Best wishes for your upcoming surgery keep us updated. 

Cindi

Hi @CozyCat, I'm sorry this has happened to you, my advise is make sure after surgery and you go home, DONT do any house work or anything, just rest for a week or two, until healing takes place, as I made the mistake of doing some cleaning up at home ( as soon as I returned) and had a bleed which slowed the healing.
Take it easy at home and you will heal quicker. At the hospital you should get a breast care nurse who will give you a special bra or you can find very comfy front opening soft bras at Kmart or Target , good value. Also the nurse who is assigned to you can give you any advise you ask, I often rang mine for advise, they are very understanding.
 Good luck and remember, you're not alone.
Cindi x