Just diagnosed stage 1 - feeling scared
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Hi Tweezer,
Sorry about your diagnosis, and your mean boss.
I found things got a little easier when I had a plan and could sort of see the end of the treatment (even if it is months and months away). I hope you get yours soon.
And I have only been part of this forum for a couple of days, but everyone here is so lovely and someone always has an answer to any question. It makes it easier not to feel lonely.
Good luck, Marine xo
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I'm overwhelmed by how amazing and inspiring all your messages are. Today at work the boss didn't mention it at all. Didn't ask how I was or acknowledge that I have a big few weeks coming. On the plus side, I didn't get any crap from her.
This sight is amazing. Thank you all for your lovely messages. Just had a friend say she is coming with me to my appointment. I feel blessed now. I'm not alone.
Hugs to all on this journey. It's a strange thing to hear that you have the C word. Never expect it but the odds are high. However, the odds are better on surviving it.
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I'm so happy someone will be coming along to hold your hand, that is wonderful news. *hug*1
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Welcome @Tweezer,
Just adding to the many responses to say you are not alone with this wonderful group here to support you. I'm a few months ahead of you on this path, and the shock of the diagnosis is still palpable. I'm also sorry about the loss of your brother, even if your relationship had been fraught it is a sad time.
I know you must be hurting and feeling very afraid - we have all been there... In late August I was on my way to a fabulous job overseas and after finding a lump had to turn around and come back to Australia. Two days later I was diagnosed stage three invasive ductal cancer, and 16 days after that I had a mastectomy. Starting 8 months of chemo and radiotherapy this Friday. And it's scary, but so many here on the BCNA group have helped me already. I felt I needed to change oncologists, last week right before chemo and found the most amazing support here in this group who collectively gave me the courage to fight for the very best treatment and care.
I sincerely hope your Mum can come down to help you. I've had to return to my childhood family home on the East Coast of NSW to be with my sister and mother during treatment, as I'd already packed up my life here to go overseas. I didn't want to, but now I'm glad I did. Also the day after my surgery, my partner left me. C'est la guerre! It broke my heart at the time, but he wasn't being supportive and the disappointment of his daily failures was worse than facing this experience as a single woman. We experience pain, we adjust, move on and focus on the important stuff ~ our health. Everything else falls into line behind that.
I hope you can share your diagnosis with close friends. You'll be amazed at how much compassion and support will come to you. Accept all the support that is offered. Do everything all these wonderful women on this thread have already advised! Take notes of each suggestion, get the My Journey kit, write down your questions and take someone with you to appointments. Prime your companion by saying they may have to take over your list of questions if you begin to feel overwhelmed. Its a lot to take in.
Also, ask to see a Breast Care Nurse who specialise in patients such as us, and ask your GP for a referral to a psychologist or psychiatrist through BreCare (Breast Care Centre) in Melbourne. You could also, instead, ask your GP if you are eligible to apply for a mental health care plan which can cover the cost of visits to a psych' in certain circumstances.
On the job front: I hope the superannuation fund is able to help with income protection, and your employer shows a little more compassion. Talk to the social workers at the BreCan about your rights in the workplace. But also know that if you can't work, if it all goes pear-shaped, you can explain and request that your GP issue you with a Centrelink medical certificate for 3 months at a time which means you will not have to work during treatment. This will ensure you have some funds (essentially the dole) to survive on during treatment. It all helps if you are unable to work.
Hope some of this helps, and you're able to draw some comfort from our solidarity - we are all here, walking the same journey with you. Our strength is in our unity and community spirit.
Hugs, Karen3 -
Hi Tweezer and Ladies, I'm in exactly the same boat with no family. Stage 1 left side no lumps but calcified cells diagnosed 2 weeks ago. So will be taken out and radiation. Happy Christmas! I've been up and down like a yoyo as in shock and run a business 7 days a week and very worried financially. I've already chewed off a couple of heads! Lol
Call the Cancer Council 131120 they will give you a few sessions via the phone for free. I'm in Melbourne everyday too if you want to meet. The Journey Kit as mentioned has good info...not the Journey I was expecting! I think things will fall into place just have to take it day by day and keep in contact with the experienced ladies for support. You never know we all may meet walking around Albert Park in Pink T Shirts in the next 12 months! In between I'll be at The Olivia Newton John Centre getting Physical...Physical! Ahhhhh
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I would advise, try and see if you have a McGrath nurse in your area available to you. She can explain a lot of things and help you find help where its needed. A good tip is to write down all your questions before appointments with doctors as its easy to get flustered and side tracked and forget things. Step by step you will get through.1
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Hi @Tweezer here is the link to the My Journey Kit. If there is anything I can help you with let me know ~Ann-Marie
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As a side comment, Welcome to the site Healing Power. Should you have any questions please also feel free to ask and I'm sure you will also find support and have a new found cheer squad to try and help you through. Xx0
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Ahh yes Brenda5 forget things...yes I forgot to take my scans to my $250 appointment! And yes Socoda I am glad I found the site and yes a cheer squad! The only way is to make the decision to move forward in a positive way because there is no other choice. I have already told my young girls /mums to get checked, some of them say they are too scared. I feel the advertising commercials state to say "self breast checks /lumps" this is entirely wrong. Should be "Breast Conditions have no side effects nor lumps" this would make more people have a check up. And you must have an ultrasound if you have big boobs....although Breastsceen has new machines.
