Year three N E D
So technically it was Thursday but anyhoo...stuff got in the way.
We've been pinking it up at work for the last couple of weeks. Yes, I still like pink, the brighter and blingier the better.
So that's been a lot of fun and we've raised a good deal of money. I am grateful for my job it keeps me appreciative for what I have.
I tried to come up with some words of wisdom but we all know this thing is just a matter of a muddle through for a bit.
I’ve decided I don’t want my old normal back; I want better than that. Nor do I want to waste time waiting for things these days. I got to feeling close to old normal early this year and it wasn’t enough anymore. Be caureful what you wish for huh?
This was surprising, I wasn't quite sure what to do with it, that was the end game right? It took a while to work out where to go from there.
I’ve made a few changes. Some have been a natural progression given what’s gone on and some I’ve had to work on.
For the most part, I feel stronger than ever and I push myself harder than before. I commit to a lot more and I take more chances because why the heck not? Nothing spectacular, nothing that’s going to change the world. Just stuff that I wouldn’t have done before or excused myself from. Do it now, there is no time to waste right?
On the other side I am more empathetic (for some things) and allow myself to feel more. I still have my ability to be an ostrich and shut shit down until I can get my head around it which works well for me but I can now talk about what bothers me and cry when I need to without caring what anyone thinks. I have you guys to thank for the last part. Xoxo
In a nutshell I am happier with this version of me than the old one. I feel more....balanced I guess.
It’s not all sunshine and rainbows and the wheels still fall off occasionally but most times I can do a pretty quick pit stop to get them back on now.
I think the thing I am trying to say is you have to find what works for you. We all know ourselves pretty well so chuck out that rule book. Do what you can and don't feel bad if you're not getting that long list of stuff you should or shouldn't do done. Expect a lot from yourself but be happy with a little, Any improvement is already better than things were 10 minutes ago.
Take notice of the moments. You need them to hang on to, enjoy and aim for more. You already have the skills and strength to get through. Look how far you've made it already. You never know, you might just come out the other side better than ever.
I still have all my naughty vices , sarcasm, dark sense of humour and swear like a sailor but I am far more adaptable, everything is variable. nothing is black and white anymore. Unfortunately it is not 50 shades of grey either LOL. That’s still a work in progress.
Love to everybody and thank you for listening, guiding and the laughs over the last three years.
Wear the sparkles, (or cowgirl boots and jeans, whatever the day feels like) and the Chanel to work if you want, don't save it for later, drink the wine and eat the damn cake.
Blessed are the flexible for they will not break. You've got this.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxox
Comments
-
1 -
Huge congrats to you @kezmusc- I always love reading your posts- so eloquent and funny, including all the quirky bits. I love quirky! xx
1 -
Great words and great news!1
-
Congratulations @kezmusc. And thanks for being you.1
-
Wouldn't NED be wonderful!!!!1
-
@strongtogether. Nothing funny to laugh about!☹0
-
Oops sorry. Thought you had made a pun. Sorry.0
-
Congratulations that’s fantastic,very well written,I really like the part about preferring the new you instead of old version, just wondering probably silly question,when do you count Ned years from? Is it from first scan after treatment onwards?1
-
Wonderful wonderful wonderful!
Well done you.
1
