This question was posed on the radio this morning. Some don't get enough sleep, some are at a stage where the roles reverse and they take on caring for parents as well as their own children and career et cetera Just posing the question for quiet reflection. Take care and take care of yourself

@LIttleBlueWren best wishes for the mastectomy

Go @blondy ! I like seeing how people who have supported me are doing via the forum, but there are many, many threads that I don't even look at now. It's not that I don't care, it's just that I am moving on from the whole mess and don't want to continually revisit the discovery and treatment phase. I like to be able to make people laugh and find the ridiculous in the things that would make you weep otherwise and if I can do that I will, but compassion fatigue is definitely a 'Thing.'Getting back to work in even a limited capacity has saved my sanity. It's taken a very long time to reach this point. I even find the 40km commute therapeutic--it's a great time to unpack anything that is bothering me and throw it into the back seat, or better still out the window. Mxx

I go back to my breathing meditation when my mind is whirring too much for me to sleep. Sometimes it takes an hour or so of just lying there, bringing my mind back to the breath over and over, but usually it works eventually.

Exercise is my go to as well, plus my embroidery, gardening, walking our dog. If the thought gremlins get too much i envisage a dark room with an open box in front of a window and pile all the those thoughts in that box, close it, tape it shut and kick it it out the window. It works for me and the gremlins really only happen at night or on long drives.

Good question, @iserbrown ... Whilst not having been thru as much as many on the forum (surgery, rads & tabs) I HAVE found that the emotional toll is much greater than I ever anticipated - and I think others would agree with this. The whole thing 'mucks with your brain' - and just leaves you a bit 'vulnerable' at times. It is a feeling that family & friends don't always 'get' (especially the very real fear of recurrence) - or if they DO realise you are 'fragile' - they don't always know how to deal with it!SO - for my Mental Health ... I just try to keep myself busy for as much of the day as I can. When you are concentrating on things - you don't tend to ponder your problems as much as if you are alone & not busy.Running my Uke Group keeps me REALLY busy - as we have 2 practise session a week & perform at 4-6 Nursing Homes every 6 weeks, as well as requests to perform at other gigs (like Legacy, Probus & others.) We perform at Fund Raisers as well (our Breast Cancer FR was cancelled back in April when the heavens opened & the fields flooded! :( ) We currently have 3 more fund raisers on our books over the next 4-6 weeks, on top of our regular stuff!Also - I just LOVE getting out in my kayak & going kayak fishing too! 2-3 times a week would be wonderful, even once a week, to get my 'fix'! Out in nature, you are just 100% concentrating on everything going on around you .... watching the Sea Eagles, watching the fish swimming around the shallows & leases, just trying to work out which lure to work where, to hook a fish ...... sometimes I even bring one home for a feed!! I know that not everyone is able to get out & do physical things - but just getting together with buddies for a coffee & a chat, or a knitting/craft circle - going to the movies - just try & make sure that you are having SOME sort of social interaction at least once a week! Even going to the Library to read the daily papers can be fun - just try to get into some sort of new routine - join the local craft centre & try new things! ;) There are SO many things out there just now that we can try, see if there is something that interests YOU & give it a go! ;) All the best to everyone doing it tough just now ..... hoping it gets better for you xxx

What are you doing for your mental health?

Blondy
Member
7 years ago
@Zoffiel. Know where you're coming from. Better days ahead. XX
Zoffiel
Member
7 years ago
Go @blondy !
I like seeing how people who have supported me are doing via the forum, but there are many, many threads that I don't even look at now. It's not that I don't care, it's just that I am moving on from the whole mess and don't want to continually revisit the discovery and treatment phase. I like to be able to make people laugh and find the ridiculous in the things that would make you weep otherwise and if I can do that I will, but compassion fatigue is definitely a 'Thing.'
Getting back to work in even a limited capacity has saved my sanity. It's taken a very long time to reach this point. I even find the 40km commute therapeutic--it's a great time to unpack anything that is bothering me and throw it into the back seat, or better still out the window. Mxx
kmakm
Member
7 years ago
Take heart @LIttleBlueWren. The anticipation is the terrifying bit. The reality is normally an uncomfortable to unpleasant slog. It becomes routine very quickly, and human nature dictates that we find humour and upsides, no matter the ordeal. You'll never feel more loved and cared for, it will deepen your closest relationships, and you will come to understand yourself in a truer way than ever before. If you feel it's getting on top of you, don't hesitate to get counselling or pharmaceutical help. I did/do and it makes things better. Don't ever suffer in silence, there is almost always something that can help. We'll be with you all the way, we've got yoi. K xox
LIttleBlueWren
Member
7 years ago
Thanks everyone.
My partner keeps telling me that he doesn't care if I have a scar, he keeps telling me that my job is to survive this, nothing else matters. He is very supportive, makes me laugh and encourages me to keep going with treatment.
I always planned to have immediate reconstruction and those plans have changed so I am now having mastectomy, radiation, hormone therapy and in twelve months time I will have TRAM reconstruction. The 12 months ahead are terrifying.
Thanks for your support, love this forum. ::smile:
kmakm
Member
7 years ago
@LIttleBlueWren My BS and I had some discussion round the word 'mutilation' when we were talking about the BMX. He agreed that it was, and that made me feel better, that he acknowledged what a big thing it was, to chop off your boobs.

