Letting go of blame - WHY did I get cancer?
I've just listened to BCNA's excellent podcast: What you don't know until you do, and one of the comments there made me want to share something that might bring comfort to anyone wondering “Why me?” When I was diagnosed, I went straight to questioning what I might have done wrong. I think a lot of us do. It’s easy to assume cancer comes from our own doing - e.g. drinking, not exercising enough, or eating poorly. But in my case, none of that fits. I have never smoked or drank alcohol (!), and for decades now I’ve exercised daily and eat a vegetarian/pescatarian diet with no dairy, no processed food, and very limited processed sugar etc. Over the last years, I'm moved to a job that's relatively stress-free and giving me much satisfaction and flexibility. I’m young, healthy, lean, muscly, and don’t carry any of the high-risk genes. And still, I got breast cancer. I’m not sharing this to scare anyone or suggest healthy habits don’t matter. They absolutely do — and I believe they’re helping me now in recovery, physically and mentally, and hopefully they've contributed to having less aggressive cancer type. But I’m sharing it in case it helps some of you lift some guilt. If you’ve been blaming yourself for a glass of wine, skipped workouts, or a part of your diet — please don’t. Cancer is complex, and sometimes it just happens, even when you’ve done everything “right.” Sending love and strength to everyone going through this. *Moderators - pls feel free to remove if not appropriate*WHO do I tell?
I was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer 2 weeks ago and had a lumpectomy with sentinel node biopsy last week. I’m recovering , but figuring out support has been tricky. I’m single, with a small close circle — amazing women who are already doing what they can, but they’re busy and going through a lot themselves. I know I need more help, but the next layer of friends includes people who always overshare others private news. I’m hesitant to open up, even though some of them might be able to support me practically. I also love my privacy, alone time I'm not good at asking for what I want/ need - and so far have managed. So I’m a bit stuck between needing more help and not being sure who I feel safe relying on. Has anyone else struggled with this? How did you decide who to tell or lean on — especially when trust or privacy was a concern? Should I even worry about privacy - would it be so bad if the whole world knew...? I prob feel it might from romantic and future job perspective... Thank you in advance!