Letting go of blame - WHY did I get cancer?
I've just listened to BCNA's excellent podcast: What you don't know until you do, and one of the comments there made me want to share something that might bring comfort to anyone wondering “Why me?” When I was diagnosed, I went straight to questioning what I might have done wrong. I think a lot of us do. It’s easy to assume cancer comes from our own doing - e.g. drinking, not exercising enough, or eating poorly. But in my case, none of that fits. I have never smoked or drank alcohol (!), and for decades now I’ve exercised daily and eat a vegetarian/pescatarian diet with no dairy, no processed food, and very limited processed sugar etc. Over the last years, I'm moved to a job that's relatively stress-free and giving me much satisfaction and flexibility. I’m young, healthy, lean, muscly, and don’t carry any of the high-risk genes. And still, I got breast cancer. I’m not sharing this to scare anyone or suggest healthy habits don’t matter. They absolutely do — and I believe they’re helping me now in recovery, physically and mentally, and hopefully they've contributed to having less aggressive cancer type. But I’m sharing it in case it helps some of you lift some guilt. If you’ve been blaming yourself for a glass of wine, skipped workouts, or a part of your diet — please don’t. Cancer is complex, and sometimes it just happens, even when you’ve done everything “right.” Sending love and strength to everyone going through this. *Moderators - pls feel free to remove if not appropriate*
Guilt
Thanks to BCNA and the forum contributors (my new friends). I was diagnosed with IDC this week at 49 and have been 'battling' my emotions rather than sitting into them. That stops now. A couple of family and friends have tried to console me by dismissing my emotions. "Oh, you'll be fine. So-and-so had breast cancer and she's fine." "It's like appendicitis. You'll get it cut out and move on." "With all the advancements in treatment, it's not like it can kill you anymore." "You're not special. Everyone has some form of cancer these days." I was starting to feel guilty for being so emotional. I felt like I needed to get over myself and just deal with it quietly and confidently. I'm lucky I have a supportive husband... and you all!🌱Wednesday Wellness - 03Jun26 - The Impact of Community Strength 💪
One of the most powerful things about being part of our wonderful BCNA community, is that no one has to face breast cancer alone. Whether you’re newly diagnosed, in the middle of treatment, navigating life after treatment, or supporting a loved one, this space reminds us that shared experiences can bring comfort, understanding, and genuine connection 💞 Community isn’t just about being in the same space, it’s about being seen, heard, and supported. It’s the quiet reassurance of someone saying “me too,” the kindness of practical advice from those who’ve been there, and the encouragement that helps carry you through tough days As many of you know well, even small interactions can make a big difference to someone who needs some extra love today 🌟 🏐 A beautiful example of this was last weeks community engagement activity at the State Netball Centre. BCNA staff connected with some of our amazing netball club and association PLAY4BCNA hosts, along with members with lived experience. It was such a warm, uplifting gathering filled with smiles, shared stories, and genuine connection 💞 💖 Moments like this truly highlight the strength and spirit of our community. If you’re looking to connect with others with lived experience in person, don’t forget about the Counterpart Cancer Meet-up Hubs. These gatherings are a great opportunity to meet others who understand, share stories, and feel supported in a safe and welcoming space. You can check online here for upcoming sessions and find one near you 📍 Here in our Online Network, everyone’s story matters 🌟 There is strength in vulnerability and courage in reaching out, whether you’re asking a question, sharing an update, or simply reading along and finding reassurance in others’ words. Let’s continue to; 💕Lift each other up 💕 Celebrate the wins big and small 💕Hold space for the hard moments too You never know how much your words might mean to someone else. If you feel comfortable, share what community means to you or a moment when support made a difference in your journey. We’re stronger together 💪Thank you to the carers of those with breast cancer 💖
‘If you’re not in a good place then it's really hard to look after someone else’ Stuart Diver’s message to those caring for someone with breast cancer is: Prioritise your mental and physical health Access resources like BCNA’s My Journey which offers personalised information What tips do you have for caring for someone with breast cancer? Let us know in the comments. If you aren’t sure how to support someone in your life with breast cancer or you need help navigating your role as a carer, you can call our free and confidential Helpline for information and support on 1800 500 258 between Monday- Friday 9am – 5pm.New grade 1 diagnosis
Hello. I’ve just been diagnosed: left breast invasive ductal, grade 1, hormone receptor-positive, HER2-negative. GP summary is that this is a low-grade hormone-positive breast cancer that can be successfully treated usually with lumpectomy then radiotherapy. I’m seeing a surgeon next week and feel relieved that this has been caught early. That said, I’m not looking forward to the next few months and am wondered if there is anyone else at a similar starting point - or people who’ve been down a similar road and can share advice and support. I’m 59, live in Sydney, work full time in a high pressure job, and am a single mum with a teenager at home. Thank you
Looking for IVF specialist who knows menopause/tamoxifen
Hello! First time poster here. I was diagnosed with triple positive BC in 2022. We welcome our first baby born via surrogacy in 2023 but have one more embryo that I’m going to transfer myself because I’ve had 2.5 years on tamoxifen and no sight of reoccurrence. My Oncologist said okay yesterday! I am hoping to find an IVF specialist in Australia- preferably Bris that has dealt with my situation before - medical menopause and 2.5 years tamoxifen. Has anyone heard of a doctor like this? I’m happy to do Telehealth. My current doctor is Tiana Ernst at City Fertility Brisbane (where our embryo is) who is lovely but want to be sure I research for our best chance. Thank you!
