Struggling to cope

Michelle_R

@KIp - like you and Paula and Margie I was also a TNBC Stage 2 Grade 3, back in 2012.  It is always good to hear stories from women with the same diagnosis who have been through the same treatment as you and are survivors!  We don't have the drugs, but chemo and radiation and surgery are powerful allies, and I have been in remission for nearly 8 years. Take it one day at a time, and keep a file of all your tests, results, treatments and appointments as life gets very busy.  Your beautiful children are the best incentive you could have, and the women here are the kindest, most supportive you would find anywhere. Chemo is doable.  Just take things as quietly as you can and stay strong.  Big hugs.  Michelle_R

Temple

@Klp here’s the cutie keeping me distracted and happy when I’m at my worst with fear. Like me, he loves a nap and has been taught well.  I wonder if oncology realise the truly awful impact of wait times after diagnosis. I’ve found it an evil Ground Hog Day experience. Along with this pic I’m sending you hugs and affirmation while wishing the best outcomes for you. 

Shellshocked2018_

Hi there Kip, I was diagnosed October 2018 TNBC, what your feeling and your thoughts are normal. I remember when I was first diagnosed feeling, dreaming the exact same thing.
Would recommend to see your GP to write a script for something to help you sleep, I found this so helpful, as you can cope with more if you get a good night sleep. Also I did a lot of meditation which was also helpful.
 There are a lot of people on this forum who are 7years plus cancer free that we’re diagnosed  with TNBC. This has given me the strength and courage to stay positive and kick this cancer crap to the curb.
You CAN do this, as daunting as it seems at the moment, you CAN beat this shit..........
Anytime you want to talk you can PM me privately. 
Be around positive people, have positive thoughts posted everywhere, most of all be kind to yourself, you will have bad and good days, it’s normal it’s a roller coaster of emotions. The important thing is that you pick yourself up from the bad days , dust yourself of and get those positive thoughts happening again.
We are all here for you.

C xx

iserbrown

strongtogether

It is hard. It is a scary place. 
I have promised myself to spend time with positive thoughts about the future. So if I'm going to worry for ten minutes, I should really spend some time trying to imagine a good outcome. Why not?
Luck comes into it, sure. We have seen the stats.
But you are not a stat. You're a human being. 

 You will do the surgery, chemo before and/or after surgery. You will probably do radiation. You live in a rich country with good healthcare,  most people who get this disease dont. In Australia most tnbc patients are cured - or as close to cured as anyone can be. The majority of people that have TNBC and do these treatments are cancer free and survive for years.
 Most of the women that do what you are going to do live. Most of these cases never recur. That's still  the most likely outcome here. There are no guarantees, but you should try to see both sides here.
The stats - damned stats -on TNBC say that you are more likely to have a recurrence than hormone positive or ER positive patients. The stats DO NOT say that you are going to have a recurrence. The stats DO NOT say that your disease will metastasize. The stats say you are at higher risk of it for the first few years. You can start to breathe easier at two years. Then three years. At five years survival you will have whipped the fear into a docile beast. And you won't be on hormones for the next 10 years. We wish there were pills they could give us, but there arent any pills.
You have a fight on your hands. The treatment is tough. You will have parts of your flesh removed and you will have to learn to trust your body again. You will have scars. Nobody has ever asked for this disease, but there is a way forward. The treatment is tough but it will improve your odds of survival..... that's why you go through it. Because with tnbc the  chances of recurrence are higher than normal. So you accept a higher load. You take the tough chemo. Remember that you will get through the chemo. Remember also that most people never see stage 4. 

The most likely outcome here is that you will be a fully treated TNBC patient survivor, and be recurrence free for the rest of your life. 
I am afraid like you are afraid. Just know that you're not afraid alone. Please don't ever give up.