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  • AllyJay
    AllyJay Member Posts: 943 ✭
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    Hi there @GavinCh. I've followed your post from the very beginning and have been aware that you are Karen's vital support as she learned of, and then has tried to come to terms with, her frightening diagnosis. I also understand your role as "gatekeeper" in the information gathering process, which you then absorb and educate yourself about. After that, you then pass the information over to her as deemed necessary so as not to overwhelm her with too much. I feel confident that as she progresses further down the treatment process, she will feel more confident that her disease is being dealt with appropriately and that she does not feel as if her total future is black and joyless. As her total health improves, she might well wish to then take on board for herself that which you have come to understand. Stay strong, and here's two hugs coming your way... one for her and one for you.  (((hug)))     (((hug))). Ally.
  • Patti J
    Patti J Member, Dragonfly Posts: 589
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    @GavinCh. Thanks. I did read your original post. 
    Obviously some people deal with their various conditions in different ways. I just find it difficult to relate to having someone speak on my behalf.
  • Sister
    Sister Member Posts: 4,960 ✭
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    Different people deal with things differently.  I needed to connect and find out things for myself but I found it almost impossible to update friends and family about what was going on.
  • youngdogmum
    youngdogmum Member Posts: 250 ✭
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    @GavinCh if we were on the same side of the country I’d love my husband to meet up with you. You are such a fantastic role model of a supportive partner; not that my husband isn’t, I’d just love you both to meet 😊 
    Best wishes for the rest of treatment. 
  • GavinCh
    GavinCh Member Posts: 26 ✭
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    youngdogmum

    thank you for your message, nice to read such comments.
  • suburbangirl
    suburbangirl Member Posts: 123 ✭
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    Hi @GavinCh,
    I commend you on the support, care and love you are able to give and share, with your wife.
    Not all of us have partners/husbands and are doing this 'on our own'. I divorced in 2001, and brought up my two beautiful daughters with no family help and working full time, since they were 3 and 1. They are now 24 and 21.
    I still work full time, as I have to financially. I sometimes feel a bit envious of others who have the close support from a partner, not to mention perhaps another income, but of course, we all walk our own path, and I am so lucky to have my daughters and amazing friends.
    So those with kind and supportive partners (and friends), cherish them!


  • GavinCh
    GavinCh Member Posts: 26 ✭
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    Hi All, so sorry I've not been back to update this post until now, life has
    been very busy as you could guess. Below are some comments I posted our Karen's
    private FaceBook Journey and I thought now would be a great time to let all
    know on where things are with Karen.


    Last Friday (30/08/2019) was Karen's last day of radiotherapy, she has done
    very well considering where this all started.

    Karen is very tired and very sore these days and we keep being told that
    even though treatment has now finished things will get worse before it gets better.
    I was lucky enough to be with Karen for her last week visiting the Hospital and
    was able to help out during the week by driving her in and out each day but
    also to provide support for her as this week would see the treatment
    intensified for the last week.

    The Hospital staff have been fantastic and we cannot say one bad thing about
    the people or the hospital, one of Karen's nurses (Lena) has looked after Karen
    so well, she even remembered us the first visit to radiotherapy for the
    introduction visit and today Lena handed Karen a card she purchased as she
    recalls how scared Karen looked on that day and wanted Karen to know how proud
    she is and how strong Karen had been over this period.

    She also reminded Karen to head to the ED Dept if she needed, as it is their
    job as nurses to help and look after her and that Karen (or I) should never to
    feel we're putting the nurses out.

    Karen has done well but if I reminded friends that if they don’t see us out
    and about as yet not to panic, as mentioned things will get worse before things
    settle.

    Thank you to the hospital staff for all their wonderful support, to all our
    family and friends thanks. A special mention to Karen's mum, Daughters Emma and
    Tiana and her best friend Colleen for the continuous calls, support and conversations
    with Kazza as it has been very helpful to allow Karen to vent, talk and just
    having people who were willing to ask and listen to her.

    Love to you all.

    And to my wonderful wife Karen,
    love her the most xxxx



    From what we know now, Karen does have some skin issues and will need to keep
    an eye on the area, then she'll be looking at a visit in the next six weeks
    then a program for the next few years, Karen has commence her long term
    medication as well as some antibiotics for the current skin infection.



    But I would like to once again thank the team here on the BCNA forums, the
    support shown has been wonderful not to mentioned very helpful. I would also
    like to let you know that the journey to this point has indicated that Karen
    should not see a return of breast cancer in the same area in her life time and
    from my point of view, the tattoo I got to remember that "My Wife's Battle
    is My Battle"  can now have the wording "Survivor" added.



    I would also love to remind those still new to this terrible disease to stay strong and remember this forum is one of support,
    recommendations, friendships so be sure to return, say hi, ask questions and
    open up allowing other in.


    Thanks you to all

    Kind Regards
    Gavin



    Photo when this was still new

  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,577 ✭
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    Impressive Tat!!

    Congratulations to Karen for getting thru her active treatment - It will probably take weeks for the 'hot feeling' to settle down - and being weary & is very much a part of this.  Sometimes I would soak a facecloth in salty water & leave it in the fridge & put it on some troublesome spots, to cool it down.  It was glorious!   I hope her skin issues clear up soon - just make sure she keeps any lotions up to the whole area (with advice from the nurses in conjunction with the meds) & to make sure that she wears 'sun proof' clothing - as the area will be very prone to sunburn, if exposed to it.  

    And a HUGE congratulations to you too, @GavinCh  for your wonderful support of Karen.  She couldn't have done it without you.

    You've both found strengths that you didn't know you had & faced this together! 

    Onwards & upwards -  hopefully Karen's meds won't give her any side effects - if so, drop in now & then, to let us know how she is going - better still - get Karen to jump on & join in & see just how beneficial the blog can be, for support, advice, a laugh & sometimes, a cry.

    Take care & all the best for Karen's continuing treatment xx

  • Anne65
    Anne65 Member Posts: 425 ✭
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    @GavinCh Wonderful to hear from you & to read that karen has finished her rad treatment. I hope she is doing well & remind her that the rad peaks around 3 weeks AFTER treatment finishes so it is important to keep the lotions applied & keep out of the sun. She may continue to feel tired but that is normal. Rest when she needs to but take a nice walk together in the sunshine when she feels up to it.
    A HUGE congrats to you, Gavin for your continual support & love to Karen. Some partners find it hard to deal with their loved one going through this disease, as you have probably read on others posts, but you are an inspiration. I know karen will make a full & quick recovery due to the strength you have given her & the unconditional love you both share. Love to you both xx 

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