Feeling angry
I have recently been diagnosed and had a lumpectomy last Thursday. I’m feel fine not overly sore but tired. Mine was picked up on a mammograms so early and I’m very grateful and know how lucky I am. I’m ok with diagnosis 1 in 7 my turn. The issue is I’ve been through so much recently and I’m finding myself angry. Well the last 2 days. 2 knee replacements, fibromyalgia, depression, late adhd diagnosis at 62, mum with dementia I’ve had to put into care, I sold her house without her knowing which is heart breaking - no help from siblings and that just this year. Lol. I had a breakdown a few years ago through work, got divorced, my dog died and I burnt my nachos the other day. A bit of light relief. There is more but that will do. I’m exhausted keeping a lid on everything. I’ve spoken to my psychologist who suggested Emdr. I’m by myself and just so angry. My kids have their own lives and basically my safe place is my home (with a massive mortgage) and my dogs. I had started a wonderful new business but have had to put that on hold until I find out what happens next. Which is next Monday. This is not a why me post it’s a is it normal to be angry. Not all the time but it’s scathing and my dogs have heard some words that I have never mentioned before. I’m not really good at asking for help. And was disappointed with the support I received with my knee replacements so reluctant to go through that rejection again. I think maybe it’s the lack of control, not knowing where we go from here. Again I know how lucky I am and whatever treatment (looks like radiation and hormone therapy and possibly another op and chemo if it’s travelled) I will gladly do and be thankful. I guess I’m just bewildered and have no idea what’s normal and whats not. And if I’ve honest I’m teary too. Ok I feel lonely and unsupported as well.Counterpart Peer Support Hubs (VIC)
As many of you know, the organisation Counterpart (support for women with cancer) host regular peer support hubs in Melbourne and Geelong. For those who already find these workshops an important part of their journey, and for anyone who hasn’t discovered them yet but might be curious, the following is for you. ✨ The Melbourne Peer Support Hub and phone service reopened on Monday 12 January 2026, providing a space for conversations, information, and connection for those who choose to attend or reach out. In Geelong, the first peer support hub session of the year will take place on Tuesday 24 February. Anyone interested in joining a session or finding out more information can get in touch to learn about what’s available on their website here. There is also planning underway for another regional peer support hub to open later in 2026, with more details expected to be shared as the year progresses. ✨Their in‑hospital program known as Bridge of Support will resume services at several hospital locations: Sunshine Hospital from Wednesday 4 February Royal Melbourne Hospital, Royal Women’s Hospital, and Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre from Thursday 5 February These sessions create opportunities for people going through treatment to speak with trained peers while at hospital. Events and Activities Coming Up in 2026 Counterpart also offer a number of free online activities and events throughout the year, including: A new round of Yoga4Cancer sessions An online Meditation and Mindfulness session A webinar focused on Communicating with young people about cancer: a Canteen perspective A Morning Tea for women living with metastatic/advanced cancer Whether these workshops have been a steady companion for you, or you're hearing about them for the first time and wondering if they might help, we hope this update is useful. You’re warmly encouraged to get in touch with Counterpart, join a session, explore something different, or simply connect with someone walking a similar path. As always - please reach out if you have any questions we can help with!Emotional speed bumps
Hi, I'm trying to figure out how to prepare for life post-mastectomy. I got my diagnosis a week ago and have been managing well, but then I tried to join a FB group for people going flat and got hit hard by a gatekeeper question. The question was something like, "Have you had a mastectomy?" Options: 1. Yes 2. No, but I'm looking at my options 3. No, but I am supporting a loved one who has. The curious thing is that I felt completely left out by this option list. I wanted the option: No, but I am about to. I got all teary and had to write about it. Funny what sets us off. Anyway, I would love some tips about clothes to wear during recovery that are easy to manage and don't make me stand out.WHO do I tell?
I was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer 2 weeks ago and had a lumpectomy with sentinel node biopsy last week. I’m recovering , but figuring out support has been tricky. I’m single, with a small close circle — amazing women who are already doing what they can, but they’re busy and going through a lot themselves. I know I need more help, but the next layer of friends includes people who always overshare others private news. I’m hesitant to open up, even though some of them might be able to support me practically. I also love my privacy, alone time I'm not good at asking for what I want/ need - and so far have managed. So I’m a bit stuck between needing more help and not being sure who I feel safe relying on. Has anyone else struggled with this? How did you decide who to tell or lean on — especially when trust or privacy was a concern? Should I even worry about privacy - would it be so bad if the whole world knew...? I prob feel it might from romantic and future job perspective... Thank you in advance!
