No reconstruction after double mast

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  • Sister
    Sister Member Posts: 4,960
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    @marketta I would suggest writing a pros and cons list and being honest with yourself.  Why do you want recon and how you would feel without it.  Be realistic about what you can expect the recon to look and feel like.  Do some soul searching about how you will feel without it.  Sometimes, writing it down can clarify your thoughts.  

    I was reflecting yesterday, as I was changing into my bathers in the public area of the changerooms at the pool, how little that bothers me (and I thought it would bother me a lot).  I have been known to shed a tear though as I put the slightly low-cut strappy top back on the rack at the shops.
  • Marketta
    Marketta Member Posts: 34
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    @Sister, your right. It’s the whole honestly with self thing. I’ll admit I put my bathers on yesterday and looked in the mirror and admired my curves and thought how I would feel without them. I googled images on no reconstruction and tried to picture those images as me. 
    if I choose no reconstruction I know it won’t be easy in fact I think it will be mentally as hard as DIEP would be physically hard and it would force me To have allot of growth in the self love department to work through but I see such a deeper beauty in that. ( if I can achieve that though)
    I think to go without the recon is such a brave thing. It symbolises to me a depth of self love and acceptance of the journey you have been on and how strong you must be to move forward and focus on the more important things in life. The less sufferficial things. I often have moments like you where I grieve my “old self” so many changes and forced changes, but gratitude after for life.
    @sister next time you pic up a top and have a tear, think of me and admirable I am of you and how I think your amazing and your pretty awesome. 
    Lovibg yourself for you you are, rather than what you look like is soooo powerful to me.
    i think if I’m honest I want to choose no reconstruction, I think I’d be prouder of myself but my vanity is getting in the way and that annoys me because it’s not something I can easily reverse.
    thank you so much for your reply it helped me realise allot xxx you are wonderful @sister

  • Sister
    Sister Member Posts: 4,960
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    Just remember @Marketta You don't have to be rushed into a decision!
  • nikkid
    nikkid Member Posts: 1,766
    edited June 2019
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    Hi @Marketta - I just wanted to wade in...the 'Choosing Breast Reconstruction' group might be a good place to ask around as these are women who have opted for recons and have a wealth of experience to share.

    My only feedback in the interim, though, is that opting for breast reconstruction is nothing about vanity or the superficial things. It's most certainly not an easy option either.

    And, as @Sister says - taking time to make a decision that is right for you (and no one else) is a good thing to do.
  • BlackWidow
    BlackWidow Member Posts: 268
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    Hey, @Zoffiel  -  I am not very computer-literate - how do I find your story ?  Anne
  • TonyaM
    TonyaM Member Posts: 2,836
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    I tend to think that with this bc journey you don’t know how you are going to feel/react about each step until it happens.I had a major meltdown whilst signing chemo consent forms and then when I first saw my mastectomy I was like oh well.
    I couldn’t predict my reactions or emotions which rattled me abit.I do know that seeing my mangled chest is a constant reminder of cancer.But once I’m dressed I forget about it. I’m not out n proud or see it as a battle scar of how I heroically survived bc.It Just is what it is and I hide it as best as possible and get on with life.Like @Sister,clothes shopping can sometimes bring a tear when you have to put that lovely top with a low neckline back.Nothing though, when compared to being free of cancer.
  • Marketta
    Marketta Member Posts: 34
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    ❤️❤️❤️@tonyaM
  • Zoffiel
    Zoffiel Member Posts: 3,374
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    @BlackWidow it was a post called something like 11 years 8 ops in the CBR group
  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974
    edited June 2019
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    I've sent you a DM.  :)
  • BlackWidow
    BlackWidow Member Posts: 268
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    Thank you @Zoffiel - found your post and commented.  You have helped me with my indecision !  Anne
  • melclarity
    melclarity Member Posts: 3,524
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    @Marketta it's a very personal decision, I also wanted to say without any shadow of a doubt, reconstruction and particularly a Diep flap has nothing to do with vanity. I know speaking for myself if thats why I had my single mastectomy/diep flap?? I would never be happy. In terms of courage, reconstruction takes an enormous amount, it is a very tough road for recovery. My decision to reconstruct had nothing to do with my appearance, that got left at the door when I had a recurrence in 2015 and had to undergo further surgery and chemo. Did I grieve the long blonde hair? size 10? and D cups I were? sure did! but how I looked had nothing on how I actually felt, this was the clincher of my decision, I love myself more than I ever have inspite of my physicality that Ive lost these past few years. The reconstruction was so much deeper for me it was psychological, but what I learnt prior to doing it was, it wasnt about how they looked whether I reconstructed or not, it was about how I psychologically could cope with loving me and feeling the most normal.

    Take your time, it is super personal and none of it is brave, to do it or not, its all very hard. M 
  • SoldierCrab
    SoldierCrab Member Posts: 3,449
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    hi Marketta, sorry this is a bit late in replying to you.... been away for a week. 
    I had a double mastectomy and no reconstruction back in 2012... 
    I am very happy with my decision and dont even wear prothesises

    I have lots of allergies and decided 1 surgery was enough 


  • Josephine66
    Josephine66 Member Posts: 79
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    @Marketta as every one has said it's each to their own and what you feel is for you. There's no right or wrong on this part of the journey. I'm nearly 2 years since diagnosis (Oct 2017) and turning 53 next month. I initially had left removed then additional nodes a month later. Surgeon refused to remove both so I went through chemo and radiation with just the right boob. Oh a sad saggy bag it was! Anyway I finally had it removed last November and the feeling of freedom both mentally anf physically was instant. I've chosen for the moment not to have reconstruction as I wanted to get on with life and find my new normal. In no hurry to have more surgery.It really hasn't bothered me not having boobs. If I go out I wear the prosthetics (I wear the swimming ones) and have used them in bathers too. To be honest growing my hair back or slowing shifting weight gained from chemo bothers me more. With that said, never say never. I might wake up one day and want some new boobies.
    Good luck x
  • Sirrah
    Sirrah Member Posts: 77
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    @Marketta Hi, as others have said u have to feel that your decision is right for you! In my case I have had a sh** 12 mths and having DIEP reconstruction 2 weeks ago of both breasts from my abdomen, including mastectomy of my "good" breast performed by my original surgeon in conjunction with my wonderful Plastic Surgeon Dr Grant Fraser-Kirk, Kawana has made me feel so optimistic for the future. I would have been happy to stay flat, however my original surgeon would not do my "good" breast when I was first diagnosed so I was very lopsided. I also had a persistent seroma (later diagnosed as low grade staph. Infection and treated after 7 mths with special antibiotics) so always had a small painful size A  breast anyway on the b/c side. I decided to investigate DIEP and was assured the seroma pocket would b removed and it was. I am so relieved that the op. and recovery was so easy. Left hospital less than 5 days later and could get in and out of bed, didn't need an electronic chair to sleep in. Best decision FOR me. All the best making your decision
  • Vix1963
    Vix1963 Member Posts: 22
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    Stage 2b invasive lobular cancer of L breast.
    double mastectomy bad for Oct 6th- was initially offered DIEP but after two strokes, hoke in heart repair and 6 months chemo I’ve decided body had enough and needs to repair. I don’t want to go thru op after op fixing up issues from DIEP (necrosis etc) implants too. I’ve decided to embrace the flat brigade- I asked my surgeon for Aesthetic Flat closure- a form of reconstruction of the chest wall at the time of mastectomy, so my chest will be smooth and flat, no dog ears, no concave - I hope.
    eventually a tattoo acros scar
    would anyone here kindly share their pic please?.