Gin1966 Member Posts: 2
edited June 2021 in Newly diagnosed
I have just been diagnosed a few weeks ago and will undergo a mastectomy and breast reconstruction later this week.
At times it feels so surreal and then there is a sudden sense of feeling so overwhelmed and it is so all consuming.
Then find myself trying to keep "busy" and maybe that is my way of avoiding confronting the diagnosis, have spoken with the psychologist which helped immensely.
By nature I am a "planner", I plan everything however this feels so out of my control.
Thank you for reading/listening.


  • FLClover
    FLClover Member Posts: 1,536
    Everything you described is also how I felt. As said above 👆🏻, being a planner will be in your favour if you ask for all results and ask to be informed enough so you can be involved in all the decisions. And please remember, most of the time the situation is not as scary as we have imagined it. But don’t expect to feel like you’re in control of everything, cos that could be part of the problem. Just trust that your medical experts will do their best to help you, but also trust your own body and mind. 
  • MicheleR
    MicheleR Member Posts: 343
    Hi @Gin1966,

    Sorry to hear of your diagnosis.  

    All of us can empathise. The first few weeks are stressful and scary. After my first week i felt sick of people poking and prodding and i wanted action but i was terrified too. The wait for surgery seemed endless and this hieghtened the sense of panic.

    Not sure if this helps but i felt enormous relief after surgery because we were finally getting on with something concrete. Hopefully you will too. Things will start to get planned out and you will get on with the business of getting well and caring for yourself. 

    I think most people start to come to terms to a degree as you go along. 

    The best thing is to try to take one step at a time, worry about what is happening at each stage. Look after yourself, be kind to yourself.


  • jennyss
    jennyss Member Posts: 1,959
    Dear @Gin1966,

    for your upcoming surgery
    from jennyss in Western NSW
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,584
    Hi @Gin1966

    Welcome to the club that no-one wants to join .... ask away any question that you want here & you'll get an honest answer.

    Yep, It's a real train wreck to start off with - plus the shock of diagnosis as well .... we've all been there, so 'we get it' - sometimes, family & friends 'don't'!    They think that just because you've had your surgery & radiation, that your are 'finished' and 'OK' - and it  is not always the case - it can take a few years before you 'find yourself' again.   I found it mucked with my brain much more than I expected ....

    That is terrific that you've spoken with the psychologist already, to give you coping mechanisms, as your emotions & feelings may well sway over the next couple of months - and years.

    Try & get back into doing the things you love (as you are able to do so) or even try something 'new' - to give you the urge to get out & about ..... Yep - keeping busy is the trick, I find.  Don't be afraid to ask for help if/when you need it.

    Try not to use Dr Google too much (difficult tho it is) as there is just so much conflicting information out there (and much of it is REALLY OLD & OUT OF DATE), and every BC case is totally 'unique' and it will only scare the pants off you!

    As you haven't had your surgery yet, we have some posts here on what to take with you to hospital, to make it 'easier' on you.  

    And for your appointments & annual checkups, here are some ‘tick sheets’ to help you put your questions together for your medical team.  (Make sure you click on the documents at the BOTTOM of the post, as the others are only sample pages.)

    We have lots of different areas here that you can check out too - some for a laugh, some for showing off your art & crafts ... 

    or some wise words
     ..... you can show us how good you are at Art & Craft,
    or show us your pets
     & garden!  
    Or show us your quickest, easiest favourite meal ..

    So take care, all the best for your surgery (make sure you have a small pillow/cushion to hug on your drive home from the hospital!  Any jarring by hitting bumps can HURT!  Hugging the cushion can minimise this!  xx

  • Mazbeth
    Mazbeth Member Posts: 199
    Hi @Gin1966, I know you don’t want to be here, none of us do, but we have all walked the path and hopefully we can help you along the way. I felt exactly like you in December 2019. @arpie has fabulous tips and advice. Great to hear you have spoken with a psychologist as it is so helpful to speak to someone outside your family and friends, somewhere you can be completely honest and open about how you are feeling. It is overwhelming and terrifying and a whole lot of other things, but take one minute at a time. You will get a plan and settle into it - sounds unimaginable, but you will absolutely get there. I had chemo, BMX, completed my reconstruction and back teaching. Take care, this time will pass. X
  • FLClover
    FLClover Member Posts: 1,536
    @annajjj your life is def put on pause. Right now the most important thing is beating this. Everything else can wait. But don’t forget to find joy too. Just because you’re fighting bc doesn’t mean fun has to be put on hold too. Have a bath, dance around the house, meditate, go for beach walks etc. You’ll still think about the ca, but you’ll feel a lot more relaxed, and your body will feel loved again and re-find its motivation for living. 
    One thing, you’ll def stop thinking about bc one day in the future. It doesn’t seem like it now, understandably, but you will. It won’t be on your mind 24/7, and it won’t scare you anymore cos you’ll feel much stronger. Then you’ll resume your life, in a new and better way, and even get annoyed at the thought it once butted in your life so rudely ♥️. 
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,584
    Hi @annajjj ... Glad to see you've found us ... feel free to start a new thread in the New Members re your own BC story ..... and you  (and @gin1966) can add your 'area/city' to your profile - who knows, there may be other members living nearby who may be able to meet up with you & have a chat & a coffee!!    Please check out the links I put in @Gin1966's post .... if we can help lessen your stress with some giggles & art & craft diversions .... give it a go! ;) 

    Take care & all the best for your surgery if you haven't had it yet xx
  • annajjj
    annajjj Member Posts: 14
    Thinking of you @Gin1966. Hope you're doing okay.
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,584
    All the best @Gin1966 ... make haste slowly for your recovery xxx

    If there is anything we can help you with, just ask xx