Mine are calcified cells..."never"heard about that in my life...nor have my pupils, they are shocked! 1/8 then 2/3 over 50 There's something wrong here...if Advertising was directed this way...would the ratio be this big? NO because Women would be more aware. Breast Cancer doesn't mean waiting for that lump/self examination - what a crock- it means "You may have calcified cells that you are not aware of" - the WORDING simply needs to be changed. That makes me furious if I had known that I would have been breast screening more often that not ...being busy I let it go for 4 years in between....simply being so busy I thought it was only 2 years.
I'm very lucky that I found this when I did. And although not looking forward to the next months it will be a temporary setback. And in the future, I will be an advocate for anyone I meet to get check out.
Plain and simple the "advertising wording on Breast Canser " needs to be changed.
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Hi @Tweezer!
Well as all these wonderful ladies have said you are definitely not alone! 5years ago I TOO was diagnosed early stages 6 months after leaving my husband. I have 2 children and I had NO support, so I know exactly how you feel!!! I had a recurrence at the 4yr mark last year sadly and have had more severe treatment. Im also in Melbourne, so if I can help in anyway direct you to some support am glad to!! I went through Freemasons.
Until you have surgery/lumpectomy you won't know exactly your diagnosis, from there you will be allocated a Breast Care Nurse who are invaluable!!!! and only then will your Surgeon know if you need to be referred to an Onocologist or not depending on the Grade etc of your path results and then subsequent treatment would be decided. Theres no way of knowing yet, so one step at a time!
Deep breath, and just keep asking Im sure we can all help answer alot of your questions to help ease you a little.
Big hugs! Melinda xo1 -
HI Tweezer,
The beginning is the hardest....diagnosis, testing, appointments.....waiting......the waiting is the worst. But once you have your treatment plan in place you seem to travel along on auto pilot, doing whatever it is necessary to kick this bitch back to Hell where she belongs! You will feel every emotion. Gather your circle, friends and family you can rely on.....tkae them with you to appointments, it's amazing how an extra set of ears helps! Write down ALL questions you have.....and ask, ask, ask until YOU are satisfied that you understand. If you don;t already have one, find a Breast care Nurse....they are amazing and can realy to you in regualr language what is going on, they also liase between you and your doctors.......
One thing I've learnt through this is you need to be selfish somedays......yes, I worried over others and their reactions, thoughts and feelings, but at the end of the day, you are alone with your own thoughts and you need to be aware of how YOU are feeling......take care of you menatally and physically as best you can.....you will have so many highs and lows.
Remember to breathe......I mean really breathe. You've got this...and we've got your back!
stay strong|breathe|believe
Tracy Xx1 -
Hi Tweezer,Tweezer said:Hi all
Three weeks ago I was in the shower and noticed a lump. I'm not a lumpy breast person so I realised straight away. It was tender also.
So I booked a mammogram through breast screen and saw my Dr.
a few issues in my personal life made me forget a little about it and then breast screen got hold of me. They called me in and did more tests. Biopsy was awful and I did it all alone. Really wish now that I'd taken a friend.
2 days later I get told I have cancer. Again, alone.
I'm still in a little shock. It's the waiting game now. Just not really knowing when surgery is to happen and what all the next steps are. As I live in Melbourne and the breast clinics are in Tuesdays I have another week to wait!
Today I found this forum and don't feel so alone. I have friends who care and my mum is in Qld and will come down if I need. But something is holding m back from asking. Left my husband last year. Has been a rough ride and it's like this is the final piece of the let's keep kicking me.
I know it's a good result if I have to have it and I see so many people have it so much worse than me. I'm glad I found this.
Dont feel so alone. Scared - yes. Alone - no
Definitely not alone and yes it is scary. Hope you find someone to attend appointments with. Local breast cancer support groups are good idea. They should have contacted you by now.1 -
Hi all
I had surgery and have to have a second operation as some cancer in the ducts.
Getting through the post operation and swelling has been hard. Work and friends have helped.
Even spoke to my ex husband for the first time in 12 months. Felt very vulnerable at time but managed to get through.
It's just a journey I have to take on my own.0 -
@Tweezer
It is hard going, absolutely no denying, day at a time until all results are back, pathology is clear and treatment clear. I totally concur with the ex husband thing, which makes it doubly hard. 5yrs ago my first diagnosis as much as he wanted to be there I pushed him aside, I had no support really just myself and my kids back then, it was so incredibly hard. Last year a savage blow with Stage 3 Aggressive IDC in the same spot a recurrence. Again my ex husband wanted to be there, again I said no and unfortunately whilst dealing with being a single parent, working and then 4.5 months of Chemo, I too had to deal with him who made my life very very hard on top of it all, which really hurt and broke me further. However! 6 months prior to this diagnosis I met someone and he is still by my side 2 years later through it all. Again this time as he wasnt around very much, I didnt have much support. My Dad was it really, interesting reality I found, well meaning people I'll cook a meal I'll do this I'll do that....all did nothing....it was the least expected people that offered. It is hard alone, it absolutely was...and even when you have support around you, its still a very lonely journey I found. So step at a time, Hugs Melinda xo1 -
I'm sorry you have to do this alone....do you have a breast care nurse yet? She may be able to help with getting someone to go along with you to appointments if you have no one else?.... This experience has taught me many things, but one thing I realised is that it can be a lonely time, even if you are surrounded by loved ones and friends! It's important not to get stuck in that void....reach out and grab the resources availale to you......and remember, we are here too!1
