Overwhelmed

Michellebella

Hi , I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer on the 16/12/16 after having recent clear mammograms & biopsy.. My only system was a hot right breast 
They discovered a 50 mm cancer hiding in a mass .. So stage 3+ and just had surgery ..... 16 nolds removed , and arm still numb in places .... 
Chemo starts next week & port was meant to go in couple of days before . 
Then Im told due to public holiday , it will go in day after the chemo !!! Are they crazy??? ( how were they planning to administer the chemo ) have worst veins ) I live a two hour round trip from hospital .. So don't know how I will manage radiation ... Can't sleep , just want to run from all the red tape , ongoing paperwork , lack of support... Feels like it's just a money tree with the code name of Cancer ...
Still can't believe this has happened to me & even though I have done volunteer work in oncology..... I feel utterly lost .

Hopes_and_Dreams

Hi Michellebella,  so sorry to hear your diagnosis but glad you have found this forum. Your head must be spinning at the moment! There is just so much to take in at first, all while you are still reeling from the shock and getting over surgery.  Everything you are feeling is normal, the loss of control and helplessness.  I can't give you any support or information on your upcoming chemo/radiation and port (I had a mastectomy and immediate implant but didn't need chemo) but wanted to welcome you to the forum.  But you will find others will share their stories about chemo and radiation and I know you will get a lot of helpful information from women with similar experiences to yours.
You will find the most amazing, strong and supportive women (and men) who have all been where you are. We are here when you need to vent or ask questions.  Family and friends are wonderful, but we understand what you are going through.
We have cried, yelled, ranted and bargained - we get it. 
You have a lot ahead of you Michellebella but the cancer has been removed and you have a treatment plan starting soon.
Wishing you all the best with the start of your treatment.  We are all here for you.  sending a hug.  Jane xx

Afraser

Dear Michellebella

So sorry you are going through this, many of us know how you feel - it's such a shock, things move so fast, it's bewildering and frightening. You sound as if you haven't much support so that's the first thing to try and improve. Can you get in touch with a breast care nurse? Is there anyone who can come to consultations with you? It's hard to keep track of so much information or check options by yourself.

I know it's hard but if you can, try and concentrate on a few days ahead, not weeks or months. One step at a time. Time to worry about radiation after you gave got some handle on chemo. Chemo nurses are experienced, they'll find a vein. Get some help to sleep if necessary, you have a bit of a road ahead and you need to use your energy and strength for positive things. 

There are are many of us who have been through this, it's do-able! Starting treatment is a really good start. Take care and best wishes.

Kim R

Dear Michellebella,
i know what you are going though I have been there (living this since 15/6/2015). It does seem like a long road in front of you but as the very wise women have said above take it one step at a time. There might be complications and setbacks along the way but you will get though it, time does pass ( sometimes very slowly!). The shock and anxiety are the worst, I was prescribed sleeping tablets which I could not do with out when going though treatment. Ask for help, sometimes you might have to shout for help! I could not have lived with out my McGrath nurse or this website, invaluable.
It is a process, chemo is hell but you will survive it (mostly intact) and radio is a breeze (in comparison), you just have to expose your boobs to a few technicians every day for a few weeks. Most hospitals have accommodation that patients can stay in, I stayed with friends which was great as I live 2:30 hours from cancer clinic. I enrolled in an online course during this time to fill the hours and shopped ( this was only for therapy;-)).
You will get yourself a team of doctors and supporters to help you though. Best of luck and you can ask any questions here or just rant.
take it slow and remember to breath!
Kim

RNSW

Hi, It is alot to take in at the beginning... I am so sorry that you have to go through this.  I had 6 months of chemo which I  finished nearly a year ago. At the start you can't see the end, but you get through it a day at a time. As you can see on here we are all here for eachother for support because we have walked the same path. I wish you the very best xo

Michellebella

Thank you so much , first time in weeks I haven't felt so alone ..
silver chain nurses have been wonderful to me ( my drain was in for over a week ) but other then that , I have just felt like a number 
it appears they want to do radiation in conjunction with chemo .

Zoffiel

If things are moving too quickly for you, particularly regarding the port, have a talk to your onc about holding off on chemo until it is ready. Many of us have had multiple delays in our treatment; if a couple of days is going to be make or break then I , for one, am doomed. The whole business is like being in the army anyway---hurry up and wait. 

I'm mid treatment now and am also struggling with the future  logistics of radiotherapy once the envenomation is done. If I want that treatment it will be a major upheaval to get it, that is what it is and I have to decide if it is doable. Accessing cancer care if you live in the country is a major and well documents problem. There will be some workarounds out there for you, it just may take a little while to find them. We will help if we can.

It's all so terribly new for you but please,  if you can, try  to look at your position of one as 'project manager'. You will have a surprising amount of control over this process if you choose to take it. The early stages are the worst, but you do have choices and you do have access to information which will help you get your head around what is happening. Marg.

adean

Its hard not to get pissed of when you really want to scream out. Idiots l have cancer no one knows unless theyve been there but you look back eventualy and cannot believe you did it. For me its 4.5 years and it still feels like yesterday. I understand it can be a drain on your finances .l had private cover but switched to public for some things eg for radiotherapy to alleviate the costs. I wish you well adean xx

Brenda5

Don't worry about the chemo first dose. If you have iffy veins they will get a more experienced nurse to do it for you who knows how to get into one without it moving away from the canula. Probably a good thing to get the port done next day before the chemo drugs really make you sick (it takes a few days). Also your resistance to infection will be low about 10 days after the chemo dose so best its done sooner than that. In terms of financial troubles, just notify your doctors as they know how to try and make it cheaper by going public on some treatments and there are councillors available to help you with other finance too. Just be confident there is plenty of help available, you just have to ask. As my sis in law who is in the medical pool says, if you don't ask, you don't get.

primek

I had iffy veins too but those experienced nurses usually find one and are very cautious giving it to you, especially the 1st dose. I didn't have my port in until my 4th dose, but they managed to find a vein 1st go each time. ..only one, but they cherished it. (And they obviously found one for your surgery. ..so they will find one )

I am es+pr-Her2+ and my cancer was found by myself 5 weeks after a clear mammogram. I was fortunate it was close to the surface and easily detected. 

It certainly is a frightening time at the beginning with so much happening and so many unknowns but it will soon enough feel like a routine you will settle into. 

We are here to listen and I hope 1st chemo goes well. Kath x

Share

Dear Michellebella, 

So sorry about your diagnosis but amongst all of this madness in your life - welcome to the online forum. Hopefully you will not feel so alone, I know that I have found like-minded almost kindred spirits who just "get it" (even though I have a wonderful support network of family and friends as most of us have).

I described my bc diagnosis as the "hamster wheel". Some days you feel like you are expending lots of energy and going absolutely nowhere !!! It is so frustrating however as the other ladies have said, chemo nurses are pretty good and if you are upfront about your veins before you go in - perhaps even a call the day prior - and just let them know. There are some senior practitioners that just know little tricks to get into those pesky veins. Tricks like angle of your arm, using pillows to prop, heat packs etc etc.

Just look at it as one step closer to the next stage of your treatment and something that you have no control over. Save your energy for your recovery.    

Best wishes to you for your next step. 

Sheryl xx