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KarynJ
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Joined 7 years ago
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Re: Has anyone decided on a total life change ?
Hi @BlackWidow. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I can kind of understand the desire to make a big change. I was in a similar quandary many years ago but it wasn't practical at the time for me to do anything. I don't know if your finances allow but could you rent somewhere for 6 months? Maybe get a feel for a new town before taking a huge leap? You could also then consider putting your current possessions into storage and renting out your house while you're away to get some income? It might be complicated but it leaves a door open if you want to return. If you love the new place then you can take steps to make the move permanent. Another option might be to do house-sitting. I don't know how it works but I assume there are websites and organisations you could register with? Maybe something to explore?23Views3likes0CommentsRe: Bouncing forward - can we do this?
OK, let me be very clear here. Tiffiny Hall did NOT ever compare cancer to pregnancy. She NEVER said anything of the sort so do not make assumptions and put words in her mouth. Her idea of bouncing forward was only ever in relation to HER pregnancy, HER circumstances and HER life. She NOT ONCE mentioned cancer. Alright?? The reason I mentioned her in the first post was because it was on her Instagram that I saw her speaking about this concept of not being able to go backwards and instead embracing moving forwards into a new way of life post PREGNANCY!! I wanted to be fair and give credit for where I saw this phrase "bouncing forward". I did not want to claim it as my idea. All I was trying to do was create some conversation about how people could think about life post diagnosis and post treatment. I never said it wasn't hard, or awful or there was a huge amount of suffering. I wasn't trying to be facetious in using the term "bouncing". I was hoping to have some ideas around a new phrase that some of us could get behind if we didn't like the phrase "new normal". Bouncing was just the best I could come up with at the time. Maybe eking along would suit you better??? And @Afraser - my apologies! In no way did I ever want to compare you to ScoMo!! God forbid! It just to me seems like you were able to take everything in your stride, head down, bum up and push through all the bad and get to finding some good. I think that's truly admirable.8Views1like0CommentsRe: Bouncing forward - can we do this?
Thanks everyone for your thoughtful comments. I started thinking about this after the webinar on managing cognitive changes. A few people were commenting that they get remarks from people (colleagues, friends, acquaintances) like, "oh you look well, you must be back to normal now" or "you don't look sick" or "looks like you're no longer worried about stuff". I guess I wanted to be able to find something to say to these kinds of well-meaning comments. "Thanks for your compliment. Yes, I feel I have been resilient and I am now <insert phrase here> in a life that is different and still has some challenges. Although I look better, I still have difficulties with xyz." I suppose the word bouncing does have positive connotations but have you ever dropped a bowling ball and seen that bounce compared to a little ping pong ball zinging around? There's quite a difference. Like @Cath62 said, some people feel the phrase "new normal" is like resignation to something that is unchangeable and you just have to put up with it. I guess I wanted people to feel like maybe there is one little positive to think about. If you've ever looked into Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), there's a lot of focus on radical acceptance and what that does and doesn't mean. Radical acceptance is accepting your situation right now. You don't have to like it, you can hate it, be frustrated by it, but you understand it is what it is. But it's not resignation, it's not defeatism and saying, well that's it. Nothing I can do about it now, just resign myself to my fate. And once you accept your situation, you can then look at what can be done to change it. Maybe I'll go for a 5 minute walk today? And tomorrow, your radical acceptance will be of a life that consisted of a 5 minute walk that wasn't there 2 days ago. Anyway, that's too complicated for me to explain properly. If anyone is interested, a book called The Happiness Trap by Russell Harris is an easy to read overview of ACT. Everyone is different after diagnosis and treatment. And yes, it's a hard slog for most people with awful life changes and terrible side effects and consequences. And then there are people like @Afraser who bulldoze their way through the process and don't let anything stop them. I had the luxury of being able to take time off work and use income protection insurance to help with covering daily expenses. I used AIs for about 18 months and had to give them up because I just couldn't handle the side effects. I wasn't strong enough to battle through for 10 years like most people on this board. And now my life is a lot like it was before bc - wake up, go to work, come home, watch TV, go to bed. I just have a couple more scars to add to my existing collection and radiation tattoos as decoration. I feel like my body is a Snakes and Ladders board :smile: Find a scar, go back 3 places. So if the phrase bouncing forward isn't right and some people don't like the new normal, is there something else we can say?2Views2likes0CommentsBouncing forward - can we do this?
