Having one of those days or 2.........

@MelissaD I hear you. I had such plans for 2017 and they all just got pushed to the side and taken over by cancer. I'm someone who is always doing something and never enough time to do it in so it was a big adjustment to rest and let others take care of me. 
For me, I took up exercise with an Exercise Physiologist, and it kept me going. On the days I didn't want to get out of bed, I got up and went to my session and always felt better, even if it just made me so tired I slept the rest of the day, it was a good sleep.
I also signed up for some monthly challenges I found online, one was Mindful May and the other was about minimalising your house. These gave me little mini goals that were achievable so I didn't feel completely useless.
Chemo really takes it out of you and emotionally just drains you. I have found now I have finished chemo I feel much better mentally. The 'Chemo Fog' is not fun, but you will get through it :)

@melclarity - Hi Mel, it's definitely how it feels. I don't like when it gets to the point where my mind feels like it's overloaded and it's all too overwhelming to deal with, then I get scared I'm not going to cope with it all. I'm just thankful that I always have someone always there for me to provide me that comfort or just someone to hold me. Thanks Mel, I think that's what I am going to try out xx

@LisaO Hi Lisa, I am really sorry to read this, can't imagine that would of been a huge shock. I was diagnosed May 18th, so not long after you at all, however I am 30yrs old. I hope the same as well, settling into new normal life for now. It really did happen so quickly, but I guess I'm a way I was glad, I was getting surgery few days later, I just wanted lump out of me for good, though very overwhelming with so much information & with me being so young, honestly every appointment in that waiting room, I was the youngest out of everyone and it was scary. I'd say to mum all the time, gosh I'm the youngest here. I know it's similar to me and how I think, it's good to unload. I have the Journey Kit and it took me awhile to even read it, anything BC I just didn't want to hear or rea, it was just all too much. It really does take up so much space. Everyone on here has been so great. I joined in June before starting chemo but wasn't up to even looking on it, but now I am glad I got the courage to jump on because it does help talking to others and be open with everyone's journey and advice and know that these feelings are normal and everyone has felt like this at some point. I really hope you too find a way of managing your anxiety too. I saw a physiologist at Peter Mac twice before I started chemo but it's a drainer to drive in for 1 hour so I am going to go to Doctors to get the 10 free sessions for someone closer to me, so it's easy to go in and out. Thanks Lisa, all the best to you too.

@MelissaD I relished going to radiation after chemo. I found it so much better than chemo. I kind of enjoyed the daily routine of it. I felt so yuck during chemo, which is why it was hard work to get myself up and out.  If exercise works for you then try some gentle exercise in moderation from what you were doing. Your body needs rest but it will also love a bit of movement and fresh air. Lxx

@MelissaD it's tough going mentally and physically. I found that, during chemo, forcing myself up each day and keeping busy helped keep my mind off things. I have 2 young kids, so this was easy for me. Also, although life is anything but normal right now, doing some 'normal' things helps bring some pleasure & things to look forward to. Go to the movies, have a friend over, or, if youre up for it, get into some gentle exercise. It's all good for you. Just don't over do it & rest when you need to. Of course, distracting yourself is great, but allowing yourself to mull over things, cry& get angry etc is healthy also. Have you thought about seeing a psychologist for some techniques for deal7ng with anxiety? Be kind to youself. You're doing great xxx

@MelissaD all completely normal, I found there were just moments and days through treatment where your mind would focus on the negative than positive. It's just the unknown, I think as your life in a heartbeat was thrown into disarray and so very easily, pulling you out of your routines and putting your life on hold. It's unsettling and then you wonder where you are going, what you are doing. Best thing I found was pull myself back to the moment each time I started to spiral out of control, focus on where I was only, and maybe the next day, that's it. Great idea!!! I have a coloring book and I love it, it's therapeutic, or do the things you enjoy. I love to write, or do puzzles or word finds. Try not to think too far ahead, be self aware and make sure you nurture you, so important through this. Hugs xx

Hi Melissa   I was diagnosed in May, 2 weeks after losing my Mum to Ovarian Cancer.  Im struggling with my thoughts..anxiety and depression.  2 new words that I have never lived with before. Im 52, have always been so on the go..racing against the clock,so active, running my own business, running two houses etc etc.  Now Ive closed my business temporarily and when I look at the clock, I wonder what Ive done over the past hour or so.  Night times Im now awake every night at 3am on the knocker...and I lie awake till 6 or 630am with my heart pounding out of my chest, scared.  I have an amazing husband and family but I know I havnt coped well over the past 2 months.  After a right mastectomy, then back in for axillary clearance..then "choosing" my treatment path...it all happened so quick I feel I havnt had time to really take it all in.  Im scared of the future and scared when I think of the past few months.  I hope in time it will get better and easier to adjust to my new "normal life".  Im hoping to start up my business, on a very part time scale in the next few weeks. I marched myself into my GP last week and now Im off to get help with my depression and anxiety.  I also have a diary, which I started on my first day of diagnosis.  I dont like re-reading it as some of things that have gone through my head have been very dark at times, but it has helped me to "unload". Meditation looks to be also on the cards for me, may as well give it a go!  Things happen so fast with BC, I think thats part of the processing problem.  I am starting to get "glimpses" of normal. Hopefully over time there will be "normal" rather than cancer thoughts taking up so much space.  I can relate so much to your post.  The mind is so powerful and can drag us down so heavily.  Wishing you all the best on your journey, you are not alone.  

@Afraser thanks so much, I know ideally I just want to know so far ahead & think of the treatment finally ending & I think that is also what gets me anxious & then worrying about ok so how do people move on from that..... I guess it's true it's still my life and it's just did a detour for now, that's what my mum says - it's just a bump in the road & something extra we just have to temporarily deal with for the moment. I know I think also that is my issue, thinking what am I going to do a week in advance, not tomorrow but 3 days from now.... as I previously mentioned my routine of work, not going to work during my chemo treatment has knocked me as I feel like I don't know what to do during the day, all this time I am not use too. Thanks for the chat xxx

@EarthWalkerLisha thank you so much, I may take up your idea of colouring in. At least this time round I know I don't have to be so so cautious about leaving the house and it's been good doing that xx

@EarthWalkerLisha I wrote more but didn't post, sometimes I think I just sit and dwell and overthink and feel like I don't help myself by doing that, just because I am scared & wishing it's just a bad dream.