Hi Everyone,I was diagnosed in April with her 2 breast cancer and had a lumpectomy 10 weeks ago. At the time I coped quite well I am 53 and although surprised at the time and shocked I seem to handle it. As I have made the decision not to have chemo and radium and herceptin after a great deal of research on the side affects and statistics it is now I am scared and seem not to be able to cope. For every pain or every time I feel nauseous I get incrediably scared and constantly cannot feel happy anymore. I think I am going to die and seem not to be able to move on. Last week I had a pet scan which was great news it revealed at present no cancer anywhere however this still doesnt seem to make me feel any better. I am wondering if anyone else is in the same situation. I have coped a lot of flack regarding my decision not to do the standard of care treatment most go with and although I feel I have made the best decision for me, I get nervous when most people express their opinion on my decision. Any one out there that maybe is in this situation and I can talk to I am sure would help as I feel I am sinking into a hole I may not be able to get out of and before my diagnosis I was so happy and loved my life I just want to feel secure and safe and desperately want to feel happy again......

Hello Byrnes,I think you did what was right for you.I also have a similar diagnosis as you.My treatment plan was sentinel node biopsy,3 cm early b.C surgery her 2 I was to have 4 chemo,radio ,6 wks then 5 yrs of ( I forgot tab name)Well I have had all of the above up to 3 chemo.Well on the weekend I was so crook,low blood count ulcers tired,I am considering stopping treatment.I don't have family support or any friend near me.I just didn't feel it was all worth it.So I really understand the choices you have made.Do you have a good doc that can listen to you,as I think feeling so overwhelmed is debilitating.Please feel free to talk st any time and Cancer Council have a FREE councilling service.Debza

Hi and welcome it is a tough time when you have to make hard decisions. Unfortunately everyone will have a opinion of your treatment, do you have someone to talk to maybe a counsellor. I have found this helped me alot because I was able to be totally honest.Take care xx

Thank you both for your comments. I organised to talk to a councellor today and hope it helps. I hate feeling so low and sad and I am sure everyone goes through these feelings of being scared and helpless. I feel my family are sick of cancer already and I don't want to burden them with my feelings as the cancer word has been constant in my household since I was diagnosed. But that is the problem I think no one really understands your fear and feelings unless you have had that diagnosis. I have never cried all the time in my life but constantly cry now and just want to feel happy again does that happen eventually please tell me it does. I know I should not have this feeling of anger when I hear people complain of silly things in life, I almost feel like saying Do you have cancer well No so stop complaining of nothing than can be fixed easily. Also the fear of if it will come back or if it is somewhere lurking and I dont know is overwhelming. I have always been a strong person but not anymore, now I feel like a sook and weak.

Hi, sorry to hear you are going through such a sad time. It is a very tough journey and so hard to comprehend all these different feelings. Hope all goes well with a counsellor. I too was thinking that was my next step if my feelings didn't go away. I couldn't stop crying also and feeling sad. Talking to my doctor and also my breast care support ladies I have come out of the blues for now and trying to recover from all this sadness. some days I think I am okay then it hits me again. If we realize we need help with our feelings I think that is the first step. It's so unfair so many ladies are going through all this treatment and surgery . wishing you all the best. Take care. Maz. X

byrnes said: For every pain or every time I feel nauseous I get incredibly scared and constantly cannot feel happy anymore. ... I think I am going to die and seem not to be able to move on ... sinking into a hole I may not be able to get out of ... I have never cried all the time in my lifeBecause of the health issue you're on high alert now, it's natural that every little twinge will have a bigger response than it would have before, suddenly seeming like they could signal something seriously wrong instead of going virtually unnoticed.The thing about anxiety is that it often manifests in physical symptoms, causing pains that make you even more anxious. It's awful stuff, but it passes. But I'm worried about what really sounds like a depression setting in :(. You're worth looking after and I'm really happy you've taken @Debza and @rowdy 's advice and arranged consultation. byrnes said: ... just want to feel happy again does that happen eventually please tell me it does. I can't tell the future, but I can tell you that I've been in this emotional place. It was only for a short while and it felt like an eternity. I've learned a lot about myself and become someone with even more inner strength. I had to go through all the darkness, acknowledge how frail I really was (and am) and accept that it is okay to be sick. What is happening to you is not your fault, at all. I think we all deal with fear of recurrence, and I don't see mine ever going away, but it will definitely become less significant. I will get on with my life, go for my checks, and leave the worrying out because there's nothing I can do. I accept that I cannot control it.byrnes said: I know I should not have this feeling of anger ... Do you have cancer well No so stop complainingWhen I'm browsing Facebook and seeing seemingly endless complaints about things like a show being cancelled as if it's The End Of The World I can't help but think 'oh shut up, grow some perspective' either. I think it just means you're not trivializing your experience and that you're growing new perspectives. I don't believe that there are "should" or "shouldn't" where feelings are concerned - feelings don't listen to reason at the best of times, they just happen and I think you're perfectly entitled to feel any way you damned please. Cut yourself a break! I really hope things start to get easier for you very soon. <3Bluewren said:some days I think I am okay then it hits me again. If we realize we need help with our feelings I think that is the first step. It's so unfair so many ladies are going through all this treatment and surgery. Me too. I've taken two breaks from these forums and one was because my heart would break every time I read something here even though I was coming to get support. I just had to start banning myself when fragile and minimize my time, because it really can get a bit much. I hope you're okay.

