Feeling Lost
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You may find once you've got your treatment plan that there's a breast care nurse as part of the team. Mine was part of the surgeon's team.
Take care1 -
Like you i have found the diagnosis a complete shock and still haven't accepted that it is real. My recall for another mammogram, ultrasound and two core biopsies took over 6 hours so i knew something was wrong. No symptoms, no palpable lumps and regular yearly scans. I thought they were being careful. 4 weeks later bilateral lumpectomy for high grade DCIS and pending results of that on 19th. I wish I'd contacted BCNA before last week. So much support here to help you in this difficult period of waiting for scans and results3
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Good luck with your results too. Planning what happens next can give you back some of that control you suddenly lost. Breathe and remember we're all here for you in this journey2
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Oh we all get it.
I found a lump 5 weeks after a clear mammogram. Under ultrasound they didn't say it was cancer but I noted the looks between the radiographer and the Dr and they proceeded with 5 core biopsies. Might be a burst blood vessel he said...yeah like I believed that one.
My husband kept saying just think positive ...which annoyed the crap out of me. ..before the GP appointment I said to him...it's cancer Pete. ..you need to be prepared. ..I just want to get the next step going.
I was angry with myself. Angry I was very busy in my job and hadn't persued the revisit to a genetic counsellor to see if I had the same gene from Scotland. I thought the bloody stress of my job had caused cancer...I'd finally changed jobs after a breakdown and life was looking pretty good then bam. Cancer.
Meanwhile my SIL was dying from cancer she had ignored and I attended her funeral between biopsy and result. All the while terrified it would be me in the coffin next. I had a sister who had died from bc....gene negative.
But hey. ..here I am.
I didn't have that gene anyway. .just another 1 in 8.
I had a bilateral mastectomy due to breast density which may have consealed the cancer...so we opted to remove both. My Aunt had cancer in both breasts and it was the second that got her. She did have the gene though.
It was a bloody hard 8 months...but on I go. Living with some side effects of treatment, struggling with my weight and never fully regaining my energy I had pre chemo.
But...life's pretty good. I work full time again. I'm advancing my career. And one thing I have learned from cancer is "not to sweat the small stuff" I honestly don't give a rats about trivial things now. Family, holidays and a job where I feel I can make a difference in someones week is all I need.
So lovely...yes having things in order is not silly or jinxing yourself...but I want you now to make plans for living. 90% of women live at least 5 years from diagnosis.
Dream of travel.
Plan your head gear in case of chemo.
Check out leave in case you need time off.
And...book a dental appointment for a good clean and check up. It's great preventative care pre treatment.
And remember...no question is silly. X8 -
@Felicia29 I googled McGrath Breast Care Nurses & you can put in your location & find one that is closest to you. There was only one in my region so it made it an easy choice. The website gave me her email address so I emailed her direct to introduce myself & told her my story. i also sent her ALL my pathology & doctors reports so she could see what I was dealing with & it also gives her a better understanding of the advice she can give you in treatment & a path going forward. As they are medically trained, they can decipher all the medical jargon so it's like having a free doctor/counselor at your beck & call. My nurse also offered to speak to my hubbie or any family member that may need counselling or had any questions so they do a really good job at not only helping you but your whole family. Good luck & it sounds like you are on to it now. keep in touch. love & strength xx3
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Thank you so much @Anne65. I spoke to a McGrath Breast Care Nurse this afternoon. She has already been very helpful and I am going to call her after my meeting at the clinic on Monday when I get my results and have a better idea of how to move forward. I feel better knowing I have a sounding board.6
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@Felicia29 That's the best news! She will be your new best friend & a help/support to your family & friends if they also need to speak to her. Ask her any question, silly or otherwise!! Email her through your medical/pathology reports when you get them so she has a good understanding of your type of cancer & treatment.
You are doing really well. So proud of you!! xx2 -
@Felicia29 So glad that you feel you're making progress in getting support gathered around you. Guilt and self-blame have no place in our lives. They don't help us and don't change anything. We just need to focus on the present and the future and put ourselves first at this time.
You've had excellent advice from the other ladies on here.
I understand your desire to "put your affairs in order". I've done that - probably to extremes. My daughter can't believe I've done a slide show of photos for my "leaving drinks party" (it won't be a funeral!). But I want to save as much stress as possible for her and other people when the time comes, and I'm naturally super-organised. I told her she can add photos if she wants but not take any out! Like you, I've seen situations where people have made no plans (mostly as a JP) and it becomes a nightmare. And costly. I'm 20 months on from diagnosis and am feeling very positive about the future, but I need to have a plan.
Whatever your treatment path ends up being, I wish you all the best. Accept offers of help and be kind to yourself. Keep asking questions of your medical team until you understand and don't agree to anything you're unhappy about.
I found the counsellors at the Cancer Council to be a great support, too, when I needed to talk about tensions between my children just before my surgery last year.131120.3 -
Felicia29 - I am in my very early days as well, heading for chemo 2 on Monday. Being part of the forum has been by far the best thing I have done so far in finding practical help, advice and support. I am so incredibly grateful to all, so Felicia - hold onto this group forum. Get rid of the guilt because there is none, - I had my mammogram in January and it was all clear and yet in July there it was - it just happens. Just take everything a day at a time.6
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@KayB55 thank you. I will be thinking of you Monday as I head off for my results. A big day for both of us. I am slowly coming to grips with this new reality and yes, taking one day at a time. I think I have moved on from the guilt. It is what it is. I didn't cause it. And I have made some huge life changes in the last few months that are going to give me more strength and clarity moving forward. What a roller coaster.1
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@Flaneuse it's good to know that I'm not the only planner out there. I've got a folder prepared, a list of questions and prompts that I hope are going to help, and a support person who asks questions for a living so I'm sure he will think of things I don't. Another step forward today.1
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@Felicia29
@KayB55
@Ahnn
Just know that someone far away is holding all three of you in my thoughts and prayers for today.
The very best of warm Kimberley wishes to you.
Annie3 -
@Felicia29 GOOD LUCK for today. Sending love, thoughts, prayers & hugs your way. Glad to hear you have a folder of questions plus you have someone going with you. Tick, tick!! Write it all down or record it if you need to & ask all the silly questions. You are moving forward in this battle. Proud of you! Love & strength xx1
