.Completely normal. I remember posting a similar thing after I finished treatment.
I think while going through this you have so many goal posts. Just get through the surgery, just get through chemo, just get through radiation. We expend so much energy just getting to those goals then bam...thanks for coming and we'll see you in three months, 6 months,12 months. No more goal posts to chase.
I think most people go through the"I'm going to do something amazing and worthwhile after this" feeling. Then life slowly drifts back to the day to day grind of work, home and trying to decipher what the hell just happened.
Your family realizes your probably not going to drop off the perch any time soon and you are just back to normal mum, wife whatever.
If you are on HT you realize that treatment is going to go on for a very long time and have to adjust to that somewhat as well or get pissed of at it like I do...grr
Personally, I try to take notice of things now that once I wouldn't have given a second glance. The clouds, the sky, the wind in the trees, the sound of the birds etc. Now I am no, sit on top of a mountain and discover myself, kind of person so it does take and effort to be somewhat more observant, in the moment, grounded....not sure what the right terminology is LOl
It does make me stop for a minute and appreciate the fact that I am still here and be thankful I found that stinky thing when I did.
The second thing I try to do is say "yes" to invitations and trying new things. Once upon a time I would have been too busy, too scared, couldn't be bothered. I am in the habit now of saying yes before I even think about it now.
If I get a bit ho hum, I go fix something or paint something, play (if that's what you can call it) my guitar, anything to distract my brain from itself. I find that works well for me. I took a lot of photos of the things I did through treatment and made a video of all the good times I had along the way. I found that helpful as well.
You don't have to be bouncing off the walls every day, don't be angry with yourself. There is no place for guilt in this. It will get better though and you will find your own way back to you. xoxoxoxo
