Friday Funnies
Comments
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Love this one xx
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Arpie just stole that birdie pic for my facebook so how I feel
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That'll teach him!!
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The older we get, the more truthful we are ...
Bunnings seems to attract them!! LOL
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Who remembers this one from the 60s?
DO YOU FEEL SAD, DEPRESSED, AS IF THE BOTTOM HAS FALLEN OUT OF YOUR WORLD?
TAKE LAXETTES AND LET THE WORLD FALL OUT OF YOUR BOTTOM!!1 -
joke for the day.. hahaha
Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.
“Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing?” I asked.Her talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favourite topic of conversation.
She was "only thinking of me", she said and suggested that I go down to the Senior Centre and hang out with the girls. I did this and when I got home last night, I decided to play a prank on her.
I e-mailed her and told her that I had joined a Parachute Club.She replied, "Are you nuts? You are 78 years old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?" I told her that I even got a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.
She immediately telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Mom, where are your glasses?! This is a Membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."
"Oh dear , I'm in trouble now” I said, “I really don't know what to do. I signed up for five jumps a week!!"
The line went quiet and her friend picked up the phone and said that my daughter had fainted.Life as a Senior Citizen is not getting any easier, but sometimes it can be ever so much fun
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So funnyarpie said:joke for the day.. hahaha
Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.
“Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing?” I asked.Her talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favourite topic of conversation.
She was "only thinking of me", she said and suggested that I go down to the Senior Centre and hang out with the girls. I did this and when I got home last night, I decided to play a prank on her.
I e-mailed her and told her that I had joined a Parachute Club.She replied, "Are you nuts? You are 78 years old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?" I told her that I even got a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.
She immediately telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Mom, where are your glasses?! This is a Membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."
"Oh dear , I'm in trouble now” I said, “I really don't know what to do. I signed up for five jumps a week!!"
The line went quiet and her friend picked up the phone and said that my daughter had fainted.Life as a Senior Citizen is not getting any easier, but sometimes it can be ever so much fun
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RETARDED GRANDPARENTS - (this was actually reported by a teacher)
After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school.
One child wrote the following:
We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa.
They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Batemans Bay where everyone lives in nice little houses, and so they don't have to mow the grass anymore!
They ride around on their bicycles and scooters and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore.
They go to a building called a wreck centre, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now. They do exercises there, but they don't do them very well.
There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on.
At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts!
Nobody there cooks, they just eat out.
And, they eat the same thing every night --- early birds.
Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked centre for pot luck.
My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too.
When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.
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