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Depression over Mets
Hi Everyone, I'm new here and thought I would share my story. I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in November 2012. A lump was removed then 2 weeks later I went back in to get the lymph nodes removed. All went well with the op and all but then a year later another lump was discovered in the other breast so back into hospital to have that removed but no lymph nodes this time. All was going well until February last year when I started getting pain in my back muscles which felt like I'd been doing strenuous exercise and pulled the muscles. I went to have massages which didn't help and I also had injections of saline to relax the muscles which provided some relief but the pain would move from one part of my back to another at different times. I thought enough was enough so I went to have a blood test done and then got referred to my oncologist...then I knew something serious was wrong. She diagnosed mets in the liver and the bones. I was in total shock. I thought this can't be happening. So a few months later I started chemo and things were going well. I was responding well to the treatment, lost my hair, got a wig and I was coping. It's been a year since I stopped intravenous chemo and my hair is growing back nicely. I was on Xeloda for almost a year but was suffering with hand and foot syndrome and they were really red and peeling so the dr has now put me on Navelbine and things are looking up. My hands and feet are getting better and I've found that I can do most of the things I could do before. But lately I have been suffering with depression. I have been crying at all different times of the day. Thinking...... why me...is it going to come back.....how much more of this can I handle. It doesn't help that cat I had for seven years and that was companion since I was diagnosed died suddenly and that has made me oven more sad. Coming home and not having him greet me makes the house seem empty. I have the support of my family but sometimes that's not enough. My cat used to sleep with me on my bed as well. It might sound as if I'm whinging but sometimes you just have to get these things off your chest to make life seem a little easier to deal with. Has anyone else had these feelings of depression or am I the only loopy one???