Highs and Lows ... WAVES of whacky emotions..
Comments
-
@LucyE I can't say I ever have moments of positivity when it comes to my disease. I'm pretty sure if cancer doesn't get me it will be because something else gets me first.
My positive moments go to other things. I garden and plant trees, I'm (finally) getting a degree at 56. I chop wood and dig holes and get dirty. I help out halter breaking Gypsy Cob yearlings. I ride when I can find something that will stand still for long enough for me to get on. Add that to the long list of things of risk taking activities that could get me first.
My friends love me despite of, or perhaps because of, my faults and I've become an unofficial breast cancer guide for a number of women in my local community. Many know me through my former career as a librarian--where it was well known I have breast cancer--and find my no nonsense attitude helpful in that first couple of weeks when they don't know where they are and don't want their family and friends crawling all over them asking questions. Rural women can be like that. I take them to appointments and cover their arse when they don't want anyone to know what they are doing. Once they are confirmed as being 'on the bus' I personally introduce them to the local BC nurses. I keep getting 'referrals' which sucks.
But no. No positivity concerning the cancer. And that is OK, because that is who I am, and have always been. For me having cancer is like being short or tall, it just is. Luck of the draw, doesn't matter, I keep my positive energy for things I enjoy.
It's a good question though in the context of Lori's thread. My mood naturally tends toward low, but when I'm high I run the risk of being manic. I'm most comfortable and most functional when running at a moderate grumble. Marg xxx5 -
Love your reply Marg. I haven’t got much that’s positive from cancer either. Like you, it’s the rest of it that’s good. Great to hear you’re helping other women. I like your no fuss approach to life. I seem to have been outspoken today, which was not my intention. Must get a diary for random thoughts rather than posting them. LOL Take care x0
-
@iserbrown thank you, you are always supportive. Sometimes what I mean to say sounds different in the context of the conversation. Hope you are well. xx1
-
@iserbrown sounds like a perfect day out. It was sunny here today. That fatigue is never easy. Take care x0
-
Hey @LoriB, so sorry to say Welcome, but you've come to the right place. Nothing wrong with crying, screaming, being scared shitless - all very normal reactions. And feeling very alone even when you have people supporting you is also very very normal. No matter how supportive they are they are not going through the raw panic, fear and treatment that you are and will be going through. Don't beat yourself up for having normal feelings, you will have up days and days where you wonder how your eyes can continue to produce so very many tears. I didn't use to cry much, but I think the breast cancer diagnosis unplugged my tear ducts and has left me with a legacy of welling up at the most ridiculous things. I've gone soppy!!!
Wishing you all the best, come here often and let us know how you are - destress with us, that's what we're here for!! Xx Cath 0 -
Its taken me a while to read through all the comments on my post - just absorbing the information.
im so overwhelmed with the amount of honesty and support.
Ive cried and laughed out loud reading the comments, and for once since diagnosis i feel "included" as in im not the only one, im not oblivious to the fact that there are people out there that are on this same journey, i truly felt alone.
i am waiting for a treatment plan but every hour feels like a day and everyday feels like a week, which leaves me just enough time to over think, google and go bat poop crazy.
Im so honored that you have shared such intimate feelings, thoughts and experiences with me.. it gives me the greatest hope.
Everytime i think about the cancer my boob literally pulsates!
I haven't enabled javascript so i haven't been able to individually love everyones responses, but ive read through them over and over again with my pen and paper taking notes and writing down all the suggestions everyone has offered.
i just wish i could reach into my screen and hug each and everyone of you
i look forward to joining other groups and being apart of this amazing family xo6 -
Hi @LoriB,
I am 29, and got diagnosed in July with Stage 2 Grade 3 Invasive in my right breast. I have also been given a positive BRCA1 result from gene testing and I have 1 year old son.
I too went through so many roller coaster emotions. From numbness, to 'why me, I live a healthy life', to the feeling that you have so much support yet you just feel so alone, to how will my husband cope, how will this affect my son.
I think the feeling of loneliness, for me anyway, comes from the fact that everybody's journey is different even when you talk to people that have had breast cancer. And unless your family or friends have had cancer, they cant possibly know how it feels looking at months, even years of treatment only to be told that you still have a 20% (maybe more) chance of other cancers in the body even if you do remove your breasts and ovaries.
It feels like a million decisions that all need to be made at once and unfortunately you are the only one that can make them.
I guess my only advice is that it is your decision to make and not be influence by anyone else. The decision that you make must be the right decision for you and YOU must feel comfortable with it. Not your partner, or your family.
Here if you need to talk as it sounds like we are in similar stages. Even if you just want to talk to someone about your diagnosis and where you are at.
Big hugs.
1 -
@Kelly88 what a great honest post you just put up!
Welcome to the forum, a place where we are grateful that it is available to learn and share. Hopefully you've been exploring the resource within BCNA and finding opportunities like the "Look Good Feel Better" program
https://lgfb.org.au/workshop/
put in your postcode to find one near you - it's free!
Also there is the opportunity for a free holiday - the Otis Foundation
http://www.otisfoundation.org.au/
It's great for the soul - my hubby and I took advantage last year when I was in between surgeries, oh it sure did help!
2 -
Hey @LoriB just wanted to say a big Hello to you!
So much has been said already, but I think we all share the same opinion that this Forum is not just for sad people LOL, it's a fabulous place to come to vent, rant and rave and just talk things through and know without a doubt everyone here GETS IT!! and Gets You!
I have to agree with @Zoffiel, that everyone has a different personality disposition as to what works for them in dealing with things. I want to say also having had a recurrence, my positivity wasn't present because it was so different to the 1st diagnosis or a single diagnosis. I found it all so much harder on every level to deal with...and so we cope and get through however that may be. A Psych actually said to me that its NOT about being positive at all...its about dealing with it the way you naturally deal with everything...being true to you. There's no right or wrong at all...there's positivity in possibly things that happen around you as opposed to within whats happening with you. I had some soul destroying days and I actually gave myself permission to be upset because nobody was in my shoes or had to learn to walk again post treatment.
Every thought and feeling is real and valid,don't discount a thing!!! just be true to you! I fall down but I get back up like everyone else and keep going. I've come such a long way so find your way of doing things...but keep talking!! because we understand...xx Melinda
0 -
Im 5 years post diagnosis.l will never forget when l was diagnosed by family bought me a puppy l already had 4 dogs and l went psyco l will never forget my daughter said l think the cancers gone to mums brain. No you go ahead l think we all have the right to feel sad for our life lost before. But you get past it and come out the other end. Xxx2
![[Deleted User]](https://us.v-cdn.net/6027212/uploads/defaultavatar/nEXTCP7697ETN.jpg)
