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Secondary breast cancer

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  • Klea
    Klea Member Posts: 84 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Im hearing you girls too re october sucess. I feel rotten as I am jealous. I went straight to secondary and didnt even get the chance to do the first fight!. This makes me angry yet i know its crazy as this anger gets me nowhere but it is what it is . I too live in fear of my beautifull girl who is 8 losing her mum. This really stinks.

  • Deb F
    Deb F Member Posts: 41
    edited March 2015
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    I turned 40 in June.
  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Member Posts: 44
    edited March 2015
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    I can't believe there are so many of us! And I now don't feel so alone in my age bracket (under 40). It really is reassuring to hear of so many of you that are by far outliving the absurd time frames that docs give us. If any of you aren't a part of the special 'advanced breast cancerous' I urge you to all join this group, it is really beneficial for us all to air our fears and hopes with people that really do understand xxxx
  • mum2chloe
    mum2chloe Member Posts: 30
    edited March 2015
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    Hi, welcome max1ebob

    I had ebc in 2002 at 28yrs of age, May 22nd 2012 I was diagnosed with metastatic liver cancer at age 38, after being admitted to hospital with terrible headaches, chills, and vomiting I was found to have a bacterial blood infection septaceamia, upon running tests they found my secondaries, one lucky lady that I got sick.

    There are lots of us here now, nice to see chrismelb (waves) coffee time again soon?

    All the best
  • Amy
    Amy Member Posts: 233
    edited March 2015
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    I was 40 when diagnosed. Now 43. Diagnosed with mets from the start. Good to be positive but like others say. Important to let the grief out too. I hope they find a treatment that works for you for a long time. X
  • Amy
    Amy Member Posts: 233
    edited March 2015
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    I was 40 when diagnosed. Now 43. Diagnosed with mets from the start. Good to be positive but like others say. Important to let the grief out too. I hope they find a treatment that works for you for a long time. X
  • LLS
    LLS Member Posts: 22 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    hi Deb,your story of how to tell the children really resonates with me. I was 45 when I was diagnosed,mets from the start. at the time my children were 13, 8 and 5. I had no idea what to tell them. I was lucky though. My surgeon referred me to a wonderful Breast Care Nurse who was able to give me a really good idea about how to start the conversation, what the likely questions would be and guidance on how to answer.I didn't want to know my prognosis at the time but have since found out it was, let us say, rather poor. 5 years on we all  live, reasonably well,  with Mum's new "normal". We have hiccups of course but my psychologist, bless her, listens and offers advice, as does another Breast Care nurse I have maintained contact with. One of my children formed a good relationship with a counsellor at school and has been able to check in there when things are tough. Its not an easy path we have and I dont want to make it seem like it is. This is just what I have found helpful for us.On the financial side I have recently been referred to the Cancer Council which can sometimes help with a referral to a financial planner. Maybe that could help with your worry about the mortgage. That must be such a scary thing for you on top of everything else.Good luck with it all. No question it would make you furious, anxious, etc etc becaue membership of this particular club is not exactly one with queues of people waiting to join. Take care and be kind to yourself. LLS

  • LLS
    LLS Member Posts: 22 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    hi Deb,your story of how to tell the children really resonates with me. I was 45 when I was diagnosed,mets from the start. at the time my children were 13, 8 and 5. I had no idea what to tell them. I was lucky though. My surgeon referred me to a wonderful Breast Care Nurse who was able to give me a really good idea about how to start the conversation, what the likely questions would be and guidance on how to answer.I didn't want to know my prognosis at the time but have since found out it was, let us say, rather poor. 5 years on we all  live, reasonably well,  with Mum's new "normal". We have hiccups of course but my psychologist, bless her, listens and offers advice, as does another Breast Care nurse I have maintained contact with. One of my children formed a good relationship with a counsellor at school and has been able to check in there when things are tough. Its not an easy path we have and I dont want to make it seem like it is. This is just what I have found helpful for us.On the financial side I have recently been referred to the Cancer Council which can sometimes help with a referral to a financial planner. Maybe that could help with your worry about the mortgage. That must be such a scary thing for you on top of everything else.Good luck with it all. No question it would make you furious, anxious, etc etc becaue membership of this particular club is not exactly one with queues of people waiting to join. Take care and be kind to yourself. LLS

