Friday Funnies

cranky_granny

HOW MANY DID YOU GUESS

arpie

arpie

hahahaha ...  I can relate to this!

arpie

I think I'll have to be realistic & 'up it' for next year ..... 

arpie

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend.

In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs such as Cricket, Football, Golfing and Continuous TV.
Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

......................................................................................................

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears.

Don't forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember… over-use of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer. Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.

In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

Keeping_positive1

@arpie that is a scream.... lol....... can't stop laughing.

arpie

OMG .... and the photographer wasn't much smarter, either!  LOL

FLClover

I can’t do this with my left boob though, cos the nipple be gone 😂. 

FLClover

I’ll take a couple, thanks 😁

June1952

If you do one my size I'll take it !!!

arpie

Now THAT is clever ......

A doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired.

At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the doctor was looking through these his eyes grew wide as he realised Grandma had a prescription for birth control pills.
"Mrs. Smith, do you realise these are birth control pills?"

"Yes, they help me sleep at night."

"Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely nothing in these that could possibly help you sleep!"

She reached out and patted the young doctor's knee and said, "Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16-year-old Granddaughter drinks.
And believe me it definitely helps me sleep at night."

arpie

Stinking hot today ..... wouldn't mind having ice cream in the freezer .... haha

arpie

Follow me for more tips ....

arpie

FLClover