Best Of

Hi Flossy. So sorry you find yourself here in the club that no one wants to join. But as places to hang out go, this is a very warm and supportive one. Feel free to vent, rage, cry, worry and ask as many questions as you like. We'll hold your hand every step of the way.

Right now you're in the thick of the worst of it, the beginning. The waiting for results is the absolute pits. It all gets better once your treatment is underway. Bizzarely you get used it, it becomes routine. In the meantime, really try your hardest to live each day one at a time. Try not to cross any bridges until you come to them.

I was similarly petrified of chemo because of the memories I had of my mother's BC treatment in 1986. Chemo and mastectomies have come a long way since then. We all react so differently to the drugs and no one gets all the side effects. It's a grotty slog but it's doable, and you have to remember why you're doing it and keep your eyes on the prize.

I get the unreality. I was diagnosed at 51 from a routine mammogram and my tumour was so deep no one could feel it. It still feels surreal, and that I'll wake up and find it's all been a horrible dream.

However, I'm out the other side and you'll get there too. In the meantime, try to relax on the white tropical sands of Fiji and have a wonderful birthday celebration. Many happy returns! K xox

Welcome @Flossy.  I was diagnosed in December last year at 54 after a routine screen.  I was just ticking the boxes getting my health checks and had no idea there was anything wrong.  I was in total shock to get the call back and then to find out it was positive.  I had lobular carcinoma with node involvement (also ER & PR +, HER - ) and ended up with a mastectomy and dissection.  I then went on to 6 months of chemo - AC-T.  I won't lie - it wasn't fun but it was do-able.  It does affect different people in different ways.  Some go on with the practicalities of life with few side effects, some are get ill at times through it, most fall somewhere in the middle.  I'm on to my radiation programme now as well as hormone therapy.  I know that I'm giving it all I can to stop it coming back and that's all I can do.

Try to relax and enjoy your birthday trip.  Let the waves and sunshine take your worries away for a little while and capture a happy place in your memories to go to when things get you down.  (And don't forget to tell @socoda when your birthday is so she can put it on her calendar!)