There is this expectation that after treatment, we will bounce back and be our old selves again. Of course, anyone who has been affected by cancer or knows someone who has been affected, realises it's not that easy. There is a lot of emphasis on learning to accept the "new me". Tiffiny Hall, personal trainer, ex-Biggest Loser trainer, has come up with this concept of bouncing forward. She has related it to pregnancy and accepting that her body after childbirth will never be the same. So instead of pressuring herself to "bounce back" and have the same body she did before pregnancy, she advocates bouncing forward and accepting her new body and becoming the best "new me" that she can. Obviously, she was super fit before pregnancy and will always look 100 times better than the average person. However, I was wondering if it was an idea we could adopt or adapt to cancer survivors? Can we bounce forward and move into the space of acceptance of our new way of living? Can we find a similar phrase to "bounce forward" that has more meaning to survivors? Let's get creative :)809Views4likes22CommentsRe: Mater public vs P.A. hospital
@Lythe I also just wanted to add that sometimes, through no fault of the surgeon, you may need additional procedures. You'll find many ladies here on the forum who have had 2, 3 or more surgeries to get all the cancer out. Sometimes the initial scans don't show the full extent and it's only when the surgeon operates that she/he sees what's actually there. Sometimes the surgeons do believe they have everything and it's not until the lab reports come back that there is evidence of cells still in the samples. And I think it could even depend on the type of cancer you have. I had invasive carcinoma, No Specific Type and DCIS combo which I think is fairly contained. However, ILC is more like a spider web and can spread far and wide with small threads (I think....not entirely sure on this one). So each case can be very different and require different or multiple treatments. You may unfortunately be someone who just got bad luck on this one. And it sucks!!! But my previous advice still stands - trust your gut and if you feel uncomfortable there is every reason to seek out another opinion.18Views1like0CommentsRe: Mater public vs P.A. hospital
Hi @Lythe. I had my surgery through the Mater Public and had no issues. My cancer was 12mm and hadn't gone into any nodes so thankfully I only needed one procedure. Everything healed well and 3 years later no recurrence. Hope it all works out well for you. Don't be afraid to talk to other surgeons for 2nd or 3rd opinions. If you feel uncomfortable talk to your GP for another referral to a different surgeon.26Views1like0CommentsRe: I'm not ok ... looking for book recommendations that will chase the blues away
One of the funniest books I've ever read was Zig Zag Street by Nick Earl. Published in 1996 so a bit dated now but maybe you can grab a copy from a library? Some passages were so funny I had to put the book down because I was laughing so hard I couldn't keep reading. If you lived in Brisbane around this time you'll love the local references.18Views1like0CommentsRe: To remove ovaries or not ??
Hi @Greengirl. Sorry to hear you're having these issues. Just before I was diagnosed with BC, I was considering a radical hysterectomy (pre-menopausal, ovaries to remain) or ablation. In the end, I had to put it on hold while I had BC treatment - same as you - lumpectomy and radiation. When the doctors found out I was considering hysterectomy, they recommended oophorectomy at the same time because I was very ER+ and reasonably PR+. I decided to ditch the idea of ablation because I thought if it doesn't work, then I have to go through another anesthetic and another procedure. I don't do well with anesthetic or twilight sedation so I decided, if I'm going to do it, then do it all properly. So I had the full removal of everything in mid-2018. Since then, menopause hasn't been as bad as I feared. It hasn't been great, let me tell you, but I don't think I suffered as much as some other ladies. I was on Letrazole, Aromasin and Tamoxifen for 18 months. The side effects of these were probably worse than menopause itself. I've stopped taking the medication altogether. I weighed up the options and quality of life and decided for me, it was best to stop. I also figure that with ovaries gone, there goes the main source of oestrogen which may help stop the cancer returning and I do all my regular check ups and if I see anything weird I get it checked out straight away. I also had the BRCA gene test - came back negative. Another blood test I had was a genotype / pharmacogenomic test. It costs about $220. It tests how you react genetically to various medications. It tests a LOT of medications unfortunately it doesn't test for letrazole or aromasin. It did however test for my ability to tolerate tamoxifen and came back with a big NO - and recommended find an alternative. These days I mostly have what I call uncomfortable warmth rather than hot flushes. So in winter I turn on the fan for a few minutes or in summer I lower the air-con temp for a while until it passes. Then I'm good to go. And not having painful periods anymore? OH MY GOODNESS.....YEESSS!!!!! Loving it!11Views2likes0Comments
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Breast cancer without children
Whether by choice or circumstance, navigating breast cancer without children is a unique experience that can feel unsupported or isolating. This group offers a compassionate space to connect with others who understand, share experiences, and find strength in community also living breast cancer without children.
