Un pc thoughts

135678

Comments

  • MicheleR
    MicheleR Member Posts: 352
    @FLClover i felt sorry for her, the mouth was going and she kept digging herself in deeper. She is a nice person and rather than both suffering it was easier to disengage. I told hubby and he laughed and said she obviously wasn't thinking too deeply. Maybe she got caught on the hop.  At least she attempted to ask me how I was rather than avoiding it. 
  • Caz1
    Caz1 Member Posts: 382
    You need to master the quick exit/ ghosting my friend!  ;)
  • FLClover
    FLClover Member Posts: 1,573
    Yes I know @MicheleR, they are well meaning. Tbh, I might’ve been one of those previously, who knows. I was terrified of cancer, and didn’t know to deal with it. It’s not cos I thought I’d get it from them (lo and behold!) but cos I felt so bad that anyone had to have it. I now know better, but obviously cos it’s me now 😂. I can’t tell you how difficult and confronting it was to look in the mirror after my diagnosis, and especially after my surgery, and realise that I’m that ‘cancer person’ I’d been so afraid for before. It took a while to be able to look at myself and actually feel comfortable. But even though cancer is a d**kwad, it’s not like I feared it would be. The survival rate is pretty great, and a lot of the time after surgery it’s gone, and we feel and look pretty ok again. It’s more the treatment that makes us look and feel ‘sick.’ And after a lot of work on myself with the help of my brilliant psychologist, I now feel better than ever. That’s why people’s comments annoy me, especially when it’s along the lines of ‘well I know someone who is stage 4 and she’s been fine for 3 years...’ bla bla. I have to emphasis ‘I HAD it, it was stage 1, calm down.’ I know they’re trying, and I’m veeery patient, but I do feel one day I might  fly off the handle. I hope I don’t 👀😁
  • MicheleR
    MicheleR Member Posts: 352
    @FLClover i think everyone finds it difficult. How are you is a reasonable question I think? Can i do anything? How do you feel about that? I said to a lady in chemo the other day when she was explaining that must feel shit. 
  • Abbydog
    Abbydog Member Posts: 509
    People have generally been great with me.  But I do agree. Other people seem to think it is comforting, to I don't know who, to talk of other people's breast cancer stories. I found it so annoying as this was about me. 

  • Dory65
    Dory65 Member Posts: 323
    Hi @MicheleR,
    I pay to talk to a counsellor because there's no one else with whom I would feel comfortable airing my thoughts and feelings. Reactions from family/friends to my BC diagnosis and the subsequent 12 months since ? My son and one friend stepped up. For a while. Some disappointing lack of concern from others. Whatever. I'm too fatigued now to care. Venting at the counselling sessions is cathartic. Give it a go. And vent here any time. :) We get it.
  • FLClover
    FLClover Member Posts: 1,573
    @MicheleR those are very reasonable questions, and ones I always ask friends and students who have all sorts of problems. That’s why I’m wondering why I don’t always get the same back. I do from a few, but not everyone I’d expect. But that’s why I try not to have expectations. They can lead to disappointments. 
  • FLClover
    FLClover Member Posts: 1,573
    @ddon or when your neighbour, right after your biopsies, before you’re even diagnosed, says: oh, all of my hubby’s cousins and aunts passed from it. 
    And your blood and jaw both drop to the ground. 
    Thanks Karen, thanks. 
  • ddon
    ddon Member Posts: 349
    😳😳 @FLClover. You wouldn’t be inviting that neighbour over for coffee in a hurry. 

  • Abbydog
    Abbydog Member Posts: 509
    MicheleR
    It sounds like he may have deserved it. And I'm sure it wasn't all your clutter.
    Has he stepped up and done extra, since your treatments have begun?
  • FLClover
    FLClover Member Posts: 1,573
    @ddon no I wouldn’t!! Mind you, she was waiting for her own biopsy results, which later came back negative. Her poor daughter, who is only 12, keeps hearing about how she’s pretty much doomed cos there’s connection to it from both parents. So if she gets it, it’ll only be cos she’s subconsciously been thinking that she has to get it since she was born 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🙄. 
    I’m currently involved in a strata spat with that idiot woman and her husband 
  • FLClover
    FLClover Member Posts: 1,573
    @MicheleR I think that right about now, you should be treated like a queen, not being complained to about clutter or whatever else. Fight for you 👊🏻👑❤️
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 8,100
    edited October 2020
    Oh dear, @Michelle_R - he's got eyes & obviously 'saw' the 'clutter' - why didn't he move it or pick it up himself??  Probably, because we've been picking up after them our whole married life!  LOL. 

    Take care XX