Diagnosed 2 weeks today & need help with mindset please

LITHGOW1950

Hi Tracy, I'm also TN diagnosed Aug 2015.  As you will already realise the ladies on this site are amazing. Angels, I think. They have covered everything so not much else for me to say ....  for now. I would like to share my road to recovery but that can wait for now. Please keep posting and keeping us up to date. Be gentle with yourself.

iserbrown

It's so true. So many variables that determines treatment.  Melinda you have been through the works and here's hoping the Arimidex is doing it's work.
Take care xx

melclarity

@iserbrown I was pulled from Arimidex too many side effects and now on Aromasin LOL, ohh its similar but I really think its just time in recovery that your body settles down. Like @Zoffiel Im ready to walk too...would soo love to not see Specialists from hereon, so best I can hope is stretch out to yearly. x

iserbrown

Oh crumbs here's hoping the meds work. Goodness there is so much to this......it just keeps giving. A little rattled at present over the shock passing of Fiona Richardson MP and another local lady. All at varying stages of breast cancer. That is 4 now that in recent weeks lost the battle.  Oh doesn't it rot the socks. Here's hoping we are all in control and on our way to longevity. 

Take care sending a virtual hug xx

melclarity

Oh Christine I'm so sorry! that's 4 too many! I 2nd that! to longevity and finding happiness in the simplest of things xx

TripleTea

AliB said:

Hi Tracy, I'm new here too, diagnosed earlier this month with grade 3 triple negative tumour. I am a 43yo mum of 2. Have since had lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy and all were clear.about and that it doesn't come back. I

 I'm confused by the info your GP gave you as I have had only very positive information from all of my doctors. Of course my details may be different to yours but my oncologists' words were to embrace the fact that to all intents and purposes, after the surgery I am cancer free and now have chemo and radiation to look forward to, to make sure there's no more we don't know 

t makes me calmer to think of it that way, that it's all just an insurance policy that I might not even need to use in the future. I have not been advised to consider a mastectomy at this stage after clear lump removal, and that if I did have one that would remove the need for radiation. It seems odd that you would need radiation following a double mastectomy. There is such a barrage of information out there and I think it would be worth finding someone else to discuss your future planning with until you arrive a something that makes you feel more in control. Knowledge is power, as is the support of people going through the same thing. Good luck.

TripleTea

Hi everyone,



I'm sorry I have not replied but my internet has been down(we live on a farm). Sorry about "Quoting" your reply @AliB, Im not sure how I did that. 



Thankyou all so much. Each and every one of you have made good points and made
me feel a little better. Just having people who understand is so comforting
instead of those that just throw "keep positive" at you. If I had a
dollar for every person who said that I could head over to Europe!!



@AliB my mention of my GP was more to say that I thought she was terrible at
breaking the news with what she said. Thankfully she sent me from her office
straight to see the surgeon so I didnt have just her words to sleep on. The
surgeon was much more positive and when I told him what my GP had said he said
"well she has given you the worst case senario". Great!! I said to my
husband that I dont think they should give any more info if they dont really
know and just refer us to those who do. When she kept repeating to me "its
bad" I asked her if I was going to die & her reply was "AHHHHH
Not my area but its not good" WTF!!! Now that I know more I cant believe
she said all she did without more info & tests. Yes it is Grade 3 & triple neg but
she had no idea if it had spread and was talking like it had. Not going back to
see her again!!



@melclarity Wow you have endured so much and still seem so positive. You are an
inspiration and if you can continue with all you have thrown at you and enjoy
life and still take the time to help others like myself than that gives me incredible hope.
Thank you so much!!!



What I have taken from you all is to take one day at a time and deal with whats
happening now, pat myself down if I start thinking negatively (I will probably
just give myself a hard whack!), go to the local support group that my breast
nurse recommended and mostly to nuture myself. We have decided to go away as a
family for a week to Bali and have some R&R up in the rainforest in UBUD.
The Dr thought this was a great idea as we originally had a 2 week trip to
Vietnam planned for late September but we have had to cancel that. I am going
to have plenty of massages, eat out, relax, read, swim and enjoy my family. Oh
and have a couple of Mohito's!



