Guilt
Thanks to BCNA and the forum contributors (my new friends). I was diagnosed with IDC this week at 49 and have been 'battling' my emotions rather than sitting into them. That stops now. A couple of family and friends have tried to console me by dismissing my emotions. "Oh, you'll be fine. So-and-so had breast cancer and she's fine." "It's like appendicitis. You'll get it cut out and move on." "With all the advancements in treatment, it's not like it can kill you anymore." "You're not special. Everyone has some form of cancer these days." I was starting to feel guilty for being so emotional. I felt like I needed to get over myself and just deal with it quietly and confidently. I'm lucky I have a supportive husband... and you all!
Just diagnosed IDC HR++ Her2 low mulitocal, still awaiting further tests and freaking out!
Hi all nice to meet you all but wish it were under better circumstances. I have just been diagosed earlier this month for a check up that I thought was going to show nothing so I was really thrown. I have a least two 1.5cm lesions and a number of smaller ones they are not sure about yet. Just met with the breast team yesterday for my first appointment. They were all lovely but not much info yet as they need to run more tests. They did two more biopsies of lesions not done initially and also ordered a bone and CT scan as well as an MRI. I was expecting teh MRI as I have Very dense breast tissue. I was not expecting the bone and CT scan, which they said are staging scans, as given the size of the lesions I thought I was considered early breast cancer. She reassured me this was just standard practice for lesions over 1cm but I have been in a tail spin since worrying it is already stage 4. I have a 9 year old son, his dad is completely unreliable and probamatic so does not and will not be living with us anytime soon. I havebnt even told him about it yet as he's not in a potisiton to do anythign right now and it would just cause more stress. I am the sole provider for us and all I can worry about is what happens if I go down. Who pays the mortgage, who puts food on the table. I know this is all way down the line and I keep trying to bring myself back but it's so hard. I am usually a very rational person so this is killing me. My next lot of scans are on Sunday and Monday and my follow up appointment will be a week after that to give them time to review the results and discuss my case before coming up with a plan. On one hand I am terrified it's going to be worse case senario and on the other I am terrified it if is bad news they won't wait until my next appointment and they'll call just before christmas and I'll have to manbage that on my own without ruining my sons day. He's already had to deal with enough of an emotional rollercoaster with his dad I don't want to add more to that. I thought I was doing ok but I'm crumbling. Every ache or pain has me over analysing. I know the waiting is the hardest part. I almost think I would be handling it better on my own as it would be ok to fall apart but I have to stay strong for my son.
Newly Diagnosed WA
Hi, I have just been diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma. I have decided to have a double mastectomy. I live in a regional town in WA so I will be flying to Perth for the surgery. Any advice for preparation for surgery. Will I need propping pillows to sleep post surgery. I am staying in Perth post op for 14 days to allow for the nurse care of drains. Has anyone else done this in Perth?
How did I get here?
Hi everyone, what do I say…I am in shock! I felt it was time I reached out to the community as I’ve been reading all your posts the past few weeks and now I really need support and reassurance. I am 56 and have a wonderful husband and three beautiful 20 something children. I had a routine mammogram in April (12 monthly due to Mum and sister both having BC in the past - both early and doing fine now) and diagnosed on 13 May with invasive carcinoma with micropapillary features, 17mm in size, ER/PR+ve HER2 2+equivaocal from biopsy and ultrasound/3D mammogram. A further weeks wait for HER2 ISH testing which was negative before surgery options were discussed. As I have size G breasts and the lump was apparently so small I opted for WLE with oncoplastic breast reduction as my Mum and sister had both had good outcomes with lumpectomy so I was confident with the reduction they would get good margins. Surgery was performed on 30/5 and I’ve recovered well. Here js the kicker…I went back for the surgery and sentinel lymph node biopsy results and first the surgeon tells me the tumour was 64mm not 17mm! Then he tells me there were mega metastases in the lymph node which was removed. On the pathology report it say ‘the lymph node is almost completely replaced by metastatic carcinoma with similar histological features’. The sentinel node was 28mm. Does this mean I have metastatic cancer? I am reeling…how did they get it so wrong??? And what now? The surgeon has said the next step is an auxiliary dissection which he has booked me in on 30/6 to do…20 days away! He said he needs to wait for things to settle properly after the last surgery with reduction. Meanwhile this cancer is travelling all through me… I am booked in for a PET with CT scan on Thursday which I guess they are looking for more metastases. Should I also be asking for a bone scan? I have not been referred to an oncologist yet, apparently that is after the next surgery but I really don’t understand why they wouldn’t be thinking to get me started on that now rather than waiting even longer. I just can’t comprehend the results I got yesterday. I have so many questions and I just feel like the surgeon is following a routine but I don’t understand why. After a sleepless night of anxiety through the roof I would love some words of advice from this amazing community. Thank you x