  • LLS
    LLS Member Posts: 22 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    hi Deb,your story of how to tell the children really resonates with me. I was 45 when I was diagnosed,mets from the start. at the time my children were 13, 8 and 5. I had no idea what to tell them. I was lucky though. My surgeon referred me to a wonderful Breast Care Nurse who was able to give me a really good idea about how to start the conversation, what the likely questions would be and guidance on how to answer.I didn't want to know my prognosis at the time but have since found out it was, let us say, rather poor. 5 years on we all  live, reasonably well,  with Mum's new "normal". We have hiccups of course but my psychologist, bless her, listens and offers advice, as does another Breast Care nurse I have maintained contact with. One of my children formed a good relationship with a counsellor at school and has been able to check in there when things are tough. Its not an easy path we have and I dont want to make it seem like it is. This is just what I have found helpful for us.On the financial side I have recently been referred to the Cancer Council which can sometimes help with a referral to a financial planner. Maybe that could help with your worry about the mortgage. That must be such a scary thing for you on top of everything else.Good luck with it all. No question it would make you furious, anxious, etc etc becaue membership of this particular club is not exactly one with queues of people waiting to join. Take care and be kind to yourself. LLS

  • LLS
    LLS Member Posts: 22 ✭
    edited March 2015
    Options

    hi Deb,your story of how to tell the children really resonates with me. I was 45 when I was diagnosed,mets from the start. at the time my children were 13, 8 and 5. I had no idea what to tell them. I was lucky though. My surgeon referred me to a wonderful Breast Care Nurse who was able to give me a really good idea about how to start the conversation, what the likely questions would be and guidance on how to answer.I didn't want to know my prognosis at the time but have since found out it was, let us say, rather poor. 5 years on we all  live, reasonably well,  with Mum's new "normal". We have hiccups of course but my psychologist, bless her, listens and offers advice, as does another Breast Care nurse I have maintained contact with. One of my children formed a good relationship with a counsellor at school and has been able to check in there when things are tough. Its not an easy path we have and I dont want to make it seem like it is. This is just what I have found helpful for us.On the financial side I have recently been referred to the Cancer Council which can sometimes help with a referral to a financial planner. Maybe that could help with your worry about the mortgage. That must be such a scary thing for you on top of everything else.Good luck with it all. No question it would make you furious, anxious, etc etc becaue membership of this particular club is not exactly one with queues of people waiting to join. Take care and be kind to yourself. LLS

  • max1ebob
    max1ebob Member Posts: 13
    edited March 2015
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    Yes it certainly is a new kind of normal, thanks for your post it is great to talk to other women about what is happening, it gives me strength to hear from others that are fighting the fight.  

  • Deb F
    Deb F Member Posts: 41
    edited March 2015
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    I think everything is all so new that everything has bubbled to the surface all at once. We have decided at this point to see how the chemo goes and go from there. I'm not sure that this is the right thing but my husband and family feel this is the best way to do it. I will call the cancer council about the financial planner and see how we go. 5 days ago my mental state was much worse than it is today, so I'm hoping I have turned the corner. The big things like the mortgage are a worry, but I can only do what I can do and who knows, I could be here for another 20 years! I have contacted canteen, just waiting for them to get back to me about the kids and trying to set up a network for them. I have an amazing support network, they just live a long way away. So in the event that things go pear shaped, I worry how my husband will cope. Hopefully, I still have a good long while to drive him batty though.
  • Deb F
    Deb F Member Posts: 41
    edited March 2015
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    I think everything is all so new that everything has bubbled to the surface all at once. We have decided at this point to see how the chemo goes and go from there. I'm not sure that this is the right thing but my husband and family feel this is the best way to do it. I will call the cancer council about the financial planner and see how we go. 5 days ago my mental state was much worse than it is today, so I'm hoping I have turned the corner. The big things like the mortgage are a worry, but I can only do what I can do and who knows, I could be here for another 20 years! I have contacted canteen, just waiting for them to get back to me about the kids and trying to set up a network for them. I have an amazing support network, they just live a long way away. So in the event that things go pear shaped, I worry how my husband will cope. Hopefully, I still have a good long while to drive him batty though.
  • Deb F
    Deb F Member Posts: 41
    edited March 2015
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    I've tried to find the group you mentioned but I can't. Is there a link? I want to be one of those people who lives way past that timeline. Fingers crossed.
  • max1ebob
    max1ebob Member Posts: 13
    edited March 2015
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    Nice to hear from you, I have had so many responses since my post yesterday, that I am trying to caught up with a few in my lunch break. I have Oestrogen positive no HER-2. I wish you the best of luck with her scans and CT today, I am thinking of you, for me that is so..................scary. I have been getting bad pain in my skull I have mets in my skull though I am getting more forgetful and I didnt even remember my pin number today. I think I might need a brain scan, not being negative but its a bit scary forgetting your pin when you use it ever other day. I really hope you get great results. I am on Femera tablets, I had radiation on my spine and use Fentayl patches every 3 days for the pain.     

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