Unspoken thoughts
Comments
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Don't you just love the hyperbole? A well known politician is having chemotherapy at the moment. He is in the "fight of his life"!!!1
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@Blossom1961, I love this; so true. I'm sick of being told how good I look, how brave I am, I'm an inspiration. A friend said she saw me walking my dog and thought how good I was going. I was actually limping in pain from my sacrum and nobody else will walk the poor dog.
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Actually @Uffy the inspiration statement gets me the most. Not sure how to reply to that one without being rude so I just smile.1
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I find it really difficult to know how to respond to the 'you're amazing, 'you're an inspiration' comments. On one hand, it's nice. You're being paid a compliment of sorts I suppose. It suggests admiration and it's nice to be admired. On the other hand, it's not like you really have a choice, is it...
To a certain degree my circumstances imply a choice (raising my deceased (from BC) sister's children), but the people who'd refuse this job would be few and far between. It's what you do for family.
Having now gone through BC myself, thinking about how I'd express these feelings, I'd probably go with something like, 'I really admire how you're handling it' rather than 'you're amazing' etc.2 -
I think the visions of people undergoing cancer treatment 40 years ago still linger. It's bad enough now, but it must have been fucking awful before the antiemetics a were sorted out during chemo and when radiotherapy fried you, literally, to the bone. Early surgery for breast cancer saw women filleted like fish. Horrible.
So yes, we usually fair better, and look better, than the winners of the boobie prize in the 60s and 70s. As long as it doesn't kill us.
The irony is that if we look well while all this shit is happening, we must have looked terrible beforehand
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I had to show someone my drivers licence on Saturday and the woman told me I look much better with short hair. I’m still not sure whether to be insulted or complimented. I wonder what she would of said if I told her it was all that had grown back after chemo. Sometimes I’d like to say things like this to people just to be evil
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@KiwiAngel. Everyone says I look younger with short hair .It's always been long ,but I sometimes used to wear a short wig on stage and everyone said I looked younger. However I wasn't about to chop my hair off. Now that it's short for all the wrong reasons a client asked me the other day if I liked it . Well duh, 1# I don't have a choice and #2 I'm bloody grateful for every hair1
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A salesman from a gym I’d canceled rang and sai “how is your health and fitness sincess you’ve left us”? To which I answered “do you really want to know? Are you free to talk privately?” Then I filled him in. Hopefully next time this young man will check the notes they keep on each client and be a bit more careful in his remarks. I’m still sitting on the fence whether I should have been as honest as I was but my diagnosis is only new and still raw1
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Its so good to read these comments...it seems we are all on the same page....x0
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@MeganM. I probably would have answered the same. Your reactions at this stage will be what they are. It doesn't matter too much as it's your pressure cooker. Sometimes businesses, such as gyms have a high turnover of staff and there is no personal interaction. He probably sat down and cold called with the same opener.. Before diagnosis I'd sometimes get asked in Woollies by young staff members 'and how are you today' I'd say 'do you really want to know, if so I'll buy you lunch because it will take that long.. Bless them, they would smile, and so would I. Fingers crossed for the future3
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Probably shook him up but if he stays in the game, it will be good training for him. I can remember when I was a teenager in a Saturday morning job at a department store and we were given a line (long lost to time) to greet people with. I thought then that it sounded fake and I would hate it directed at me so I continued to smile and say "Good morning. How can I help you?". Since then we have become so used to these phoney statements and questions that we don't even notice. We all know that the checkout staff and salespeople could not care less how we are and certainly do not want to know. I found it uncomfortable and slightly offensive before I had cancer. So, as far as I'm concerned, turn it straight back if that's what you want to do. I relish my entry into grumpy old womanhood.7
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Thanks I normally wouldn’t be so up front but this salesman kept going on and on about 3 times..”how is your health ?” Wel now he knows and yes I hope he learns how to read his audience better as most have grey hair and I’m sure some sort of health issue3
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About ten years ago, so I would have been around fifty, when I still smoked, I went to the cigarette counter at Woolies, and had some youngster ask me for my driver's license or proof of age card!!!3