feeling super sad and crying all the time

primek
Member
9 years ago
Even when going with the standard treatment we are all scared. I had many nights awake thinking, crying and being fearful of metastases and the thought I could go through all this treatment and the outcome could still be the same. Even during treatment I was secretly worried side effects were csncer returning...not side effects. It does get better. I stopped reading research stuff...that really helped. I started to imagine that I am cancer free and recovering. ..that has also helped. A counselor will help you explore stuff and can make a huge difference. I wish you well. And PS. ..you don't need to tell everyone your treatment choices. It is your body. Just say...I have had treatment for cancer. And you have.
Take Care. Kath x
InkPetal
Member
9 years ago
byrnes said:
For every pain or every time I feel nauseous I get incredibly scared and constantly cannot feel happy anymore. ... I think I am going to die and seem not to be able to move on ... sinking into a hole I may not be able to get out of ... I have never cried all the time in my life
Because of the health issue you're on high alert now, it's natural that every little twinge will have a bigger response than it would have before, suddenly seeming like they could signal something seriously wrong instead of going virtually unnoticed.

The thing about anxiety is that it often manifests in physical symptoms, causing pains that make you even more anxious. It's awful stuff, but it passes. But I'm worried about what really sounds like a depression setting in :(. You're worth looking after and I'm really happy you've taken @Debza and @rowdy 's advice and arranged consultation.

byrnes said:

... just want to feel happy again does that happen eventually please tell me it does.
I can't tell the future, but I can tell you that I've been in this emotional place.

It was only for a short while and it felt like an eternity. I've learned a lot about myself and become someone with even more inner strength. I had to go through all the darkness, acknowledge how frail I really was (and am) and accept that it is okay to be sick.

What is happening to you is not your fault, at all. I think we all deal with fear of recurrence, and I don't see mine ever going away, but it will definitely become less significant. I will get on with my life, go for my checks, and leave the worrying out because there's nothing I can do. I accept that I cannot control it.

byrnes said:
I know I should not have this feeling of anger ... Do you have cancer well No so stop complaining
When I'm browsing Facebook and seeing seemingly endless complaints about things like a show being cancelled as if it's The End Of The World I can't help but think 'oh shut up, grow some perspective' either. I think it just means you're not trivializing your experience and that you're growing new perspectives. I don't believe that there are "should" or "shouldn't" where feelings are concerned - feelings don't listen to reason at the best of times, they just happen and I think you're perfectly entitled to feel any way you damned please. Cut yourself a break! I really hope things start to get easier for you very soon. <3

Bluewren said:
some days I think I am okay then it hits me again. If we realize we need help with our feelings I think that is the first step. It's so unfair so many ladies are going through all this treatment and surgery.
Me too. I've taken two breaks from these forums and one was because my heart would break every time I read something here even though I was coming to get support. I just had to start banning myself when fragile and minimize my time, because it really can get a bit much. I hope you're okay.
Bluewren
Member
9 years ago
Hi, sorry to hear you are going through such a sad time. It is a very tough journey and so hard to comprehend all these different feelings. Hope all goes well with a counsellor. I too was thinking that was my next step if my feelings didn't go away. I couldn't stop crying also and feeling sad. Talking to my doctor and also my breast care support ladies I have come out of the blues for now and trying to recover from all this sadness. some days I think I am okay then it hits me again. If we realize we need help with our feelings I think that is the first step. It's so unfair so many ladies are going through all this treatment and surgery . wishing you all the best. Take care.
Maz. X
Sam09
Member
9 years ago
Thank you both for your comments. I organised to talk to a councellor today and hope it helps. I hate feeling so low and sad and I am sure everyone goes through these feelings of being scared and helpless. I feel my family are sick of cancer already and I don't want to burden them with my feelings as the cancer word has been constant in my household since I was diagnosed. But that is the problem I think no one really understands your fear and feelings unless you have had that diagnosis. I have never cried all the time in my life but constantly cry now and just want to feel happy again does that happen eventually please tell me it does. I know I should not have this feeling of anger when I hear people complain of silly things in life, I almost feel like saying Do you have cancer well No so stop complaining of nothing than can be fixed easily. Also the fear of if it will come back or if it is somewhere lurking and I dont know is overwhelming. I have always been a strong person but not anymore, now I feel like a sook and weak.
rowdy
Member
9 years ago
Hi and welcome it is a tough time when you have to make hard decisions. Unfortunately everyone will have a opinion of your treatment, do you have someone to talk to maybe a counsellor. I have found this helped me alot because I was able to be totally honest.Take care xx
Debza
Member
9 years ago
Hello Byrnes,I think you did what was right for you.I also have a similar diagnosis as you.My treatment plan was sentinel node biopsy,3 cm early b.C surgery her 2 I was to have 4 chemo,radio ,6 wks then 5 yrs of ( I forgot tab name)Well I have had all of the above up to 3 chemo.Well on the weekend I was so crook,low blood count ulcers tired,I am considering stopping treatment.I don't have family support or any friend near me.I just didn't feel it was all worth it.So I really understand the choices you have made.Do you have a good doc that can listen to you,as I think feeling so overwhelmed is debilitating.Please feel free to talk st any time and Cancer Council have a FREE councilling service.Debza

Forum Discussion

feeling super sad and crying all the time

Related Content

Still crying

DCIS - normal feelings?

How should I feel

Feeling scared and just a bit angry

I am scared and feel lost

Recent Discussions

Triple Positive HER2+

Alone in Melbourne newly diagnosed

Here we go again...

Newly Diagnosed with an early stage right breast cancer. Need your support and experience please

Newly diagnosed

Disclaimer:

Foundation partner	Major partners