I have no regrets (I had a DIEP recon). Good luck tomorrow. Look forward to a future with much. less. worry. K xox
Blondy
Member
7 years ago
@sister. How it makes you feel when you read and see all of that kind of info will be a testament to how much better mentally youre doing. I had no idea it would get easier, but I'm becoming immune to everything i see and hear. Not denial either lol. @LittleBlueWren, of course you have everything to cry about right now. Hopefully your partner will be your rock and get you through this. Men that are worth their salt will still make you feel a million dollars, no matter what we end up looking like post surgery. You were meant to find that necklace. Its a lovely story and has given you strength. Its still got a lot of work in front if it, and things will improve from now on.
iserbrown
Member
7 years ago
@LIttleBlueWren best wishes for the mastectomy
LIttleBlueWren
Member
7 years ago
Crying! lots and lots of crying, I really wish that I had shares in a tissue company LOL. I cry easily though, at movies, books and kindness, almost anything sets me off.

Finding the silver lining. When I was first diagnosed I was in a cute shop and noticed a little necklace with a silver cloud and a lightning strike through it, the necklace triggered a thought 'silver linings' I bought the necklace and now always try to find a silver lining in every day, such as being at home not working, my partner and I are much closer than ever, meeting other ladies going through this, time to garden and finish craft projects.

Managing the tough days. They will happen, today sucks big time for me, it is last day I will be complete as tomorrow my breast is being chopped off (yes, strong words but I am unhappy about it).

Make yourself your number one priority and do whatever calms and relaxes you.
Sister
Member
7 years ago
I know what you mean @blondy by being surrounded by breast cancer. I choose to come to this site but I have no control over what other things I "bump" into. It became the only topic of conversation (and to be fair, I wasn't doing anything to hae other topics) and, for awhile, every single book I read had a side character who had died/was dying of bc.
Blondy
Member
7 years ago
A very good question. When you are on the treadmill of appointments, surgery chemo, rads you tend to emerge months later, rather shattered to say the least It's taken up every bit of your time and energy ....... and then, all of that intense treatment is at an end and you are left with your thoughts. Enter the next battle, Mental health. I found this step the hardest of anything I have ever done in my life. It totally messes with your head Coming to this site in the early stages was too much, and set me back. I was unable to cope with reading about everyone else's suffering. It seemed every where I looked I'd hear or read about breast cancer. I plodded on week after week keeping myself extra busy and doing a lot of pep talking to myself Overall I have found 'time' to be the healer. I have noticed in the last six months since my treatment ended, at just how far Im winning this mental battle. I can come to this site and make comments and hope I can give inspiration or help to others. It doesn't bother me if I read and hear about breast cancer. I've stopped arranging my funeral I mean there were at least 60 songs I wanted played, plus a violin concerto. As a matter of fact it was only today or should I say yesterday, as its the middle of the night, that it dawned on me that it's been quite a few days since I stopped thinking daily and often that I had cancer. I plan long term goals and have my life mapped out well into old age. I tell my husband who is 17 years my junior that when I'm 98 I'll still be kissing him with or without teeth . Having a positive attitude and the determination to not let cancer rob me of my happiness is what has got me through. All I yearned to do was to return to normal and I've pretty much reached that place.. Think positive, act positive be positive.,surround yourself with positive people and ditch any negativity. It does get easier but you will be the driver. Good luck