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Thank you to all the lovely ladies who have commented, provided answers to my questions and emotional support. You have all given me allot to think about and tips on what I should expect are invaluable. I was not aware that I would not be able to drive for some time (I have a manual) and I will now be able to pass this onto my work colleagues and let them know that I will work from home once I am feeling up to it. I don't like the idea of going back to work with drains anyway so at least I can manage expectations ahead of time. I will take the help as and when it is offered but I believe I am as prepared as I am going to be as far as my stash of frozen meals and I will make sure that I go shopping and have my cleaning done before my surgery. @KarynJ thank you for your comment re reaching for glasses in high cupboards, that was definitely something I had not considered and I will move these to somewhere easier to get to. I can't tell you how grateful I am to have found this awesome forum, everyone on here is an inspiration and I have gained more practical knowledge in the last 24 hours from this thread than I have from all the medical professionals I have seen so far. Thank you to each and everyone of you and I wish you all luck in your journeys8
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Cruiser another thing is hanging out the washing I needed assistance with this ... Just a thought.
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Yep - as mentioned by @KarynJ and @SoldierCrab re 'reaching' .... NO HEAVY LIFTING either - that includes grandkids, dogs and washing!
Do you have a small 'oblong' pillow that you can use to support your injured side? It will be your godsend! Your Breast Care Nurse may be able to obtain a Zonta Pillow for you - but I just had a pillow left over from shoulder surgery. Initially, it is to support your arm as you will have to sleep on your back for a while & the arm sort of 'hangs there' & aches ..... so you rest the arm on the pillow, to support it. Then later, as you are able to roll onto your side, you swap the pillow to the other side, to support the arm at the same level as your hips - otherwise it just aches & you'll never get to sleep. It will become your best friend! I use mine even now, when I read in bed before lights out!
Talking of sleep ...... ask you GP (or surgeon) for some Temase now! The ones in the bottle that 'dissolve' ...... cos the one thing we ALL go thru is massive sleep disruption. It will give you about 4hr sleep - but hopefully, once you ARE asleep, you'll continue longer than 4hrs. Either our minds are too busy with all the thoughts going thru it - or it may be the medication/treatment that stuffs it up for us. They are NOT to be taken every night - but 'as required' for a decent night's sleep.
All going well, with a lumpectomy - you may not have drains depending on the surgery site (I didn't - my tumours were up behind the nipple.)
All the best xx
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@SoldierCrab, thank you I have some friends who are going to support me with cleaning and washing and luckily I have enough clothes to last me weeks.
@arpie, thank you I thankfully live alone in a small apartment so no animals or others to look after. After everyone's helpful tips and a conversation with my breast care nurse this morning, I have now advised my supervisor that I will not be able to drive for a few weeks and will not back to work the week after the surgery. It's been helpful in managing my own expectations as well given I have never had surgery before. She also advised that I will be receiving a zonta pillow at me pre surgery appointment on Thursday. As someone else suggested, I have added a triangle pillow to my shopping list. I have insomnia and always have sleeping tablets on hand even though I hate taking them they can be a godsend. I'll mention this on Thursday as it would be nice to be able to get the prescriptions organised before I go to surgery instead of after. Because of the position of the lump, the breast care nurse didn't think I will need drains either so I have my fingers crossed that that is the case.
Thank you ladies, I feel allot calmer and more prepared for what is to come and I appreciate all of your feedback
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Hi Cruiser. I'm in Canberra too. I had a fantastic BC nurse, who referred me to a cancer counsellor at Woden community health centre where I had a couple of sessions where I totally freaked out, and she gave me some strategies to deal with the fear. It helped. It's horrible not knowing what's going on, and thinking the worst - but it does get better. I also had early stage BC, no drain, and was ok at home and could look after myself. I do a lot of exercise though, and so didn't have much trouble raising my arm up etc. I also planned on only taking a week or so off work, but the emotional impact of it all got to me, and I ended up taking 3 weeks off. I could've worked after a week, but I really needed to look after my mental health, and I spent a lot of time sitting in the sunshine, just resting. Was actually quite nice to step off the treadmill of work, realise that work's not that important, and just rest. Take care.
PS Stephanie's at Kingston has fantastic soft bras which are good for going through radiation and aren't as ugly as hospital bras. Also use Moogoo Udder cream for radiotherapy - works a treat.3 -
Hi @cruiser I'm a right pain in the arse when I'm stressed or damaged so have consistently lied to everyone about who is going to be home post surgery. I just want to be left alone. Driving yourself home from the chop shop is a no no, but if you are going to have a meltdown about staying with someone else (teenage boys. The horror) you may need to make other arrangements. I could not possibly give you irresponsible advice about sneaking back to your own nest unaccompanied. I can only say it has been done. Mind you, if you do end up with the dreaded drains having someone around to make sure you don't miscalculate your meds or get hooked up on a door knob or the taps in the shower isn't a bad idea. That is also the voice of experience... Mxx3
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@rose - thank you, the breast care nurse said that the longer I take off to heal the better I will feel in the long run so I will see how I feel. Good idea about a counsellor, I will give her a ring next week and see who I can see. I am having my op in Calvary as I live northside. Colleen's in Garran was recommended to me and I have been in on Wednesday and bought myself a couple, seem pretty comfy but don't offer allot of support.
