Friday Funnies

Fletch · August 2018

Welcome back @Michellebella.xx

Sister · August 2018

Okay - not a joke but it had me chuckling...
I was waiting for the lift outside of the radiation oncology clinic at the new Royal Adelaide this morning and actually looked around for a change. They have sketched murals on the walls between the lifts and I saw that one of the main elements was a hair clipper and thought to myself - Oh! That's interesting and fitting for where it is... Then I picked out the other parts of the murals - cattle dog, motor bike, barbed wire...they weren't meant to be hair clippers - they were sheep shears!!!

kmakm · August 2018

You just made me laugh @Sister!

Artferret · August 2018

Miss Beatrice the church organist was in her eighties and had never married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ the young minister noticed a cute glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
'Miss Beatrice,' he said. 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?' pointing to the bowl.
'Oh, yes, 'she replied. 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and i found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ and keep it wet and it would prevent the spread of disease.
Do you know i haven't had the flu all winter?'

Romla · August 2018

Now this was told to me by a 79 year old retired kindergarten teacher who I had always thought very prim and proper. I’m not sure what made me laugh more the joke or the identity of the person who told me.

A cyclist rode past a nursing home and saw 4 elderly women lying naked on the grass in front of it.He was shocked but decided to continue on his journey and ignore it.

On his way home he saw the same scene again and grew further concerned so went into the home to talk to someone .He was told it’s ok as the women were retired prostitutes having a garage sale.

kmakm · August 2018

arpie · August 2018

hahaha Thank GOD that Dutton didn't get in tho - he has the charisma of a gnat!

I think he will bring moderation to the Gov ..... I hope so anyway! Bloody Abbott must be crowing!

tigerbeth · August 2018

Agree about Dutton @ Arpie funny he started it all & missed out !!!

tigerbeth · August 2018

Sister · August 2018

I have suggested on my fb feed that we should have an election with positive gender equity for party leadership. Get rid of these blokes with their silly playground oneupmanship games and get people who know how to work together.