OMG, all these posts have left me so emotional. I remember the feeling of hopelessness and pointlessness after treatment ended. What now? I didn't suffer depression, but carried a general feeling of disappointment around for months. I couldn't plan ahead and actually missed my medical schedule, which had at least given me purpose and focus. Plus, the crappy side effects of sudden menopause and tamoxifen, added to the chemo brain, made it seem like my life was a set of compromises now. It wasn't enough to be alive, I wanted to be back to my old self. The 'new normal' people spoke about turned out to be pretty shit. Some clever person suggested that I needed to start something new, which would take years to learn or complete. I took their advice and chose study, and I think that helped. I became lost in research, made connections on line with people who didn't know I'd had cancer treatment, and it forced me to plan ahead. I'm not suggesting that this is a simple fix- God knows, I have spectacularly crappy days sometimes, and feel a decade older than I am, but I did regain a sense of control over my life eventually, and the medical appointments grew less important. @"Summer Prevails", you can ride this out with some help. It really will pass. Keep talking- there are lots of people who are listening and can help you. Our bodies mend faster than our minds and hearts do. I think it really is like a PTSD. Hang in there! Lots of love. xxx
