Depression suicide ideation
Hello, I have had a rough time with agitated depression/anxiety and continue with suicide ideation since being diagnosed with BC in March 23, unilateral mastectomy, recon, infection and chemo, hormone treatment to come. I have a psychiatrist, psychologist and am on medication, I am a mother of two young boys with no depression history. I feel like I am living someone else’s life, so strange. Has anyone else struggled in this way and made it through? Thank you
Why can’t I find a local support group???
I live on the Central Coast which everyone is telling me has the second most prevalent cases of breast cancer in Australia. I was diagnosed with early breast cancer in August and have since undergone 2 surgeries. Currently have the “Dracula” drain which I hate with a vengeance. I am lucky enough to have a very loving sister who has come to help me during this trying time but she doesn’t live close by normally. I am soon to start the radiation/maybe chemo/medication treatments and Iv’e been trying to find a local support group to help me through. I NEED people who have gone down the exact same track as me, who understand the emotional roller coaster the this experience actually is. I don’t think anyone who has not been actually through it, including the medical professionals, who can totally understand the impact on your mental state. I have always prided myself as being a very strong person but this has all brought me down to a feeling of despair.
Feeling very isolated
I am 35, and was diagnosed last year on July 12th with triple negative inflammatory breast cancer. I started AC double dose chemo on the 27th of July and then paclitaxal 21st of September. Early November it became clear the pacli had stopped being effective on the cancer in my breast so I was zoomed into surgery and had a unilateral mastectomy and auxiliary lymph node removal November 25th. I started Carboplatin December 20th and have it again January 11th, before switching to radiotherapy five days a week for five weeks January 31st. After that I’m being told two more Carboplatin, then capecitabine for six months. I’ve had allergic reactions, side effects and difficulties throughout. I think due to covid there has been no support groups that I’ve been put in touch with and the only people I already know who’ve been through breast cancer are in their 60’s and have had a very different journey and experience and support network. I’m single, living in share accomodation in the inner west of Sydney and am currently disabled due to my mental health (and was before my cancer diagnosis). Some friends have been amazing and some have been so selfish and awful it’s hard to believe. I’m just wondering if there are support groups that I’m just not finding. Either for younger people or for LGBTQIA+ people. Covid has made everything harder and I’m really finding it all very exhausting and overwhelming- especially since the world keeps on burning and normal everyday life nonsense keeps happening. I’m exhausted and struggling. Any help much appreciated.
Be aware and be safe with Beyond Blue
I often read of members wo are going through tough times but don't have easy and timely access to a counsellor. A few months ago attended a session for people who feel anxious or depressed and we were given a fantastic tool to help us through the bad times. I completed my safety plan when feeling really 'up' and when I am alone and really 'down' during this Victorian lockdown and the whole pandemic worry I get it out and feel it does help me to get through. The plan is simple but works. If you have this tendency I hope you will take the time to view and complete this. https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/beyondnow-suicide-safety-planning/create-beyondnow-safety-plan Sending big hugs to all. 💖Depression, Anxiety and Suicide
This is a post for those of us who suffer from depression and entertain thoughts of leaving this earth. Not everyone is comfortable calling a help-line but Beyond Blue has an on-line resource which may be helpful to us in those dark moments. I do know it has made my friend think and not act with a disastrous outcome. Even if death does not occur sometimes the injuries of an attempt can be far worse. I hope this helps even one lady. Anne www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/beyondnow-suicide-safety-planning Sending happy vibes to all.
Anxiety is a BITCH - as is depression
ANXIETY IS A BITCH All because someone said or did something, along comes that feeling, the tight chest, the unease etc... sometimes you don't even know what triggered it, it just hits you. Then you feel anxious about the anxiety! This in turn can lead to depression. So - That is how it starts - and the first step would be to call the hotline here & chat about it 1800500258 Or - see if your local health service or Cancer Clinic has access to a Counsellor/psychologist for a chat. There are many ways that chatting with a total stranger can help you ..... Some more benefits of counselling ..... It happens to ALL of us at one stage or another. Don't wait for it to become a major problem - get onto it early, learn some coping mechanisms (eg identifying the triggers) and disarm it before it becomes a major issue Take care xxx
Almost
2011 Sister diagnosed with and treated for a malignant sarcoma on her leg. 2012 Sister-in-law diagnosed with incurable brain cancer. 2013 Sister diagnosed with and treated for Stage 3 BC. 2014 Sister's BC returns, metastasised to lungs and liver. 2015 Sister-in-law dies. 2016 Father treated for aggressive prostate cancer. Sister dies. 2017 I'm diagnosed with BC. 2018 Chemo, double mastectomy and reconstruction. Eight years of cancer and death. I just wanted to get through this year without anyone being diagnosed with, treated for, or dying from cancer. 2010 was the last time this happened. I've thought about it every couple of weeks all year, and more frequently as we got closer to the end of the year. We almost made it. Two and a half weeks to go. The finish line was in sight. Two years to the day that my husband went round to my parents' house to tell them I had BC, on the day I had my re-excision for margins, my father tells me that his prostate cancer has metastasised to his lungs. Two years to the hour. It is staggering. Not that his cancer's back, but that for the ninth year in a row, we are here yet again. Prognosis is uncertain at this stage, the spots are tiny, yet to be biopsied and could possibly be held indefinitely at bay with hormone supression. But chemo could also be on the cards, as of course is his death. He's 83 and in very good nick, but I am SO angry, and so defeated. It's not the tragedy of dying of cancer at 47, but after everything we've been through in the last decade it's a cruel, cruel blow. We're not telling the children now, and we may never, but if it comes to it, how on earth am I going to do it? The youngest two, my sister's kids, lived all their lives with my parents until they came to live with me. They are deeply traumatised, there are ongoing psychological and behavioural issues that are monstrously hard and hugely stressful to handle. Progress is slow and fractional. Some weeks ago I told my psychologist that while I was making huge efforts to get myself onto an even keel, and making efforts towards leading a life that was bearable, hope was not something I had. She maintained that hope was human being's superpower, and that she was going to continue to try to get me to hope again. Bitterly this demonstrates why I am right. If I dare to hope, if glimmers of hope spring uncalled for from my subconscious, than my reality slaps them back down again. Thank goodness I didn't let hope back into my life. Thank goodness I stopped it when I started to feel it. Thank goodness I caught it and suppressed it. Because how I feel now would be worse, so much worse. If I'd received this news in a state of hopefulness... instead I feel grimly prepared for the horror to come. It's really hard to see the point anymore. Almost. We almost made it.
After Life - Netflix series by Ricky Gervais - triggering
I've just watched the new series by Ricky Gervais on Netflix and wanted to warn everyone that it could be very triggering. He is a widower whose wife has recently passed from bc. She was 46 years old. He is struggling to cope and has very suicidal thoughts and actions. It's very well done and probably the best series that Ricky has made but just take care if you decide to watch it.
