Just diagnosed stage 1 - feeling scared
Tweezer
Member Posts: 7 ✭
Hi all
Three weeks ago I was in the shower and noticed a lump. I'm not a lumpy breast person so I realised straight away. It was tender also.
So I booked a mammogram through breast screen and saw my Dr.
a few issues in my personal life made me forget a little about it and then breast screen got hold of me. They called me in and did more tests. Biopsy was awful and I did it all alone. Really wish now that I'd taken a friend.
2 days later I get told I have cancer. Again, alone.
I'm still in a little shock. It's the waiting game now. Just not really knowing when surgery is to happen and what all the next steps are. As I live in Melbourne and the breast clinics are in Tuesdays I have another week to wait!
Today I found this forum and don't feel so alone. I have friends who care and my mum is in Qld and will come down if I need. But something is holding m back from asking. Left my husband last year. Has been a rough ride and it's like this is the final piece of the let's keep kicking me.
I know it's a good result if I have to have it and I see so many people have it so much worse than me. I'm glad I found this.
Dont feel so alone. Scared - yes. Alone - no
Three weeks ago I was in the shower and noticed a lump. I'm not a lumpy breast person so I realised straight away. It was tender also.
So I booked a mammogram through breast screen and saw my Dr.
a few issues in my personal life made me forget a little about it and then breast screen got hold of me. They called me in and did more tests. Biopsy was awful and I did it all alone. Really wish now that I'd taken a friend.
2 days later I get told I have cancer. Again, alone.
I'm still in a little shock. It's the waiting game now. Just not really knowing when surgery is to happen and what all the next steps are. As I live in Melbourne and the breast clinics are in Tuesdays I have another week to wait!
Today I found this forum and don't feel so alone. I have friends who care and my mum is in Qld and will come down if I need. But something is holding m back from asking. Left my husband last year. Has been a rough ride and it's like this is the final piece of the let's keep kicking me.
I know it's a good result if I have to have it and I see so many people have it so much worse than me. I'm glad I found this.
Dont feel so alone. Scared - yes. Alone - no
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Comments
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Hi Tweezer, Sorry about your diagnosis but glad that you've joined the network. Welcome!! Sounds like you have been through a whole lot in a very short space of time. I too was by myself when I found out. Have you been referred to a surgeon yet? When you have you will find out your time frame for surgery, what other tests are necessary, discussions on whether to have a lumpectomy or mastectomy. If you went through breast screen I'm assuming they signed you up for this network - did they order a My Journey Kit for you?? It's full of information and very helpful. As for your mum, no one can tell you whether to ask for her assistance or not, but for me when I came out of surgery my mum, older sister, brother and niece arrived not long after I was returned to the ward and it was beautiful to have their support and see them. Please don't be afraid to ask questions as everyone here has experience and are all very sharing to try and help others through. The waiting is one of the hardest things but you have already shown your strength. You will get through this and we are here to help. Wishing you all the best. Xx Cath2
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Hi Tweezer,
I am so glad you have found this group!
A breast cancer diagnosis is really scary and the start to a very emotional journey. I just wanted to say hello and let you know that you are now with a group of really caring ladies who are a wealth of information to help you on your journey. It's really comforting to talk to others who are going through what you are. Take one day at a time, one appointment at a time and one piece of chocolate at a time
. From what you have already been through, it sounds like you have an inner strength that will help you on this journey.
Sending love and support your way.
Susie xx
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Hi @Tweezer, sorry to hear of your diagnosis. There are some lovely supportive women here who understand what you are going through and can offer support and guidance along your journey. I understand that you are scared at the moment, I too was terrified when I was initially diagnosed but as I learnt more about my specific situation and what treatment options were available, I didn't feel as scared anymore. There are lots of treatment options available these days and a lot of women have successful outcomes. Good luck with your journey xxx2
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Welcome. The waiting is the hardest part and we all understand that feeling of anxiety and what ifs ....going through your head constantly. I urge you to contact close family and friends abd take people with you to your appointments . ..it's hard to take it all in. Write down questions. Have you ordered the My journey kit from this site yet?...fabulous resources and it comes in a few days. Hopefully you'll be put in touch with a breast care nurse at your appointment . .if not ...ask to. They are a great source of information and support. I was always emailing questions for a while pre and post surgery. It's hard telling the people we love, but such a relief when you do.
Take care. Kath x2 -
I also just want to add some of my own wisdom .. and maybe I will see this differently as I am now at the end of treatment as apposed to beginning it, but it has given me time to reflect and see things a little differently to how you probably see them.
This diagnosis, although it feels like it now, is NOT a "kick me while I am down".
I was halfway through chemotherapy when my partner decided to get lawyers involved in a separation ...can you believe that? ... while I was so unwell that is what he did. I lost my family. I lost my home. I lost friends. I had cancer. I lost my job. I didn't think it could get much worse. In spite of everything, I found so many positives. I found an inner strength I never knew I had. I took a deep breath, one foot in front of the other and walked the path given to me. It was rough but at the same time, and you will not see this yet .. and this will probably sound odd, it has been a rewarding experience in some respects. I have had an experience like no other and have reassessed my life like I would never had done previously.