Much Love xx

 

 

 

melclarity

@TripleTea I think your plan is PERFECT!!! go and have a fabulous time!!! You know like everyone here, from the very beginning to where I am now, it hasn't been easy, there have been some very low moments, but also alot of reflective time. I actually love my life now....the way I choose to live now not the way I was living for everyone else. You first, as hard as that is to do...the rest will follow. I didn't have any support either diagnosis really, the Forum would have been so incredible so I joined well after I had finished treatment. Having been there and knowing the depth of it every thought and feeling is why it's so great to give back and support others on this road. You stay focused on that path and enjoy a few Mohito's!!! the rest you will take in your stride with the love of your family. We are all here anytime, Hugs Melinda xo

volunty

@TripleTea  it looks like we are on a similar timeline starting chemo the week after next. I am also triple negative  (well, the cancer is) - lumpectomy removed the 3.3mm tumour, nodes clear but areas of pre DCIS and high Ki so single mastectomy 4 weeks ago and now 6 months chemo (4 x AC 3 weekly then 12 x Paclitaxel). I'm making the most of the 'eye of the storm' moment post surgery and pre chemo. Quite the ride indeed, and as always my thanks and appreciation to the women sharing their hard earned insights and experience here because it all helps! 

[Deleted User]

Hi @TripleTea, sorry to hear you're having a tough few weeks. My surgeon said that a lot of cancer in young women is aggressive and that we are all different. The survival rate is improving all the time. The Cancer Council nurses and counsellors are fabulous. Uncertainty is difficult. It gets easier, promise. Doctors don't realise how we listen to every single word they say and they don't mean to be hurtful. Some have more people skills than others. There are lots of doctors out there, find one you click with. All the best. Take it one day at a time, be kind to yourself and do something you love regularly. Love the sunshine today. Am out sitting in the backward after a walk along the beach. I had a bad diagnosis and I'm fine 3 years on, just side effects from treatment. Take care. x 

Aussiegirl19

Hi @TripleTea I'm newly diagnosed too (eight weeks ago) and I say give into whatever emotion you feel at the time. I've cried, been angry and frustrated as well as feeling grateful and blessed for being diagnosed in time to be able to fight this.  Mindset is the one thing we all struggle with and I reckon there's no right way to feel. We all need to find a new normal for ourselves as they say and do what makes us feel happy and able to cope with what lies ahead. Good luck!

Cynth6

Hi @TripleTea sorry to hear you have had to join us. 
Im also a grade 3, triple neg and 30 yrs old. I also always do think about what if it comes and back but then I also think just enjoy every day and make the most of it. 
I do see a psychologist from before cancer and she is helping me a lot now. I would suggest seeing someone as soon as you can as the first part of diagnosis is the hardest, well I found it was. 

Xo

onemargie

Hi there tripletea. I'd be a bit pissed off with your gp to be honest. I understand he or she was trying to be honest with you but I've had only positive advice from my gp and oncology team. I was 43 last year in may when I was diagnosed with triple neg stage 2 a grade 3 bc. All 8 lymph nodes and bone and ct scans all clear. I had 8 rounds of chemo no radiation as I had the mastectomy and also took my other boob off 6 months later as a preventative measure. I'll PM you for a chat if you like. But rest assured I'm nearly 12 months post treatment and feel the best I've ever felt and have been told by my oncol that triple neg responds really well to chemo. Margie 

TripleTea

Hi everyone and thanks for all your replys. @volunty, @Aussiegirl19
@onemargie, @Cynth6 @LucyE
As mentioned above we went to Bali for a week of family time before chemo starts. It was wonderful to have some time with all 4 of us together which is rare these days as our son is in Perth at Uni and we are 2 hrs away.

 Many times while over there I would forget about the journey I am on which was nice however most of the time is was in the background which made me 'stop and smell the roses' more than normal. That was nice too. It was a relaxing trip away.

It is 5 weeks post op tomorrow for me and I see my oncologist on Wednesday and it can't come soon enough. The waiting has felt like forever to find out my treatment regime. I'm sure it's silly to want to know what drugs and how often but for some reason I keep thinking I'm going to go in there and they will tell me some tests were wrong and I don't need chemo. Wishful thinking I guess? I think seeing him will make me come to terms with it a little more and accept what is to come. Not sure if that's good or bad?

I am feeling much better mentally than when first diagnosed. Those first couple of weeks are tough. I do still struggle with the triple negative side of things and the 'stats' etc but I try to push it aside and focus on the things that I know not the 'what if's'.  I do still cry now and again, some days no tears and some days I'm  teary. Is this normal? I don't feel depressed or anything I just feel over whelmed and scared at times I think.

It has been really great to be able to log on and read what others are writing and find info I'm looking for. Thanks xxx

[Deleted User]

Take care @TripleTea, it sounds like you are doing really well, getting through so much info and so many decisions. Great to hear you have had the chance to stop and smell the roses and that you have had the time to spend with your family in Bali. How fabulous!  Make sure you get a photo of that time and put it on your fridge or as your screen saver. You can start planning your next trip when you finish chemo.