New diagnosis metastatic breast cancer
Hi, I'm all very new to this being diagnosed only 7 wks ago with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer (triple positive) which has spread to my bones. I am 51 with 2 children. I had only had my first mammogram 18 mths previous which was clear. I felt unwell at work & went to hospital and they found it looking for something else. It has been such an overwhelming process. My family & friends have been amazing but am feeling so very alone.
Petrea King retreats?
I’m having difficulty coping with my “new normal” and a friend has recommended I attend a Petrea King Quest for Life 5 day retreat “Healing Your Life”. Just wondering if anyone here has attended one and how they found it? I need to find a way to stop the anger/rage about the changes this has made to my life or I am going to become a very bitter angry person.
Work/grief/sadness
Hi all, apologies if this has already been discussed but I couldn’t find anything elsewhere. I’m 46, had a right mastectomy (Diep flap) and left reduction in early December for stage 2 invasive lobular carcinoma. My recovery went really well, no pain whatsoever. I still have another procedure to alter the flap and then have nipple tattooing but have to wait until later in the year. Started on Tamoxifen in Jan. I went back to work at the start of March and since then have felt the wheels come off a bit. I went back on reduced hours but in a different role to what I usually do (but just as busy!) 3 weeks in I was feeling overwhelmed and crying at the drop of a hat. This role was only to cover someone else and when I asked for more time on reduced hours/duties I was given yet another new role which is totally unfamiliar to me. Consequently I ended up leaving work early this morning as I was in tears. I think because my recovery went so well I hadn’t properly processed everything that had happened before (diagnosis to surgery was pretty quick). And work seems to have triggered a huge reaction that I didn’t expect. It feels like the reality of all this has hit all at once and I’m on a huge emotional rollercoaster. I am seeing a counsellor and she’s been amazing. Plus I’ve started acupuncture. I’m so used to be busy and I used to love it but at the moment, I just don’t have the capacity for it. Has anyone else had a similar experience?
Feeling scared and just a bit angry
Hi, I'm Karen, 61yo, from Victoria. I was diagnosed in September, my birthday actually, I was numb. I had been dealing with a very coercive relationship, narcissism, gaslighting the lot, to be told this news was just too much, I had all sorts going through my head, How do I tell my children? How do I do this? Why me? Everything was so hard to process and even now I'm struggling. I was told it was an Oestrogen based cancer, sorry I cant remember much of that conversation, but 2 Biopsies, the first one they biopsied the wrong lymph node, Pet scan, M.R.I and blood test later to be told sorry its not good news, well having a lump in the breast isnt good news anyway but, I had my right breast and Lymph nodes removed, then to be told its bad news I'm so sorry was another kick in the guts, 35 of my 36 nodes were affected, so onto another more thorough Pet scan, blood test and M.R.I, To get the good news that it wasn't anywhere else in my body. Now I'm preparing for Chemo to start on the 2nd of Jan and I'm absolutely terrified, I have no emotional or any other support at home, even though I'm told everyday that he cares, they say actions speak louder than words well Im yet to see any, my son who is my heart, doesn't know how to deal with this and neither do I. They have just had an Eptopic pregnancy and I'm hurting for them, we were all so excited and happy. I don't know what to do or how I'm going to do it, my living situation is so toxic to my mental health and is impacting on my son and daughter-in-law as well. My partner is trying to get me out of the house and that is something I can't deal with at the moment as I'm trying to deal with being there for my son and daughter-in-law and Chemo, I feel like I'm rambling, my life is a mess, I just don't know what to do. Sorry for the rambling talk I'm not very good at putting things on paper, everything is very disjointed.
Insulting and Judgmental Comments
Something I was not prepared for post breast reconstruction, are the judgmental comments the scar on my belly is attracting. I have been undergoing abdominal ultrasounds to try and figure out the problems I am having with my period. The ultrasound people keep referring to the scar on my belly as a "tummy tuck". I've even been asked "why have you had a tummy tuck?" I have a lot of scars on my body. I am proud of every one of them. They are proof of all the crap I have been through with Hodgkin's lymphoma and breast cancer. None of these scars attract the same judgment and comments as the one on my belly. I have not had a tummy tuck! I had a bilateral skin sparing mastectomy and DIEP flap reconstruction! I was in surgery for 9 hours! I was in hospital for 7 days! I was off work for 10 weeks! I chose to undergo this surgery to remove breast cancer and reduce the risk of recurrence and death!!!!!! I was so SCARED going into that surgery!! This was no FUCKING tummy tuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lego! Feel like a kid again
Well, I’m 5 months in to my BC journey & am going to be off for at least another 5-6 more months (2 surgeries & 2 x rounds of AC chemo down, 14 rounds of chemo left, then radiation, then hormone therapy). I kept stocking up my spotlight online cart, but then I thought with my track record of not completing much craft, I turned my idea to Lego. I bought the kit of ‘The Office’ & I think this is something I’ll actually finish! The kids are sad because I told them they could only play with it if they were in character 😂 I’ve let them build the characters & help pass me pieces, but the structure is all mine. I’ve done Michael & Pam’s work areas. I’m trying to pace myself though. We’ve got to treat ourselves right, this is a crap thing to live through. Any other Lego kits anyone has completed or can recommend?
Is everyone sleeping or just not posting?
Hi there Not sure at what point I go from newly diagnosed (August 2024) to more? Or if I’m no longer considered “new” if I’ve just had surgery early October? Like many others I’ve been busy just getting ready and preparing and being overwhelmed. These few days post surgery at home are the time I can now think. Only I can’t really think, it’s just blank and nights are the worst.
Total left mastectomy vs expander/implant?
Hi everyone - I’m newly diagnosed and have found BCN hugely helpful and reassuring. I have bilateral early cancers - invasive ductal (left side) and invasive lobular (right side). ER + PR + HER2 -.I believe ‘low grade, slow growing’. My treatment recommendation is: left side mastectomy, nipple/skin sparing with expander then later implant and right side lumpectomy. Followed by radiation and letrozole. Surgery scheduled for 22/11 at Chris O’Brien Lifehouse. The choice I have is left side total mastectomy or the reconstruction? For context, I’m middle aged, slim/small breasted and physically very active. Apart from the obvious surgery and post operative worries, my other concern is around the possibility of spending many months with ongoing breast related issues. Wondering if any of you have had a similar experience….and any thoughts/advice you might have? Thank you 🎀