There is a silver lining to everything in our world, sometimes it just looks black but if you look closely you will see the silver peaking through. Welcome to the club, even though none of use wanted to be members. I hope that you will try and find the positives in your world, they are there, they may be small and you will probably need to look hard but they will be there!
I know you will find an inner strength that will pick you up and keep you moving forward to better days xx
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I was reluctant to ask for help too, but I needed it, and there's no shame in that at all.
Whenever you need to talk things through or just some company we will all be here. *hug*
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Hi @Tweezer - welcome to the forum. You have every right to feel scared and alone with a breast cancer diagnosis - regardless of your family situation. Even if you have a husband/partner you can feel so alone and unsupported. The fact that your Mum also lives interstate makes it even more so. Am so sorry about your diagnosis. Sometimes you need to reach out - whether it is here on the forum or to your Mum. Please don't feel afraid to ask for help - from anyone. You never know what the answer will be if you don't ask the question. Best wishes and hugs to you. Sheryl xx 0
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Hello Tweezer - you are not alone Every one of us in this forum understands how you feel and has experienced their world dropping to their feet with diagnosis. I am so glad you have joined early. All the information and support you will receive here will really help you prepare for surgery and treatment. Yes, you will find things start moving fast (like a crazy bus you can't get off) but you know what? Despite the bumps in the road, that bus ride is taking us closer every day to being cancer free!
I found it helped to make notes of all the questions I thought of, no matter how silly. Otherwise, I would go to an appointment and become overwhelmed with all the information and forget to ask some things. Please take someone with you too as we don't always take everything in when feeling anxious.
Telling our mother seems to be hard for all of us. I told my my that I had a breast screen call back and they had done a biopsy. I knew in my heart it was cancer so told her that I didn't think it would be good news. When my diagnosis came back, I found it easier to "confirm" the result.
I ended up with 2 copies of My Journey and the Guide for Women with Early Breast Cancer. Giving one of these to mum gave her the opportunity to read and absorb in her own time. She just wanted to be there for me as I am sure your mother will.
You will feel better when you have a plan of action Tweezer. Let us know how you are doing but in the meantime everyone on this forum is here to support you. Sending a hug and best wishes, Jane x
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Hi everyone
thank you all for the lovely messages.
Just to top all of it off I have just buried my brother . The day before finding out I have cancer. We were estranged and he was violent, but all the same it was tough. And I have a bully boss who said I at least have sick and annual leave and wants me to use it rather than come in! Doesn't want me coming in if I am going to maybe make mistakes as it's important I am 100% as so important is my job.... I'm an EA to marketing director is not for profit company!!! Hmmmm it's not like my job could loser the company millions of dollars or people might die!! During all my tests and funeral I made a mistake of sending a document with track changes on it and she slapped me via email!! It's actually causing me additional stress that I don't need.
I need to work so I have a distraction. I also need money0 -
Hi and welcome to the forum I hope you find the support you get here helps. The beginning is hard as you never know what you are in for and sometimes treatment plans can change. A list is always a good thing and if you are going to a public hospital clinic ask for help and support. There is help there if you ask. I'm so sorry work is being so painful don't take any crap contact HR maybe you can get some help there. I'm from Melbourne if you ever just want a cuppa happy to catch up, I work full time but available on weekend. Also have you been to Brecan in the city , this is a service set up with people who have been through treatment and easy to chat with if you need face to face, They also have lots of imfo I found this helped me. Take care and one day at a time x2
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Hi Tweezer, you have so much to deal with at the moment, you certainly don't need your boss to bully you into using your annual leave for time off in treatment. As an EA you probably contribute to a superannuation program, even if you don't make extra contributions, the employer side of super usually includes income protection insurance. After I had used up my sick leave, I had 2 weeks without pay then income protection paid 85% of my base pay for up to 3 years. It takes a while to sort out your treatment plan and get an idea of whether you have enough sick leave. Then give your superannuation provider a call and enquire about income protection insurance. Wishing you all the best as you start out on this stressful time, know that you are not alone, we are here for you xXx4
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Hi this is not the place you want to be , but I say thank goodness for the site. In 4 years post diagnosis ans still here. This site was my lifeline sometimes it was 2 am in the morning and I often got a reply, it was my sanity, my place to complain about people not understanding and my place of comfort with strangers I had never met, but in some cases did. I'm glad you found us this is a shit disease but you do get through it with help and don't be afraid to ask it's not a requirement to always be the strong one. Many hugs adean
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Welcome Tweezer. It probably feels like your world is spinning at the moment, but once your treatment gets underway it will get easier. You can do this. We have all been where you are. I've had my own challenges with work and family members as well. I also needed the money and distraction from work but as I went along other things had to take priority. The choices you will have to make as you go forward will get made, but for now try to just breathe in and out. We are all here to support you.
Sending hugs, Nadine0
