Meltdowns

Hi there

A pathologist once referred to my adventure. At the time, I felt like hitting him. With time, I realised he was right. Not all adventures are fun. Most of us on this one spend a lot of time wanting to go back to normal. Takes a while to realise that nobody goes back, to normal or anything else, we all go forward.

You are possibly in that middle space, wanting what used to be, unhappy with what is, not ready for what will be. It's a hard place to be.

Cancer is a very steep learning curve about embracing what is and looking for the best that can be. Talking to your counsellor is a good start. You are protecting yourself, because you have learned you are vulnerable. Now you have to learn that risk is part of life, and to accept it rather than fear it. It's hard, have patience with yourself. And enjoy things, do one thing that makes you happy or laugh every day. Practice happiness.

good luck.

Hi there

I finished treatment 9 months ago and for me it is like I have PTSD. I had a few meltdowns going through treatment but on a whole I coped pretty well. Now I'm struggling. What the!!!! But the fact is I tried so hard to keep things positive and normal that I never really had time to acknowledge what was happening to me and just how serious my situation was.  I was so busy just getting through what I had to that I never took the time to think about what was happening. I too am finding it difficult to move forward. How can you when it hangs over your head like a dark cloud? I still have checks and appointments every 3 months for two years.  I still have to have scans and mammograms at least every 6 months, I'm tired and struggle physically with the damage that has been done to my body from treatment.  I don't think you can go through something like this and it not have an affect on you and change you. And more to the point I don't understand why others can't see that? It's interesting that we both started this journey in 2014 and seem to be in the same place at the moment. Apart from keeping the lines of communications open with your friends and telling them how you feel, I don't think the is much else we can do but go through it. As for the ones who say we should just get over it, well I tend to explain why I can't get over it and if they can't understand that then that's their problem not mine. I have lost a number of friends since this process began, as have many others. So be it. I don't have time to waste on people who don't care about me the way I cared about them or people who choose not to try to understand. Hang in there. We will get through just like we have everything else. Take care. Karen xox

Morning reading your post is how I have felt. I'm going on to 2 years and every now and then I get overwhelmed with what has happened over the last 2 years. Yes I'm a survivor but I still struggle. I see a phycologist and she has helped alot. I keep a journal, I used to wright in it every day and my phycologist told me to wright 3 positive things every day. I was surprised how much the journal helped . I was also on Tamoxifan and have changed to Arimidex and my emotions are not every where (well not as bad)

We are all in a hurry to get back to normal but it takes time, out bodies and our lives have been turned upside down and it takes a while for it all to heal. My friends tell me all the time not to be so hard on myself so this is my tip for you take carexx

Sometimes it is hard to switch from tiger fighting cancer to a nice domestic pussy cat. Bit by bit you will get there. Hormone treatment can also play a part and make you not quite like your own self. Hopefully you can settle down a bit after the thyroid op. My aunt had one of those and she was just fine but it also took time for her to adjust. Just give yourself a bit more time.