The definition of failure.
"Lack of success" or the "neglect or omission of expected or required action"
There is not one person on here who has failed in any way shape or form. You took the required action and you did it.
Some of you have done it more than once. Your already successful. You had it cut out, cut off, rebuilt (or not). You knowingly went in, sat down and poisoned yourself then some had the darn thing nuked and burnt as well. You are already fucking invincible.!
Getting back to you takes time. I know it is so hard to believe at the moment (and the last thing you are looking for is positive analogies) but it does get better. It's hard work but you will work out strategies to "not go there" then you start to move forward and reclaim yourself. You are not gone, just a little lost at the moment. We all get a little lost some time after this.
I have a friend who ended up with postpartum Psychosis. I was with her through the 5 years it took for her to recover. All the drugs, all the pills, all the alcohol, all the days staying away from her baby because she was scared she might hurt him.
I hadn't seen her in about a year when I bumped into her at the shops. She looked and sounded fantastic. I asked what she had been doing. (We had named her "black dog" Sybil in a wine filled night). She looked at me and said, well remember Sybil? Of course. I taught that bitch to heal. Now if she shows up I know I fed her.
I have given up giving a shit who knows I had cancer. Couldn't care less. It's part of me now and I am proud to have gotten through it.
One of my strategies is music. I chose a theme song for each day after treatment ended. It is my choice which radio station to choose. Will it be Eye of the Tiger, Sad songs say so much or, Let it be. is always a good one (Some days it's a bit more Sympathy for the Devil) LOL
Sounds a bit corny but hey, It works for me and I can change the playlist whenever I want.
So in the words of Jimmy Barnes
All around this chaos and madness
Can't help feeling nothing more than sadness
Only choice is to face it the best I can
When the war is over
Got to start again
Try to hold a trace of what it was
Back then
You and I we sent each other stories
Just a page I'm lost in all its glory
How can I go home and not get blown away
All the best my lovelies.
