Are you a breast cancer survivor who happens to be childless?
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Loving these posts! I hope we are being monitored, in fact I am going to contact one of them and ask for feedback. This post has opened up so many issues and so interesting to read. I think I am due for my B12 shot as my memory as I believe left with the chemo bus also suffers when my B12 levels are low lol, so bare with me until tomorrow!
@annsan Your comments are gold and I was thinking of asking @jena if she had a couple spare supporters to share as well! @arpie I have jewish blood but the expectation of children wasn't that strong in our family but then I didn't get to meet my grandmother. I hope your trip to oncologist goes well today. And @annsan hope you got to sleep in the end.
We do need our own group I believe, not sure what we should call it however, seems we have attracted a few different situations needing support, this can only be a good thing......3 -
Don't know if separate groups ultimately benefit all parties. I mean, even in this group we have men and women, straight and gay, those with children and those without. Those two groups can be further divided by those with supportive children and those with ratbags. Then in the childless camp, those thus by choice and those by circumstance. There are those who have chemo and those who don't. Ditto radiotherapy. Those who have surgery and those who don't...again the first subdivided into lumpectomy, one boob and two boobs. The difference between us all is great on so many levels, but the things which unite us are far greater. We all have or have had breast cancer. We are all individual, both in our bodies and our souls. We all bleed red blood. We all feel the same responses to being made to feel different or not included. If we all end up in a multitude of separate groups, how will we understand and thus support those in other groups? I think free and diverse discussions such as this one openly air the concerns that some smaller demographics may have. Knowledge makes us more powerful, whereas ignorance of certain conditions or facts doesn't.
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@arpie I too wish you luck with your appointment at the Oncologist. If you are comfortable in doing so, please let us know how it went. Thank you @Janet A, I did eventually fall asleep but it took awhile and please pass on to us any feedback that you hear of. My memory caught the chemo bus too, I hope it finds its way home once I have finished the treatment. It's great that we can be a member of this group and also be involved in other groups on here. I have finally managed a shorter comment....must be sleep deprived!
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Hi @Janet A, just reading your posts. I too am childless a bit by choice, timing & finding the right partner to have them with. I've been to several seminars & never felt separate because of being childless, but have felt isolated because I have no 'significant other'. I am 10yrs since initial diagnosis of stage 4 bc & am 18mths since diagnosis of metastatic lung cancer & 6mths since bone cancer diagnosis. My cancer is genetic (BRCA 2) & most women in my family have been diagnosed with breast cancer & all except for me, have produced multiple babies & breastfed. When I was first diagnosed, the 'chatter' then, was breast cancer could be related to early periods (11yrs or younger) and the use of the contraceptive pill. All research helps, keep up the good work2
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Hi @bronmeg1 this discussion really has opened a can of 'worms' in instances. It has opened a discussion nonetheless which I think is a good thing. The descriptions of your family members do blow my thoughts out of the water, doesn't it?
My gynae said if HRT gave you cancer everyone who took would have it, a true statement I guess.
Thank you for sharing your story xx1 -
@Giovanna_BCNA @Sister @AllyJay @Janet A @annsan @kmakm
And it is Letrozole for me!! Surprising .... as only Tamoxifen had been mentioned up til now. I'll be reading up on Letrozole now instead of Tamoxifen! This one compares the two ....... being 65 in a week or so - and VERY post menopausal .... (with 10 years of really SHIT menopause symptoms finally finishing 10 years ago - I started at 45 .....) it will be very interesting to see how I go with the hot flushes & other symptoms specifically raised with the Letrozole ...
https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa052258
I had my bloods done end of last week - and my Vit D & everything else is pretty good, but my cholesterol wasn't 'terrific' - so I need to go back onto statins again (I'd taken myself off if during radiation ... so now have to go back onto it!
Not THAT happy as I didn't like the 'memory defects' the statins gave me - but accept that it will be better for me long term to be back on it, given how the AIs may affect me! )
I'll be having a bone density test done over the next 6 weeks before my next Onc visit ......
Interesting that you mention Vit B12, @Janet A - as mine was rather low last year & I am now on 3 monthly injections. My other half is also on it, as he can't 'make it' any more after the removal of most of his stomach in 2010 from stomach cancer .... so we are Vit B12 twins now! Hopefully one day, we'll be able to co-ordinate our injections! So far .... they are different dates!
