Feeling pretty crappy today

Nadi

Today I just need to vent. I have had a really bad month with non cancer stuff. I have been off work since Sept 12 after collapsing at work a few times. I also had to stop going to the gym because my blood pressure which used to be very high but was controlled with 2 types of meds is now really low causing me to pass out a lot. I almost get that under control and now I have suspected pneumonia. I have never been as sick as this in my life before - not even when I was hospitalised with an infection and was neutropenic during chemo. God it hurts to breathe and it's majorly painful when I cough. I have not been out of bed for 4 days straight but I am supposed to see my breast surgeon this afternoon. I don't think I am well enough to go but if I don't go I won't see her until late December. The only good thing about currently being sick is that a lack of appetite has meant continued weight loss - down 17.5 kgs since chemo finished.

Heaps of other not so good stuff going on including my dad getting lost and injured last week. I hate Alzheimer's more than I hate cancer. But I won't bore you with all that.

On the upside my garden is looking beautiful, all of my chickens are laying and it has finally stopped raining. Sometimes the simplest things give you a lift. Also, only 2 more herceptins to go and my port worked last week for the third time in a row, so there's something. Yay! 

Mira

Brenda5

SusieQ2

Hi Nadi,
I just wanted to say hello and give you a virtual hug   I often feel so isolated and alone with everything that goes on with me in my world and just cannot even manage to get out of bed some days and while I don't wish this on anyone, it's kinda reassuring to know that others have crappy days too.  Thank you for sharing this!  I am so glad you can find something in your day, however small, that you can be positive about .. that's my mantra, it only has to be something as small as being able to pick up all the clothes on my bedroom floor so I can see carpet when I am laying in bed to make my day . 

I hope you keep your appointment today, phone the clinic, let them know you are coming but not up to it, hopefully they will look out for you and help you through your appointment. 

One day, when I have the energy, I might see my garden under all the weeds ....
Susie x

iserbrown

Tracey62

Hi Nadi, doesn't it just suck? We've finished chemo & rads, life should be on the improve, yet here we are left with no energy, no immunity and open to every bug that goes around. Think I had rose-glass visions of life after treatment, but the reality has been disappointing. I've had 4 chest infections since back at work 6 months and found that if you splint your back against a chair and hold your elbows in close to your ribs, the coughing isn't as painful. Lots of rest, lots of fluids, lots of love from your family. Well done on the weight loss, I'm still working on that. Sending you gentle hugs and a sincere hope for better days, love Tracey xXx

Ne

Oh Nadi, life can be cruel.  I do hope you get more sunshine over everything that feels so dark in your life and that you will bounce back from these setbacks stronger than ever.  Hang in there hun x

Jane_Elizabeth

Sorry you are feeling so crook. Concentrating so hard on beating cancer can sometimes make you forget there's other stuff to deal with as well, until it taps you on the shoulder, or punches you in the guts. Wishing you the best for a speedy recovery from the pneumonia, so you can get out there and enjoy your garden.

socoda

Hi Nadine, We hear you!! Big hugs. Do you know you are the third person today who I have heard with pneumonia or suspected pneumonia - not good!! Hoping that you are being pumped full of antibiotics to get you on the mend. I hope that you got to see your surgeon. Um... I think I've found some of your lost kilo's ;-)  isn't that fantastic that you're losing unwanted ones. Fantastic that your port is working and ONLY TWO more herceptins to go - Woohoo!!!! Your chookens and garden sound lovely and please if you need to offload some frustration and stress in relation to your dads Alzheimer's please please do. It is such a cruel and unfair set of diseases and it might help to share. Wishing you a super speedy recovery, even blood pressure and some worry free days and nights. Xx Cath

Hopes_and_Dreams

Hi Nadine, sorry you are having such a hard time.  It never fails to amaze me how much can get piled on top of us and while our legs might buckle we don't completely collapse.  I do hope you are feeling better and you can draw strength from the beautiful things around you like your garden and chookies.   I understand what you are going through with your dad's Alzheimers, my mother in law has the disease and while she isn't wandering yet there are certainly many challenges. It is a terrible thing so feel free to vent in this safe forum.  Wishing you a day filled with sunshine tomorrow.  sending a hug, Jane x

Jane221

Hi Nadi, I'm hoping today is a better one for you and that you start to recover from this latest setback soon. I love my garden at this time of the year too, it has given me a lot of joy when things have been difficult, I think time in nature has particular healing properties that you can't find in a bottle so hopefully you'll be out there with your plants and chickens again very soon. Hugs, Jane xx

Nadi

Thanks everyone. It's nice to know that others understand. I ended up going to see my surgeon. As predicted everything is good and I don't have to see her again until April next year. We laughed about how accurate she was when she told me November last year it would take a year for the blue dye from my sentinel node biopsy to disappear as I still have light traces of blue left. She also suggested I keep my port for another 2 years instead of 1 which I am happy to do as long as it doesn't give me problems.

I had hubby cup me on the back and that definitely seems to help with the pneumonia. I got very scared yesterday when I started to cough up blood but it turned out that a bout of hard coughing had just burst a blood vessel. I have also pulled my stomach muscles from coughing. Hoping this pneumonia will clear up soon, doctor wouldn't say how long it usually takes.

I aboslutely adore spring. All my flowers are in bloom. My vegies are starting to flower. My hens are hilarious. I have one that I swear is Houdini. Her name if Fiona, a pure Rhode Island Red, and she manages to escape the run every single day. She goes in and out of the run all day long but no one actually catches her doing it so we don't know how she's getting out and back in again. None of the other chickens have copied her technique. We're thiking of setting up a hide to watch her. Thank goodness our vegie patch is completely caged off or she would have a banquet every day. I currently have 3 dozen eggs in the fridge as all my girls are happy and healthy. We are so sick of omletes so it's off to find more egg recipes when I am feeling better. 

Thanks for the support. Take care everyone

Nadine

SusieQ2

*gulps at the thought of 'lil Fiona sneaking in and out of the chicken run* .... I hope you don't have foxes around, Nadi!

socoda

Hey Nadine, here's one I used to make 

Nadi

SusieQ2 said:

*gulps at the thought of 'lil Fiona sneaking in and out of the chicken run* .... I hope you don't have foxes around, Nadi!

We definitely have foxes but the hens are locked away tight at night and the foxes don't come near them during the day because of our three dogs are the most amazing guard dogs against predators. In 18 years we've only ever lost one hen to a fox when they weren't locked up one night. Even then she died of fright - no actual injury because the dogs were on that fox so incredibly fast and it did not have a chance to bite or choke. We have been very lucky. 

Nadi

socoda said:

Hey Nadine, here's one I used to make 

Wow 20 eggs!! Now that's exactly what I need. Thanks