Newly Diagnosed and trying to cope

PV123 said:

Hi @Suzie82
Sorry you had to join this group, you have a lot of support on this network. It sounds like your son is very mature

and responsible.

 Are you able to visit a Centrelink office and try to get an appointment with a social worker to ask them if they can help you.  Please also call up Cancer connect to see if they can point you in the right direction.  It is a scary time for you but please remember many others have gone through this process and come out successfully at the other end.  

Cath62 said:

Hi @Suzie82,

Great advice from all the ladies here. You are not alone here.

It is a big shock for sure. I had a grade 3 cancer cells. It means that they grew quickly so it's termed aggressive but it is not a death sentence. My cancer was 2cm in the right breast. I had a lumpectomy and chemo, radium and now I take tamoxifen. I was diagnosed 30 April and had 4 months of chemo and 19 days of radium. I had nothing in my lymph. 

It is such a ride emotionally and such a shock. Glad you had your friend with you. Support is important. 

A couple of tips from me:
* exercise is great if you can. It really helps on a number of levels. It helped me get through chemo and radium and it helps with the stress and fatigue of it all
* drink plenty water 
* take care of your skin. Chemo is so drying 
* mouth washes with salty water after every meal during chemo and use dental floss to help no mouth ulcers
* prepare a few meals to freeze for when you are not up to cooking 
*ask for help from friends with housework and meals, driving you etc
* learn to mediate or practice mindfulness. It all helps.
* stay in touch with everyone here. We are all at various stages of treatment or beyond and this is a great place for support.

Locksley said:

Hi @Suzie82
Sorry to see you here.  All the advice the ladies have given is great.   It's wonderful you have your son to help and support you.  I wish you all the best with your treatment sending you a hug.   

If you are in Melbourne Peter Mac public hospital has a wig library you can borrow a wig from.  Social workers from hospital can help you.   Do check in with centrelink and make an appointment to chat with a staff member.

I was diagnosed with BC in March 2020.  Husband and I both lost our jobs due to covid in March and April 2020.  I had a lumpectomy.   Lump removed was 52mm and 4 nodes.  All 4 nodes were cancerous.   Then I had a mastectomy with 9 more nodes removed. Total of 9 nodes were cancerous.   I had an aggressive treatment plan.  I have had 6 months of chemo and I start radiation this week.     I found I just took one day at a time.  Rested when my body told me too.  Walked on the days I could and learnt not to beat myself up if I couldnt do any more.   Need to heal.  

Stay in touch with everyone online.    Having a safe place to chat, ask questions or even just to read others stories saved me a lot of tears and grief.   xxxx

Afraser said:

Keeping a journal is another option. It can help keep details of consultations, discussions etc for later referral, as @Zoffiel suggests, but it can also provide a good outlet (and as private as you want to make it) for down days and utter exasperation. Or for recording wins! Reading it back can be a salutary reminder that you have weathered worse, or a pat on the back for how far you have come! Best wishes. 

Zoffiel said:

@Suzie82 I think you are making a good start by documenting what is happening to you, day by day, right from the beginning. We all think the whole business will be seared on our memories forever, but it is concerning how many details we lose. It's a tough ride, and the levels overlap as you get further into it.

I had (and still have) a big folder with a diary in it and sheet protectors to store ALL my test results, appointments, specialist contacts, experiences in hospital. Who was on shift through your chemo/surgery. Who you saw in ED when it all turned to shit. The lot. All the stuff you hope the staff will know if you are admitted to hospital. Or if you have to recall someone's name six months (or sometimes six minutes) after you've met them and explain what they told you to someone who thinks you are high as a kite or deluded.

There is great comfort for some of us, and I suspect you may be one, in keeping track of stuff. As an old librarian who now splits her time between a museum and the building department, I'm a sucker for order when I expect that to be the norm

I still love my folder.14 years after my first diagnosis. I don't drag the original around to every appointment any more, but everything still goes into it.

It's early days, best of luck.  Mxx

Zoffiel said:

@Suzie82 I think you are making a good start by documenting what is happening to you, day by day, right from the beginning. We all think the whole business will be seared on our memories forever, but it is concerning how many details we lose. It's a tough ride, and the levels overlap as you get further into it.

I had (and still have) a big folder with a diary in it and sheet protectors to store ALL my test results, appointments, specialist contacts, experiences in hospital. Who was on shift through your chemo/surgery. Who you saw in ED when it all turned to shit. The lot. All the stuff you hope the staff will know if you are admitted to hospital. Or if you have to recall someone's name six months (or sometimes six minutes) after you've met them and explain what they told you to someone who thinks you are high as a kite or deluded.

There is great comfort for some of us, and I suspect you may be one, in keeping track of stuff. As an old librarian who now splits her time between a museum and the building department, I'm a sucker for order when I expect that to be the norm

I still love my folder.14 years after my first diagnosis. I don't drag the original around to every appointment any more, but everything still goes into it.

It's early days, best of luck.  Mxx

Brownowl said:

Hi @Suzie82 

I was also diagnosed before Christmas and have started chemo already. 

I feel what you are going through and it’s a really crappy time. 

Things I found helpful were to try and take things one day or treatment at a time. I’ve also found reframing the treatment process helps get me through. So I see chemo as a good medicine and a positive experience that is helping me get better. I’m going to try and have some fun with wigs and changing up my look a bit. Also looking forward to getting my free makeup kit. Next chemo I’m taking a self care kit, headphones and Netflix to try and relax a bit. 

It sounds crazy but these are the crappiest days. Once I started treatment I began feeling a bit more in control. I also found these groups to be a great help when I felt a bit wobbly. I also found lots of support once I let family and friends know.

Feel free to reach out and best of luck with everything. You’ve got this. xo

Brownowl said:

Hi @Suzie82 

I was also diagnosed before Christmas and have started chemo already. 

I feel what you are going through and it’s a really crappy time. 

Things I found helpful were to try and take things one day or treatment at a time. I’ve also found reframing the treatment process helps get me through. So I see chemo as a good medicine and a positive experience that is helping me get better. I’m going to try and have some fun with wigs and changing up my look a bit. Also looking forward to getting my free makeup kit. Next chemo I’m taking a self care kit, headphones and Netflix to try and relax a bit. 

It sounds crazy but these are the crappiest days. Once I started treatment I began feeling a bit more in control. I also found these groups to be a great help when I felt a bit wobbly. I also found lots of support once I let family and friends know.

Feel free to reach out and best of luck with everything. You’ve got this. xo