Newly diagnosed

Louise64 Member Posts: 112
edited June 2020 in Newly diagnosed
Hi all, my mum had breast cancer at 50 and passed away after 20 year battle. I was diagnosed last week, surgeon appointment tomorrow, surgery booked already. I also had my first grandson last week, same day was having all my mammograms, ultrasound etc. Do I tell her as she is interstate or wait until closer to surgery date. I have my sister & brother supporting me as I live alone.I’ll know more when meet surgeon tomorrow. Dad is in 80s still debating when to tell him. My brother cried. My sister has had cancer, chemo etc so I know we are survivors! 


  • Louise64
    Louise64 Member Posts: 112
    *Sorry- it’s my daughter I need to tell. I fly down to see baby this week. 
  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,390
    Dear @Louise64
    I would have suggested wait until you know a bit more to tell your daughter - just as you are in a whirlwind of appointments and emotions, she will be just as preoccupied with the needs of a newborn and her own changed world. But that’s very hard if you are visiting, much easier time n the phone. Just make sure she has some support too, it’s hard for everyone. If you can give her some clear factual information at that time, it may help. Is your father close by and living at home? My mother was in her late 80s, interstate and in care, so I had staff to talk to. As she was physically frail but perfectly mentally alert, they strongly advised to let her know and to be part of it all, which she responded to very well after the initial shock (no cancer at all in our family). Timing for a bc diagnosis is never great, and as you will recognise, family may react in very different ways. Best wishes whatever you decide and for your surgery and treatment. 

  • Nefertari
    Nefertari Member Posts: 288
    BC has such terrible timing doesn't it?

    I waited till I had a few more facts and my treatment plan before I told my daughter, I just wanted to be able to answer questions calmly.  However she lives in the same state and I could see her anytime, must be so hard when you are living in different states.
    Like you I told my sisters as one has had BC and I knew I could count on her for guidance.  The other is also very supportive.

    After the surgeon visit you will know a lot more which may make that decision easier or maybe when you see your daughter you will feel the timing is right. 
    Congratulations on your new grandson and good luck with the surgery.
  • Dory65
    Dory65 Member Posts: 323
    Dear @Louise64,
    Take some deep breaths. I'm a few months ahead of you. We have fantastic health care in Australia, staffed by smart, kind people. You will be well taken care of.
    Best wishes. x
  • ddon
    ddon Member Posts: 349
    Enjoy your first cuddle xx
  • Tinks
    Tinks Member Posts: 234
    what a cutie and so much joy in all your lives

    lots love Tinks xx
  • ddon
    ddon Member Posts: 349
    He is so beautiful. Best wishes with for treatment ahead.
  • Leia
    Leia Member Posts: 39
    isnt he gorgeous! Something else to hang onto if times ahead get tough. Best wishes for your upcoming surgery and treatment.
  • Poodle_Lady55
    Poodle_Lady55 Member Posts: 20
    He's so sweet and smiley already :) and you sound very together re treatment and surgery. 

    Best wishes x
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,742
    All the best @Louise64 with your surgery and recovery xx   .... I am so sorry to see you here specially with your family history .... it is Great that you have your siblings’ support.  You have your treatment plan in place  and your lovely grandson will be giving you so much joy.  

    Feel free to chuck up any query that you may have ... and we’ll Do our best to give honest answers.

    take care xxxx
  • LoisLois
    LoisLois Member Posts: 43
    Congratulations on your baby grandson! Best of luck and big hugs for the surgery and what is to come. Lois