Tomorrow is day
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Hang in there Bowie, we are all here, I too spoke to my Mum alot who has also passed and yes it brings tears too for many reasons. Ok out of left field..something I used to do is call in ArchAngel Michael, he's a protector and in my darkest moments Ive called on him to comfort and protect and it helps. x Just keep reassuring yourself that you will be ok, you will get through and once through it you'll be amazed at yourself. x1
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I got through the lumpectomy ok and that was3 weeks ago . L suppose l was not expecting all this but l am very lucky that the scans and bone scan all came back clear ...it had only spread to the lymph but then all that freaks me out as they are taking them out as well the drain tubes freak me out , yes lm am a nervous person before all of this ..l want to be Joan of arc ..plus l don't heal very quickly ..yes l give myself a hard time but l can't help it ..l no lm luckier than a lot ,,but lm struggling
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Bowie its so normal to be struggling, I too was a nervous wreck, honestly the drain tubes I found this time were nothing, I didnt have a problem at all. Its ok to not be strong too, youre human, its hard but just focus on whats at hand. So what are you doing tonight? a hot cup of something? Im about to make a Green Tea!0
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I'm eating mentors lollies ..l will have acup of black tea ..l have had some pumpkin seeds .a glass of sustain .and maybe some toast later ..My nausea has settled a bit ..stopped crying feeling really strong again ..but accept if l burn and crash again ..l love this site and all of you for making feel human loved and understood xxx1
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Hi Bowie just wanted to wish you well. I find hot chocolate a soothing evening drink. For me I was in hospital the night before mastectomy. Once in the hospital environment and sentinel node biopsy done and visit from Breast care nurse with a bag of goodies including the Berlei bra I became relaxed. They got me up early as I was first.
Honestly you'll be fine and there are others on here thinking of you and sending good vibes.
Take care sending you a virtual hug xx
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Well that's great! The more settled you are the better you will feel. Sure if you burst again who cares! Let it out, but know we understand and will be with you in spirit tomorrow, so try shutdown and sleep tonight. Xx0
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Hi @Bowie, I woke up at 2am the morning of my mastectomy with a horrific migraine and couldn't get back to sleep. By the time I was on the operating table waiting for the surgeon to scrub in I was so exhausted both mentally and physically that I decided to shut my eyes to see if I could lessen my migraine and I fell asleep before they'd even given me the pre med!!! Woke up and it was all done!!! Sensational!!!! I think the best thing I have read is that to get through the surgery all you have to do is turn up, the doctors and nurses and anaesthetist are your team making sure you are okay - you are NOT alone, we are also there in spirit cheering you on. Tomorrow night , cancer free - how good is that!! Don't beat yourself up for being scared, upset and human!!! Wishing you all the best. Big hug. Xx Cath1
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hello Bowie, the waiting is so hard and we have no control over time. We've all been where you are and truly understand everything you are feeling. Cry if you need to cry, no-one will judge you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a melt down. Try to get some sleep tonight, there will be a lot going on tomorrow. You'll be in good hands, I know the thought of surgery is frightening but trust your team of specialists. I had a left mastectomy and immediate implant last August and once in theatre, I literally blinked and it was over.
Wishing you all the best for tomorrow, you will be taking all our thoughts with you. Jane xx
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Hi @Bowie - there is nothing that anybody can say or do that will help erase your shock, pain, confusion, anxiety & fears.
The only thing that is normal about a bc diagnosis is that there is no normal at all - what & how you are feeling is perfectly ok for you. Sure, you may not feel OK and feel as though you can't cope & don't have the strength.
Try not to think about tomorrow, next week, next month.
The best piece of advice that I was given was to breathe - long, deep breaths. At least 10 of them.
I found myself doing this after diagnosis; before surgery; before scans. I still do it now - at night; walking along a corridor at work.
Bowie we are not warriors - I can assure you. Like your Mum I have had a bc diagnosis 3 times and it shakes you to the core each and every time. It does not get any easier.
In some respects it is out of our control but you can gain some control back by speaking about it - you said you did not develop a good rapport with your breast care nurse. Perhaps you can ring BCNA on 1800 500 258 and ask to have some telephone counselling.
I did and found that it made a difference and I was recommended to contact and speak with a psycho-oncologist (somebody who specifically deals with patients or loved ones who have been diagnosed with cancer). I had about 6 one-on-one sessions. You may be able to get information through the Cancer Care Centre where you are having your treatment.
Also I found to ask lots of questions whenever I had an appointment. Before each appointment I would write down a list of questions. I would only google certain sites - this site and Cancer Council.
My very best wishes to you & virtual hug for tomorrow.
Sheryl
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Hi @Bowie I had a double mastectomy with node removal on the 9th of March. I went through all the feelings you have been feeling but I felt them, reacted then let them go and did not revisit. I turned my focus onto the fact that this surgery is saving my life. That when I wake up from this surgery I am cancer free. This is the first step to a cancer free future. When I did wake up after surgery I literally could not believe how well I felt. Remember when they remove the breasts they remove all the breast tissue which means they also remove all the nerves in the tissue so you actually have no feeling so no pain. I was off the big pain killers by the second day.
With regards to being on your own I am surrounded by people my husband, 2 small children, my parents and friends but still feel very lonely and alone at times. It seems to be the nature of the beast so don't let that cause you any extra anxiety. I promise you that you will be ok and by this time tomorrow it will all be over and you are one step closer to being cancer free. Stay positive you can do this! Sending big love and strength to you. I am a few weeks ahead of you and actually have my first chemo session tomorrow so we can keep each other going on this shit journey! Xxx1 -
All the best today Bowie! Thinking of you! xo M0
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@Bowie. I remember when I was pregnant all those years ago being terrified of giving birth. I'd walk around looking at people trying to get it into my head that for every person I saw, someone had to do the thing that was freaking me out.
It was a bit the same when it came to the mastectomies. I knew there were a shit load of people out there who had dragged themselves into hospital, lay on the trolley and said 'Do' it.'
For me, the node procedures caused more anxiety than the loss of my breasts. I know why that was, but the uninitiated think you will be more concerned about your appearance.
I think your daughter is right, your brain will accept the changes. I used to do most of my crying in either the shower or the car, and I've done more of it before any procedure than I have after. I've had my share of grief, but I've not missed those tits. They were the cause of many problems over the years (they were spectacular) and in the end they were going to kill me.Good luck. Marg.2 -
Thinking of you @Bowie and sending a hug.
Jane xx0
