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Depression over Mets
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@Marianne63 sorry to hear that you are feeling a bit down and depressed but hoping you are feeling better soon. I understand the grief of loosing a beloved pet and sometimes it's too much to deal with when you have other things going on in your life.
I used to work at RSPCA and their shelters often have wonderful loving affectionate cats looking for homes, especially at this time of year. If you are not too keen on a kitten, there are usually a lot of adult cats available for adoption that often getting overlooked for the cute playful kittens. I must admit, there were times were I fell in love with some adorable older animals there and it took all my strength not to bring them home with me (not to mention my husband would have killed me if I had
) and I would often be so exited when someone came an inquired about my favourite animals and wanted to adopt them. Good luck with everything and I hope you find a loving companion to comfort you on the next part of your journey xx
Rochelle0 -
You sound perfectly normal to me. Some pets are just special and we do grieve more over some than others. Count yourself fortunate you had one of those really special ones. They aren't all like that.0
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Hi Marianne, You've had so much to deal with. Each thing by itself is daunting let alone all together. I had a dog for 19 years that I had to have put down as her body was starting to fail her in a big way and I couldn't bear watching her in pain. The grief was huge and I never wanted another pet. I did however agree to look after my niece's little Australian terrier when she was travelling and despite my best attempts to remain neutral that little dog wormed its way into my heart with its incredible personality. It made me realise I was not being disloyal in any way shape or form to my own beloved dog I was simply opening my heart to a new pet and the happiness that pet gave me. Don't put off getting your new cat because you are grieving - that new cat is waiting to comfort and love you and it has your name written on its heart!!! Xx Cath2
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Awww thanks for your story it touched my heart xx0
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Hi there @Marianne63 - welcome to the online network.
Not the most ideal circumstances to join this forum - none of us really want to be a part of this club but I have found in the 5 weeks since joining there is so much support for everyone.
How you are feeling - no matter what your are feeling - is all OK !
A bit like the song "Four seasons in one day" sometimes I feel a tumult of different emotions and feelings in one day too !
The fact that you said you were so strong and brave initially is testament to the fact that you seem to have been "holding it together" perhaps ? That is exactly what I was doing. After the initial shock you just want to "get on with it". You fight to get through treatment and at the end of treatment it is a bizarre feeling of emptiness (as strange as it all seems).
My moment came about 9 months after diagnosis, treatment, and after we came back from a long awaited family holiday to Uluru. I felt like this was my carrot - I got to it and so "now what" ?
I am so sorry about your beloved cat - obviously you shared a special bond and that you got a lot of comfort from that,
I know that my dog has given me the same - she was on some sort of "hunger strike" when I was in hospital and knew that there was something wrong as I was not around for a few weeks. I think getting another cat is a great idea.
Glad that Jess from BCNA has given you some handy hints and contacts, especially for over the phone support.
I also asked my radiation oncologist to recommend somebody through the Cancer Centre as they work in conjunction with cancer patients and are acutely aware of our unique situation.
My best wishes to you Marianne xxx0 -
Thanks for ur support too. yes I was strong throughout the treatment but now that all seems to be better is when the depression hit and the loss of my cat really topped it off. I find myself in down days where I cry on and off thinking of my cat, whether the cancer will come back especially when I get new aches and pains and I think ' this is not me' but I suppose things will only get better with time. I will definitely get another cat in a few months maybe after xmas and new year is over.0
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Just want to give you a big virtual hug Marianne. You are not normal. I find myself crying on and off like everyone else we are dealing with so much and our bodies are battle weary. I hope you get a new furbaby soon. Sometimes at the end of a day I will cuddle with my puppies in their beds (yes, I litterally get in their beds in the cupboard, cuddling witht them,and it is the peaceful most relaxing time away from reality or any stress in that moment). Pets can really reduce our anxiety and stress. Not sure if anyone here has already suggested it, but it is always worth talking to your GP or specialist about anti-depressants. I have been on them for many years and I find it helps me a lot by taking the edge off and helping me cope better. Hang in there petal, we are all here to support you. xxx
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Thanks for your support. I loved when my cat used to sleep on my bed it used to comfort me especially when he purred. I'll get though this soon I hope but until then it helps that I have so many people on here to lean on.2
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Hang in there lovey it. It can be a rough road but we get through it. I spent a few days booing on the couch too but I had my two Labradors and my cat and they helped heaps. The dogs forced me to get out of the house and exercise which I found really beneficial mentally. I live near the beach so you never get sick of walking on the beach. Try to exercise when you can even if you don't feel like it definitely helped me. I also had a lot of baths which helped me to relax. My daughter works at the body shop and she got me some bath milk to soak in and that made me feel better too. Definatejy get the kitty cat as soon as you can maybe we all can make suggestions for a name for it too1
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Hi Marianne - like others - I agree - you are so not loopy - in fact perfectly normal for what you have endured to date.
I could not be where I am without my clinical psychologist (who I have access to via one of the public hospitals even though my oncologist is at a private hospital). She has played a critical role in the 'virtual support team' that I have appointed around me - including acupuncture, yoga guru (she's in her 70s! and guided me thru 2 pregnancies), pilates, etc. and of course family and a range of girlfriends - all with varying degrees of empathy, intellect and compassion - but collectively this team has been of great support in helping me with the SELF COMPASSION and ACCEPTANCE......!
Welcome to the online forum - and hope all of us continue to shower you with support and encouragement!
Elaine xx1 -
Thanks for the advice n confidence Margie n Elaine. I'm in the process of getting getting a kitty just going through the decision or where. I have good friends to help me through but don't like crying in front of them to me it looks like I'm seeking sympathy which I don't want (even though they may not see it that way) I don't like crying in front of people coz I might not stop lol. As soon as I get my kitty I'll post a pic of it.0
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Cry with your friends that's what they are there for lovey. You would do the same thing for them remember. It's hard to let your friends to see you upset but it does remind you what great friends they are. Looking forward to seeing your kitty soon xx1
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Thats soo cool0
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Do you live near Brisbane ?? My daughters boss breeds rag doll cats I just remembered. Our daughter has one and she named it meatball of all things lol but it's sassy with heaps of personality xx
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this is my temporary cat till I get my real one lol