Where is that positive switch?

Hey, nothing is easy about breast cancer. Just keep mooching along 'day by day' and eventually you will come out of the other side. Just hang in there. <3

Getting used to the “new normal” is definately a challenge especially since some people just think you had your surgery and chemo just get over it. Much easier said then done for sure.  I finished chemo in oct 16 and still have my moments but they are less frequent now thank fuck I find keeping busy with work and doing stuff with my charity helps a lot as well as walking my dogs in the morning. Margie xx

@Shorelle I'm currently at the chemo stage and I keep surprising myself by the knowledge that I haven't really accepted what's happening to me, yet.  As so many have said, I think it's just time and no doubt there'll always be a tiny voice in the background.  My aim is to be around as long as I can, as healthy as I can, to be there for my kids (who are currently teens & tweens), and long enough that if anything recurs, the treatments have improved.

@shorelle The pressure to be 'the good patient' is palpable

Putting on the happy face is exhausting also.lol if your up beat all the time l found l got nowhere, when l had a winge l actusly got attention from the family. You know thats one thing l learned but it took me 5 years. Love and hugs adean xx

It took me quite a while after treatment before I could start to think more positively. My bc surgery was the reality of forever changed. Feeling happier  does happen...but I think initially the fear of return sort of dulls down the relief of treatment over  (even though it's nit over really over yet).  So just one day at a time and if you find yourself stuck there feeling down...well a chat to a counsellor can help you back to feeling happier again. Kath x

@Shorelle so many of us know how you feel. I am a nurse working in palliative care, so I know how lucky I am to be now “cancer free” after an exhausting year of treatment, but I’m still pissed off it happened in the first place and by how much it has taken away from myself and my family. I feel like I have to put on a fake smile and be positive all the time for the benefit of those around me so that they don’t worry, but its just exhausting, and sometimes I’m so angry about this shit that I just want to punch something! If cancer was an entity I would take great pleasure in punching it in the face! I have a councillor at my breast clinic who I have seen through my breast clinic that I find benefits me greatly. I see her when I am ‘heavy’ with all of this and need to offload, at least this way my friends and family don’t have to cop it. All the best to you. It is so normal to feel the way you are feeling.

@Shorelle I think it's because it happens so incredibly suddenly and without warning, so its overwhelming and leaves you in a state of shock for quite some time. You then start on your various treatments and are on auto pilot and we actually don't give ourselves enough credit of the complexity of all of this. Physically, mentally and emotionally are so so hard to try and balance because we're busy doing all that we should that it takes time to catch up mentally and emotionally..it really is a process.

The girls are right...so key....Be Kind to you, cut yourself some slack and give yourself some time to digest it all. I don't know I think its just finding peace within yourself to deal with each step as you go in a way that you can manage and just feel ok. I struggled a bit after my 2nd diagnosis but realising emotionally is so complex, so slow and steady and loving me so much more through each step. Really became a day at a time and just acknowledging how I felt in every moment then letting it go. 
 Hugs
xx Melinda 

It is confronting. It took me months to bring myself to say to myself "you have cancer"  I tried it in the shower, and infront of the mirror. Finally I can say it out loud without feeling too shocked.
I still flinch a little when other people, including my husband, say it in conversation.
At first when I told my clients I felt like a fraud, and like I was making it up, it felt so unreal.
I think starting chemo really brought it home for me. 
I am good at just getting on with what I have to do health wise and disassociating myself emotionally from the experience (except when enclosed machines are involved) so perhaps I was doing that.

Thanks ladies.  Acceptance  is the key word. Im still fighting the diagnosis. .