Friday Funnies

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  • cranky_granny
    cranky_granny Member Posts: 776
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    HOW MANY DID YOU GUESS




  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,742
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    May be an image of one or more people and text that says Never forget you are someones reason to smile and youre probably somebodys reason to drink too AUNTY ACID 2020 aunty acid
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,742
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    hahahaha ...  I can relate to this!

    May be an image of text that says Ive been in bed for 20 minutes and Ive just remembered only came upstairs for a pen
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,742
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    I think I'll have to be realistic & 'up it' for next year ..... 
    May be an image of text that says MY GOAL WAS TO LOSE 10 POUNDS THIS YEAR ONLY 15 TO GO gb GrowingBoldercom
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,742
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    Dear Tech Support,

    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend.
    In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs such as Cricket, Football, Golfing and Continuous TV.
    Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.
    What can I do?
    Signed, Desperate
    ......................................................................................................
    Dear Desperate,
    First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears.
    Don't forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember… over-use of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer. Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
    Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.
    In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.
    Good Luck,
    Tech Support
  • Keeping_positive1
    Keeping_positive1 Member Posts: 555
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    @arpie that is a scream.... lol....... can't stop laughing. :)

  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,742
    edited December 2021
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    OMG .... and the photographer wasn't much smarter, either!  LOL


  • FLClover
    FLClover Member Posts: 1,554
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    I can’t do this with my left boob though, cos the nipple be gone 😂. 
  • FLClover
    FLClover Member Posts: 1,554
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    I’ll take a couple, thanks 😁
  • June1952
    June1952 Member Posts: 1,882
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    If you do one my size I'll take it !!!
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,742
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    Now THAT is clever ......

    A doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired.
    At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the doctor was looking through these his eyes grew wide as he realised Grandma had a prescription for birth control pills.
    "Mrs. Smith, do you realise these are birth control pills?"
    "Yes, they help me sleep at night."
    "Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely nothing in these that could possibly help you sleep!"
    She reached out and patted the young doctor's knee and said, "Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16-year-old Granddaughter drinks.
    And believe me it definitely helps me sleep at night."
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,742
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    Stinking hot today ..... wouldn't mind having ice cream in the freezer .... haha


  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,742
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  • FLClover
    FLClover Member Posts: 1,554
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