Who else can't sleep?

@Sister
and @onemargie
inboxing you both.... 

sister is it very normal to get to this point where you feel you have nothing to say ..... you are tired ... often more than you realise. I retreat in winter a bit as my computer room is freezing as it is all glass room so in Bathurst winters its like a freezer box...... and then my neuropathy plays up with being cold.... ah the joys.... 

I had 6 before they stopped my paxit....  I looked like jumping jackson I shook like a addict on something weird.  I had NO feeling in either my toes or my fingers all the time.... 

I believe IF  it is disappears quickly they like to continue your doses until they negate the risks to long term health. 
Breathe allow the emotions the feelings of nothing to give at the present it will pass but you must look after you ... Now is the time to put you first. 

Hugs 
Soldiercrab

Dear sister, I love your post! I think just by your post you actually are a great support, it allows me to feel bad or deal with feeling bad. Otherwise one starts to feel guilty about not "being a good sport". I find sometimes it is confronting to see all these smiling happy faces especially when one is down at the time. I can relate to your feeling of reading a post and just feeling speechless. Behind every post is so much, and behind every non-post or very short one is even more. Thinking of you....

Big hug @Sister. Head down, bum up. Sucks I know. Keep your eyes on the prize. K xox

@onemargie That's no good! Of course I noticed you weren't about but I presumed it was gala drama. I missed you! So sorry to hear you've been having a difficult time. I hope things turn around for you soon. Kate xox

The nice thing about the site is there is always someone who responds in a sensitive way @sister There are new people all the time, sadly, and many take to the supportive role like ducks to water. I used to always respond to new diagnosis posts, I don't often now--i can't keep track of things so tend to just stick to a few threads. Sometimes we help, sometimes we need assistance. That's the way it rolls.

@onemargie. Thinking of u xoxo

@Sister - good luck for today. I totally get what u mean about the commenting - I have been feeling the same the last week - I just feel drained. 

Managed to sleep a little better last night - still tossed and turned but the hot flushes were not quite as bad, as we the husbands snoring. 

@onemargie I thought you had been riding a wave of action and positivity.  Not sure what's going on for you but thinking of you.  Gaye

Fuck im up again. Haven’t been on for a while up Since 2.30. Got heaps going on.  Don’t want to put it on here though. @Giovanna_BCNA. Perhaps there can be another closed  group started to discuss more private matters and seek opinions. So pleased you got to ring the bell @"Kiwi Angel" Margie xx

I've been up since 4am - awake a lot longer.  I have my worst sleep's the morning of chemo.  I guess I still get anxious about it.  No 7 Paclitaxol this morning.  I can't believe that I'm officially past the halfway mark but I've got to make it to No 9 according to the onc.  Up until the latest treatment, tingling in the fingers and toes has only been during the first few days and it seemed like it was the same this time but it started up again last night so I'm hoping that I don't get derailed.  I'm not sure how fast it comes on when it gets serious, or how serious it has to be before the chemo is stopped.  Much as I hate chemo, I'd be devastated to have come this far and not be able to finish it.

I am so over this all - I can't see the light in much anymore - it's just head down, slog through it.  I know I'm doing well, healthwise, compared to many on this site so please forgive the self-pity.  I will get through it, I know - it's just time.  I'm often finding lately that I read people's posts and I want to respond but cannot find the words, or I do respond and read it back later and think what a poor comment I made.  So, not such great support for others, I'm afraid.  And I'm back to the early days where I really don't want to talk about it when people ask.

Well, this started as a not sleeping post but morphed a bit.  Oh well... I hope most of you are sleeping soundly and catching up on those precious zzzz.  For those who are not, I've got some nice biccies in the tin.