Many thanks for your interest in my 'journey' ... not that I really 'like' that term ...... but I also don't like 'battle' that much either!! What a ditherer!!! LOL
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@AllyJay you have nailed it.
Private groups do provide opportunities for members to drop the avatars with the knowledge that only those in the group can see the post. I think we sometimes forget that anyone anywhere in the world can come n here as a guest and view our discussions.
I think BCNA has done a decent job of setting up groups. Several dont have much going on. We can set up PM threads to connect with those we identify with. Over all, public conversations, like this one, do a bloody good job of raising awareness and making us all think about the diversity of people affected by the disease. Marg4 -
Very good point @Zoffiel, I didn't realise by posting a question that these issues would be raised as well.
This highlights how isolated we feel if we deviate from the 'track' of so called normality of society. I support poking my finger at the norm to raise awareness that we are all different and we do matter even though we may be in the minority.1 -
Janet A said:I support poking my finger at the norm to raise awareness that we are all different and we do matter even though we may be in the minority.
So do I, @Janet A you have broken new ground here and that is a wonderful thing for all of us. You deserve to fly the banner
Time for us to stand up and be counted perhaps?
Zoffiel said:@AllyJay you have nailed it.
I think BCNA has done a decent job of setting up groups. Several dont have much going on. We can set up PM threads to connect with those we identify with. Over all, public conversations, like this one, do a bloody good job of raising awareness and making us all think about the diversity of people affected by the disease. Marg
Well said, @Zoffiel. Already we have 6 pages of women contributing to this topic because they have/had breast cancer and don't have children. So, I would like to think that in a small way we are already achieving something. If just one person here has felt some connection to another or can relate to a comment spoken, then already we are gaining strength and helping each other. I know that I felt as if I "belonged" to something the moment I read the heading "Are you a breast cancer survivor who happens to be childless". Regards, Ann2 -
@Jantet A Thank you for posting the link to this very interesting article. I followed the steps (including loading a dodgy photo of myself) to create a group of childless women in Brisbane. I named it "Breast cancer and childless". After following the required steps, it asked me for money n USD. Whilst I enjoyed reading the article about Jody Day and the fact that she too is childless (as far as I know she does not have BC) and is getting world recognition for her circumstance, I was a little thrown about having to give money. I realise that virtually nothing (except this forum) is free. To the best of my knowledge, I was signing up to be part of a group of women world wide that are childless for whatever reason. I liked the idea of starting a group in my own city but I draw the line at financial contributions. Apart from the fact that I am not in a position to contribute (on chemo unable to work) I don't think it is appropriate when all I was trying to do was meet up with people in the same situation as myself. Having said that, there are some very interesting and well written articles there. I am curious if anyone else followed the link and if so what did they think of it? Regards AnnJanet A said:This might be an interesting read for some.....
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/oct/02/the-desire-to-have-a-child-never-goes-away-how-the-involuntarily-childless-are-forming-a-new-movement1 -
You could always do you own facebook group and I'm sure there's other tech ways for the same thing. (Personally, it sounds like this Jody bird has worked out a great way to make some money)2
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Yes, @annsan I also stopped when it said to pay up, I don't believe in that either. Jody has a facebook page but plugs away at selling conferences etc, another I am a member of is called something a rather I can't remember, but a lot of complaining and little positive solutions offered on there.
i have been thinking of starting a blog but wondered how it would go. This bc thing certainly smashes your self confidence and I have little or no support where I am, was seeing a psychologist through the cancer council but they had cut backs so that has been withdrawn. I called my breast care nurse about if she had known any other women like me in the community and if she knew the statistics on the link between childlessness and bc, she got a little hostile over the query which really had me confused because normally she is so fantastic with everything...I am reluctant to call her back to see if there are other places. I feel like its a round round rosey in trying to find support or someone to talk with, drives me a little nutty some days. My dogs do a great job in listening! They all think I am doing a woes to me but I'm not! If I can get some support then I can offer it to someone else who is in the same boat as me as I like to help others, I volunteer at Breastscreen on call back days, mostly I have the women in stitches instead of tension of waiting for each test during the afternoon.
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