@Zoffiel - I too want to be left at home and I have very little control over any of this and being able to choose if I am well enough to go home is a choice I would like to able to make. I will, however, take advice from those more experienced if I do feel I need support for a couple of days. I think I just need to play it by ear at this stage but I will pack for being away from home for a few days. Don't get me wrong, they are lovely kids and my friend is just awesome but I just feel I would be more comfortable at home.
Thank you both for your comments, it is much appreciated.
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Yep, playing it by ear is a good idea. I know there are lovely children out there, but it's taken me 10 years to get eau-de-teen out of my son's room and I'm still not sure it's gone. The thought of a house full of that post surgery....Never mind, I was somewhere else when the mothering genes were being distributed. Good luck and let's hope it's a small blip on your life's radar. Mxx
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@Zoffiel - my daughter left home quite some time ago and I now enjoy having my own space and just looking after me for a change!! I'm sure it will all work out how it is supposed too and I am probably being overly sensitive but control over something in my life is what I need at this moment. I'll have a chat to my friend over the weekend and explain it to her, I'm sure she will understand. Have a great weekend.1
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Hi Cruiser, I am in Canberra too. Best of luck with your surgery. I had a stage 2 grade three tumour and had a lumpectomy last year followed by chemo and radiation. I also still have six months of herceptin infusions to go. II took six months off work, due to the amount of treatment I had and I am now back working four days a week. I didn't require drains after my lumpectomy, and it did not really hurt. The sentinel node biopsy under my arm was a bit painful and made it hard to raise my arm for a couple of weeks. The main advice I have for anyone going through any treatment for breast cancer is to look after yourself, take as much time as you need to heal, accept help from friends (as you have) and if you need it, seek counselling. The first couple of weeks after diagnosis were the most difficult for me personally as I had to come to terms with having cancer, as I got used to it I found it easier to deal with, although I do still have challenging days. It is great talking to other people on this forum who understand4
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@Cruiser excellent news that you are taking time off work to recover. Even if you feel ok after the surgery, I think it's the mental and emotional exhaustion that you need to deal with as well. There's a book called "Body Keeps the Score" by Dr Bessel van der Kolk where he examines just how much trauma affects all parts of the body but especially the brain and the neurotransmitters. Self compassion is something I really struggle with but it's something that's very important during these horrible times of stress and cancer. So put yourself first - that's the priority.
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Hi @CruiserMy suggestions for when you get home would be to make sure you have a lightweight towel! I found my normal towel just too bulky and heavy, also if possible put your microwave at waist height (if it isn't already). I did what you have done and prepared loads of frozen meals to make life easier, it helped so much.I must say, I completely understand how hesitant you are about losing your independence, I am the same and if I lived alone I would not want anyone staying or 'looking after' me either.I found that post op I did not have a lot of pain and my drain (for wide local excision) was removed before I left hospital.Wishing you all the best.
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@Emim - thank you for your kind words. I'm quickly learning that I need to put myself first and I believe I am coming to terms with that. I had my pre-op appointment at Calvary this morning and that was an information overload. I have developed a virus this week and was petrified that the surgery would be postponed. Thankfully I got straight to my GP on Tuesday and the fever has gone down, not completely but it's getting there. I was up front with the nurses and anaesthesist and he does not seem to see a problem with it but they have all have advised that I should not be going back to work and I have just delivered the news to my workplace. Looks like I'm going to have allot of time over the coming weeks to catch up on some Netflix shows!!!
@KarynJ - what an emotional roller coaster this diagnosis is, I'm so up and down at the moment. Thank you for the book recommendation, I will pick it up, sounds like an interesting read. I will take your advice and do something for myself, will be booking myself in for a massage before surgery next Wednesday.
@LIttleBlueWren - thank you, I didn't think about the towel situation but it is a good point, I only use those massive bath sheets so I will put that on my shopping list. I plan on moving some things around in the kitchen on Tuesday after some great suggestions from those on this forum, my microwave may be too low down so I will move that too, thank you. One of my friends is picking me up from the hospital and has offered to stay the night with me so I feel a little less anxious about being out of my own environment now
I am unsure what the next couple of weeks will hold for me but I am so grateful for the support I have received from this forum. Thank you ladies!!
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This may have already been mentioned but if not - try to make sure you have some front opening loose shirts (and pjs). It can be hard to get your arms up over your head after surgery (I got stuck and had to get my 16 yo son to take my t-shirt off).1