Best Of

Year three N E D

So technically it was Thursday but anyhoo...stuff got in the way.

We've been pinking it up at work for the last couple of weeks. Yes, I still like pink, the brighter and blingier the better.

So that's been a lot of fun and we've raised a good deal of money. I am grateful for my job it keeps me appreciative for what I have.

I tried to come up with some words of wisdom but we all know this thing is just a matter of a muddle through for a bit.

I’ve decided I don’t want my old normal back; I want better than that. Nor do I want to waste time waiting for things these days. I got to feeling close to old normal early this year and it wasn’t enough anymore. Be caureful what you wish for huh?

This was surprising, I wasn't quite sure what to do with it, that was the end game right? It took a while to work out where to go from there.

I’ve made a few changes. Some have been a natural progression given what’s gone on and some I’ve had to work on.

For the most part, I feel stronger than ever and I push myself harder than before. I commit to a lot more and I take more chances because why the heck not? Nothing spectacular, nothing that’s going to change the world. Just stuff that I wouldn’t have done before or excused myself from. Do it now, there is no time to waste right?

On the other side I am more empathetic (for some things) and allow myself to feel more. I still have my ability to be an ostrich and shut shit down until I can get my head around it which works well for me but I can now talk about what bothers me and cry when I need to without caring what anyone thinks. I have you guys to thank for the last part. Xoxo

In a nutshell I am happier with this version of me than the old one. I feel more....balanced I guess.

It’s not all sunshine and rainbows and the wheels still fall off occasionally but most times I can do a pretty quick pit stop to get them back on now.

I think the thing I am trying to say is you have to find what works for you. We all know ourselves pretty well so chuck out that rule book. Do what you can and don't feel bad if you're not getting that long list of stuff you should or shouldn't do done. Expect a lot from yourself but be happy with a little, Any improvement is already better than things were 10 minutes ago.

Take notice of the moments. You need them to hang on to, enjoy and aim for more. You already have the skills and strength to get through. Look how far you've made it already. You never know, you might just come out the other side better than ever.

I still have all my naughty vices , sarcasm, dark sense of humour and swear like a sailor but I am far more adaptable, everything is variable. nothing is black and white anymore. Unfortunately it is not 50 shades of grey either LOL. That’s still a work in progress.

Love to everybody and thank you for listening, guiding and the laughs over the last three years.

Wear the sparkles, (or cowgirl boots and jeans, whatever the day feels like) and the Chanel to work if you want, don't save it for later, drink the wine and eat the damn cake.

Blessed are the flexible for they will not break. You've got this.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxox

kezmusc

20

Re: Just want to talk and get some advice

@cathrine

I am very happy to have you join my club. I NEVER ask for help. I was raised to be very independent "do it yourself, girl".

Like you I was so envious of other women in my town who had friends and family rally around them with help and meals. My prickly, standoffish, "nose in the air" manner probably put many people off.

I have no family in town, that's just the way it is. And I live remotely with little or no support services.

Oh people always asked how I was and I realised that there was care and concern. What I did not realise was, is that others saw me as a strong, coping, independent woman who got on with the job. That's the persona I presented outwardly while I was falling apart on the inside.

This forum became my "help". The care, love, support and understanding got me through this very difficult time.

Having got through the last two years have I learnt to ask for help? No, it is just not in my nature. What I have learnt is that there is no right way or wrong way in coping.

My very Warm (oh so very warm!!) Kimberley wishes to you.

Annie

Annie C

8

Re: What a time to find out you're not covered by HBF! And can I save my nipple?

Thanks Arpie! And today more good news- HBF is reinstating my cover! My girlfriends came over on the weekend and helped me write a complaint to them and they called me today and said it was their error that they never communicated with me that the cover was being cancelled so they allowed me to back-pay and continue with my previous level of cover!

I'm thrilled about that but still going public now as I was so impressed with Fiona Stanley.

KylieG

9

Re: On Our Walks

Did some beautiful walks in Perth earlier this month.

kmakm

5

Re: On Our Walks

Sunrise at Lake St Clair on the weekend

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/6027212/uploads/editor/ih/02fq64nk9ug9.jpg

I didn't have to walk far for these - one in our kitchen & the other on our rear deck ...... both from my brother after my surgery in Jan '18

I love this orchid!

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/6027212/uploads/editor/4o/ptqkxh85e2hs.jpg

Beautiful Hoya - this is the best I've seen it!

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/6027212/uploads/editor/7e/4442pchltqy5.jpg

10 or more buds on it!!

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/6027212/uploads/editor/78/yr2hv0ghovc2.jpg

arpie

5

Re: On Our Walks

Lake St Clair, Tasmania. What a difference a day makes. First morning was windy with small waves. This morning fog and not a breath of breeze.

Deanne

8

Re: Single or double mastectomy

My left had gone feral on me and the right had "abnormal geography" according to the ultrasound and other scans. I insisted that I wanted both off and was initially given all the "Not necessary, that's overkill, we'll monitor you very carefully "routine. I then told my surgeon that I felt that my right breast was a threat to my mental and emotional health, as well as potentially my future physical health. I asked her how she would feel if she knew that a convicted rapist lived next door to her...and that he had a duplicate key to her front door. No amount of reassurance such as "He has to report to his parole officer twice a week. He's completed a course in how to deal with his perverted behaviour, he's wearing an ankle monitor, so we know where he is at all times" and so on would ease her concern. After that, she said she understood completely my fear, real or imagined, and would remove both. Good move, as it turned out...the right side "abnormal geography" was an area of precancerous cells which apparently have a strong history of going bad. I wear my "fake titties" when going out (sometimes), but otherwise go F & F. My one big regret is that I no longer have a handy place to keep mt crochet hook or pen for marking off knitting patterns.

AllyJay

6

Re: Friday Funnies

A Christmas decoration idea for busy people

Romla

5

Re: 3am

@ kayB55 A valued counselor put the idea of finding the whole business interesting into my head years ago. It's been my stabilizing response when everything gets all screwed up because it is interesting. Frightening, sickening, confronting, confusing and painful on occasions, but always interesting.
Even now--13 years since the shitfight started and dealing with a raft of complications that I could use to float across the Pacific--I find the whole process endlessly fascinating. I do wish for peace, relief and normality, but if I can't have that I might as well be entertained. You can learn a lot about your body, personality and relationships if you distance yourself a bit and view your treatment and survival as a bit of a case study.
It's great that you are coping; if you have managed the first one with minimum fuss, you are well set up for the rest. Things can get a bit horrible toward the end of your first week if you have a strong response to the drug they give you to boost your white blood cells and learning to manage your bowels can be a challenge, but that passes. Well done, you. MXX

Zoffiel

5

Re: Newly diagnosed .. Glad I've found a safe place

@Hils,

It's a common thing to try and find a "reason" that it happened to you. What you did to yourself to get it so to speak. All the scientists and medico's still don't know so please don't beat your self up. There is no room for guilt in this little trip. This thing does not discriminate. I work in a hospital on the surgical ward. I have seen everything from a 16 yo old girl to a 92 year old man deal with breast cancer.
You did nothing wrong lovely.

kezmusc

4