Forum Discussion
Vulnerability & Shame - Speaker
One of the guest speakers at the BC lunch I went to last week was talking about vulnerability and shame. I have to admit to being a little bit over the self-help pstcho-babble and inwardly cringed when we were asked to talk to our neighbours at the table but it turned out to be a very interesting presentation. It's based on the work of Brene Brown and worth a quick perusal if nothing more. Is it a surprise when one of my "I believe" statements was that "I believe that the beach can fix anything"? (Obviously, not curing cancer but it makes me feel better about what I'm dealing with.). Anyway, I thought I should share because I play nicely that way.
22 Replies
- Thanks thanks for posting the Brene Brown Ted talk.....it was excellent...
🌹 - @kmakm and @kezmusc. You do know what FINE means don't you? F'ed off, nervous and exhausted!
- Oh it's a so and so when the "know it alls" start! Recently I offloaded a negative Nellie and I have to say goodness it feels good! Sad isn't it as I am tolerant of most and enjoy the company of most but this one was treating it like she was the expert and it was a competition.
- I had my 97th Herceptin infusion last week - 1st was Aug. 2011. It irritates me (which is a change from my initial fury) when people suggest they know the reason for my breast cancer. I have learned to reply, 'Yes, I've thought about that sometimes and I've come to the conclusion that there are just too many variables'. Then I change the subject. In bitch or feral cat mode I have heard myself say, 'Yes, we can never be certain, maybe it was a mis-alignment of the planets or maybe making mud pies with the sheep-dip powder did it!' (I grew up in the wheatbelt of WA).
- @kmakm,
Isn't it odd how we automatically say "fine" when somebody asks how we are doing. I was thinking of this Monday at work. Next to no sleep and my back pain at a level that walking was difficult for the first few hours out of bed. I walked in feeling a bit zombified but still every time someone said "good morning, how are you?". "Fine thanks" WTF I felt like crap.
@iserbrown, So we should be proud of muddling through this mess and the forum is a godsend. I don't think even counselling can cut it quite like talking to people who've been through it and come out the other end or are still struggling through the middle finding their way.
Love and thanks to everyone for their help, suggestions and a shoulder to cry on or whinge and vent to.
xoxoxoxo - @primek I'll use that i reckon. Thank you.
- Away from topic but I read Survivorship and smiled as the TV show Survivor is on at present oh and a surprise winner
My Mum died as a result of cancer
Metastasis lung and bladder. Double whammy smoking and working in a cotton mill. She was treated with the utmost respect by her medicos and us her family.
As to vulnerability that isn't my frailty but I appreciate for some that it is. For me I found acceptance early and that became my strength.
As to shame I'm unable to fathom that feeling
I'm proud of how I have got through.
I do hopr you all find strength and for those that are struggling please seek an ear professional or otherwise. The forum is a great help and we're all in it together. There are some champions on here past their 5 or 6 year mark willing to help us all along
Take care - @kmakm My comment to how are you going was....as well as can be expected. And then say SURVIVORSHIP is harder than you think. But only to those who really care to know.
@kezmusc , its a dilemma, isn't it? I reckon I'm too far gone for any remedial actions to be useful, they'll just make me more difficult to live with and easier to live without.
I still enjoy a cigarette a day, but I never smoke in public, or if I'm in the company of junkies (don't ask) or if I'm inside, or if I'm at work, or if I know I have to talk to people who may smell it on me... Thus a 25gm pack of rollies lasts nearly two months. I reckon the asbestos will get me before the fags, but I'll have the guilts either way. I refuse to give up because I like that cigarette a day. 20 years barmaiding in smoky pubs, I can blame someone else anyway.
@primek makes a good point about the fraud guilt. The mad thing is that people who haven't done this think we are stressed about our hair and surviving the next 10 years (which we do) but the day to day involves concentrating on having a proper poo.
