Newly diagnosed

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  • Locksley
    Locksley Member Posts: 953
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    Congratulations on your baby grandson.  He is beautiful.   Good luck for your surgery and treatment plan. Sending Hugs xxx
  • LoisLois
    LoisLois Member Posts: 43
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    @Louise64 - please do not ever feel embarrassed nor think your diagnosis is any less of a life changing event that others.  YOU are undergoing a huge challenge.  Noone ever sits in this forum and thinks "oh wow, she got off lightly!"  every single one of us, understand the huge toll it takes on our emotions, life, job prospects, daily events, and most important who we are as a human being.  YOU are BRAVE. 
    As to the mutliple decisions that need to be made on what seems a minute by minute basis - a good thing to do is take a diary or record information on your phone - if possible take someone with you to all your appointments.  Take one day at a time - it will all fall into place as needed.  Time does seem to drag especially while waiting for surgery! 
    I sincerely wish you a fast and easy recovery for the surgery and hopefully you will have someone to help care for you - I highly recommend this!!! 
    Big Hugs and remember - YOU ARE BRAVE!!!!!!!!! 
    Lois 
  • ChezaH
    ChezaH Member Posts: 549
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    Louise64 said:

    Thanks for all your kind words and support. I’m now less than 2 weeks to surgery as a teacher -I’m waiting for school holidays . My DCIS is intermediate-high grade It’s non invasive...so still feel a bit embarrassed I’m so worried when so many have faced much steeper challenges than me. Living alone gives you too much time to think. Also have only told 4 people so looking forward to holidays so I can relax.  I am not looking forward to radiotherapy as have sun damaged skin. But thankful it’s early diagnosis. I seem to be making a lot of choices so quickly - but time is dragging. 
    My grandson is gorgeous- so can’t wait to get back to see him in Canberra. 

    Thank you again to all the brave people who make me feel I’m not alone 💕💕💕💕

    Hi Louise, Yes this site is amazing, and I have learnt so much from it, It does pay to do the research on what to ask your doctors etc, I had not had any experience in this area, and did not have a clue about it all, but I found the questions that I needed to ask before appointments. Take somebody with you to every single appointment and treatment if possible, as the brain does not retain it all, as you are going through so much. Where do you live, I am on the gold coast thought you might be close ?
    If you want to talk just send me a private message, as I found that it is good to speak to somebody else going through the same thing as you. It is reassuring !! Sending Hugs Cheryl xx
  • Louise64
    Louise64 Member Posts: 112
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    Thank you - I’m in Brisbane-thank you for advice. I’ve done everything by myself last 3-4 weeks. Only told family and now friend living with breast cancer. Organised my leave for next term - so ready to go but will take someone from now on in 
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,801
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    And even record your sessions on your phone - you can download a Voice Pro Record app ..... then you can go over it afterwards yourself, too, @Louise64.  All the best xx

  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,392
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    Recording is sensible - as is asking for information in writing, many oncologists can provide written information on treatment, side effects etc. Both are useful for checking later, explaining to others and so forth. 
    My partner came with me for my biopsy results and for my first meeting with my oncologist. I might have valued him being there for my first chemo, but I ended up having it in hospital anyway (nothing serious) so plenty of support! Otherwise I preferred to go on my own. I tolerated chemo pretty well, worked throughout and liked having some relatively quiet time on my own. Everyone’s different, the important thing is to do what you find best for you! 
  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974
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    Adorable bubba!

    My brain retained all the info quite well. My husband came with me to the first couple of appointments and after that I did it mostly on my own. We're all different. You do you! Best of luck with everything. K xox
  • Sister
    Sister Member Posts: 4,960
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    Friends can be amazing support but they can also be quite draining if all you're talking about is cancer.  What worked for me, and it's not for everyone, was letting a couple of close friends tell everyone else but with the instructions that they weren't to call me - they were told I was hunkering down and that any info would be passed on.  A few weeks later, I started a blog to update people.  What this all meant was that I didn't have to make excuses for how I was feeling (and sometimes I really wasn't there if you know what I mean) but that I didn't feel like I was having to cope with their feelings all of the time.  And I certainly felt the love as I was going through treatment - even calling in to work (like you, at a school), colleagues would make small remarks that showed me they were following my progress and were supportive but without weighing me down.
    As for appointments, I retained some of what was said, but would somehow vague off for other things so it helped having someone else with me.  I did, however, learn early on to write down any questions so that I would forget to ask.
  • ChezaH
    ChezaH Member Posts: 549
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    Yes I sent a text saying if they wanted to talk with me to text me first and if I felt well enough I would let them know if not they could ring my husband for an update. That worked really well for me as I have been hospitalized 3 times so far with chemo so that made a huge difference as I just could not talk. Hugs Cheryl 
  • Louise64
    Louise64 Member Posts: 112
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    I’m divorced - daughter interstate- so my sister will be liaison 👍
  • ChezaH
    ChezaH Member Posts: 549
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    Louise64 said:

    I’m divorced - daughter interstate- so my sister will be liaison 👍

    That a super idea xx
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,801
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    @Louise64 - I only told close family & friends initially.  Then I broadened it to other friends in a monthly email until I was feeling much better in my head & could actually talk to people without blubbing (I am a total sook.)  It was easier to reply to emails than to keep repeating stuff over the phone or in person.  Some people I didn't tell for 12 months & even 2 years later (some family members fell into this category!!) 

    Mine all happened over Xmas/New Year, so it totally stuffed that all up - twice in a row actually, as I had a call back the following Dec as well!  :(  (All clear luckily - but it still does your head in!)  grrr

    In the mean time, just keep as busy as you can, write down ANY queries! Maybe check out these 'tick sheets' that may assist you in formulating questions with all your Medical Team (even GPs) particularly after your surgery. Click on the 4 down the bottom - the others are just pics of Page 1!
    https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/21973/questions-to-ask-post-surgery-of-yourself-to-your-specialists-tick-sheets-self-assessment#latest

    Take care, all the best xx
  • Ahnn
    Ahnn Member Posts: 42
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    Best wishes @Louise64 for upcoming surgery. School holidays are almost upon us. I found like others I limited who I told, including at work. Initially only a few close family members were advised in person,  then as as I recovered from the initial shock, I was able to tell more people. There are always going to be friends and acquaintances who ask if you are okay - it's up to you who and what you say. Support is essential for you to feel normal and concentrate on taking it day by day. No question is silly and it's okay to cry when you feel overwhelmed.