The Emotions of the week that was.
primek
Member Posts: 5,392 ✭
Well what a challenging week this as been.
From my previous post I mentioned depression and how a struggle that has been for me these last fews weeks. Compounded by increasing work loads and also construction work occuring 8 (plus) hours a day in our work area. My job is emotionally exhausting at times supporting people with eduring mental illness and all the challenges that brings.
However this week also saw the devasting news of another beautiful soul taken by breast cancer. I met this young lady during my treatment having been diagnosed with metastatic cancer 10 years after her initial treatment. She was terrified of treatment having had complication first time round, she was scared also what would happen...and myself and another bc sister supported her on the days we shared in that chemo room. At the same time it evoked fears in me of my own bc. She had done it all. She had a bilateral mastectomy. She was fit and thin. She was raising her children into teenage years. Her Drs were so shocked hers had returned. I was devastated to hear of her sudden death this week at the age of 40. She had been well when last seen a few weeks ago. What happened I don't know and probably never will. I was so hopeful she would be one of the ladies 10 plus years with mets and well. I hoped that better treatment was coming up for her. But it wasn't to be.
We can't predict the individual person's course of disease.
This week also saw the loss of a work colleague who left work but 3 weeks ago and has passed due to brain cancer.
At times I feel strong and well and cured. At others I worry about my aches and pains being disease progression. I worry for my family.
I feel at times we are soldiers on a war path being picked off one by one.
Then I take stock and am grateful for current treatments and thankful I am still here and currently am well and getting stronger.
Then weirdly I get a phone call this week that my nipple reconstruction date has been set. 2.5 years since I lost my nipples due to surgery . On one hand I'm excited and on another it feels so trivial against the struggles of others. It will be nice to have all the surgery part completed and close a chapter on this loss.
From my previous post I mentioned depression and how a struggle that has been for me these last fews weeks. Compounded by increasing work loads and also construction work occuring 8 (plus) hours a day in our work area. My job is emotionally exhausting at times supporting people with eduring mental illness and all the challenges that brings.
However this week also saw the devasting news of another beautiful soul taken by breast cancer. I met this young lady during my treatment having been diagnosed with metastatic cancer 10 years after her initial treatment. She was terrified of treatment having had complication first time round, she was scared also what would happen...and myself and another bc sister supported her on the days we shared in that chemo room. At the same time it evoked fears in me of my own bc. She had done it all. She had a bilateral mastectomy. She was fit and thin. She was raising her children into teenage years. Her Drs were so shocked hers had returned. I was devastated to hear of her sudden death this week at the age of 40. She had been well when last seen a few weeks ago. What happened I don't know and probably never will. I was so hopeful she would be one of the ladies 10 plus years with mets and well. I hoped that better treatment was coming up for her. But it wasn't to be.
We can't predict the individual person's course of disease.
This week also saw the loss of a work colleague who left work but 3 weeks ago and has passed due to brain cancer.
At times I feel strong and well and cured. At others I worry about my aches and pains being disease progression. I worry for my family.
I feel at times we are soldiers on a war path being picked off one by one.
Then I take stock and am grateful for current treatments and thankful I am still here and currently am well and getting stronger.
Then weirdly I get a phone call this week that my nipple reconstruction date has been set. 2.5 years since I lost my nipples due to surgery . On one hand I'm excited and on another it feels so trivial against the struggles of others. It will be nice to have all the surgery part completed and close a chapter on this loss.
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Comments
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Oh dear @primek,
So sorry to hear that. It's just awful isn't it. You think you are doing so well and then you hear things like this and that white hot fear grips again for a bit. Great that you are feeling strong and well though. It will be nice to have your surgery done and dusted. 2.5yrs is a long time to wait isn't it?
xoxoxo
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Hello @primek. Oh dear, what an awful time you are having. I do feel for you and hope you can find some positives soon. We all worry about what might be ahead, especially when we hear bad news. You are such a lovely lady. Keep that smile ! Sending you a big hugs. Anne
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@primek what a tough and sad week. Sending u the hugest, squishiest hugs xoxox0
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Hi @primek The ebb and flow of this creek we are all paddling in can really take its toll Bless you for caring for people through their tough processes and yes there are no guarantees in any of this. So sorry for your loss and the edges this has raised to the forefront It never seens to be far away. Praying for a positive outcome through your surgery. Hope you can find space to grieve and breathe. Hugs xo0
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Sorry to hear your sad news
thinking of you
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Thankyou all for your compassion and understanding.0
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@primek thank you for sharing, you are certainly dealing with toooo toooo much at the moment. I hope you have time to rest over the weekend and waiting 2.5 years for nipple reconstruction is just the pits. I'm not the best with words so just wanted to let you know I am sending you hugs. xoxo0
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I am trying to think of something to say but what’s uppermost is to send a big virtual hug and remind you we are here .
We all share this fear of our own mortality especially when we lose someone in our circle . It brings to the surface emotions not far below.We can’t live our lives in fear but we can exercise some caution in how we choose to live it.
I watch as our 77 year old neighbor returns from funerals having lost yet another friend. That is part of the ageing process and difficult but to lose someone younger seems to add a greater poignancy .
All we can do is remember the importance of the day and be grateful we have it. My daily walk goes past our hospital where a friend was in palliative care last December and not a day goes by when I don’t think how much she would have given for one more day.
None of us knows what the future holds but we are the lucky ones - we have that day.
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No words.
Just a gentle hug.
Paula xxx0 -
Hi primek, I agree there are no words....you sound so strong and you are definitely an inspiration to me. Thankyou for sharing, I know that doesn’t help you though...0
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How lovely. A work colleague who read my fb post...which was censured a little to this post...popped round with flowers and a cuppa.
As with lots of things. This too shall pass. X5 -
Hello @primek sorry to hear the news of your loss, take care of you0
